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Stiggy

Finish the thought, game (join in)

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 ..... YOU!! You're the *&^%$ that sold me this piece of *&^%. I'm gonna ring your *&^% neck for you till you turn from purple to blue and then I'm gonna jump on your dead body with me hobnail boots and then, see this 'ere knife?.....'

Rosetta looked around desperately for someone to help, but ....

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there was only Septimus Smith,49, a vendor of fruit machines to the financial sector.

"You there, gent", cried Rosetta pleadingly, "can you help me.Mr, errm, here, is under the false..

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impression I'm a car salesperson. Do I look like a car salesperson? No! I'm a reporter for the Daily Blabber, just ask my editor Mitch Itchyneck!'

'Mitch WHO?' guffawed Septimus. 'What sort of name is that? A likely story!! Sounds like another car salesman to me! You better look somewhere else for ......

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support..but while I am at it, I can tell you my least fave schoolmate is following you in a rage..Gordon Gullible, he used to be searching the shops for girlie mags on his dinner break"..@nd suddenly Gordon removed to the toilet, giving Septimus cause..

Edited by itsmeagain

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for concern. Exactly what was he doing in there with his magazines???? He decided he didn't really want to know, after all he hadn't been called Grotty Gord at school for nothing. Rosetta had been hoping to make her escape out the loo window, but since there was only a single unisex one, her line of flight, so to speak, was .....

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blocked..."I wouldn't go in there for the world, nor a night with Patrick Swayze", she thought, reflectively.

She rose , pretending to be going for another drink, rushed out the door, and straight into....

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the midst of Shaggy Wallop's very own Salvation Army Brass Band. There was a great clash of symbols, triangles went flying like mini UFO's and the large drum played by Major Constance Fotheringay would never sound the same after .....

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the day a seagull pooped on one during a rendition of Waltzing Matilda, causing Gilbert Nobacon, eco warrior, to proclaim in a newspaper piece, that in his view,marriage

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was an outmoded, redundant and completely obsolute institution designed solely for the benefit of divorce lawyers. What this had to do with seagulls pooping on the Sallies drum major was anyone's guess, but Gilbert had always been a bit of a loose cannon. Funnily enough, being in the rag trade, as it were, he had rubbed shoulders with Rosetta before and ....

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as he passed by, he spotted her. By the look of Rosetta, Gilbert felt she had come into better financial times.

"Ahoy there, me pretty smarty angel", he called, hopefully, rolling a cigarette as he was prone to doing at times of high excitement, low excitement, and no excitement.

"Remember the good times Rosetta? Come for a pint my dear".

Startled, Rosetta

Edited by itsmeagain

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grabbed Gilbert in a passionate embrace and snogged him in a manner he'd never been snogged before. Out the corner of her eye, she was relieved to see Sidney Tartar storm past in a clatter of hobnails and brandishing the rather lethal looking corkscrew from his trusty Swiss Army knife, quite oblivious to her presence. Gilbert was decidedly breathless and shakily started rolling another smoke.

'I didn't know .....

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you felt that way, my sweet", he gasped, coughing and wheezing as the revolting stench of Old Holborn assailed Rosetta's nostrils.

"Actually I have a request", said Rosetta, a gleaming twinkle in her eye making Gilbert feel that perhaps...

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he had underestimated his pulling power in the lady department. He rolled another cigarette in anticipation.

'why don't you just ...

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come over to mine whilst we discuss it?", asked Rosetta, sweetly.

For once it seemed to Gilbert that he was on to a good thing. A sparrow

flew unobtrusively into a tree nearby. Gilbert puffed acrid, disgusting old holborn fumes into Rosetta's ear, as he reminisced."Do you recall old Albert Barsteward? Yeah well so did I..only he did a runner from the tv licensing authority and I said i dunno him", he drawled, smoothing his yellow creased shirt down with an air of propriety towards Rosetta.

Rosetta walked miles in this fashion, until finally they...

Edited by itsmeagain

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reached a bridge. Rosetta pushed him over the edge. After all, there is only so much utter twaddle anyone can stand, and Rosetta had just reached saturation point. He'd served his purpose in hiding her from the wrath of disgruntled car purchasers, time to ....

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cut loose and go check her bank balance. Down Gumption street she strolled, musing about the fact that a friend in need can quickly be abandoned as and when she , Rosetta, feels like it.

Having ascertained that her bank balance was indeed healthy, she mused half heartedly about her next newspaper article.

She needn't wait long, as wailing police and ambulance sirens flew towards Mawkish Water, the brook below the bridge she pushed Gilbert from.

Unsuspecting, she rushed to...

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the scene of the crime just as Gilbert was being hauled unceremoniously out of the rubbish infested waters by his right foot. Draped in water weed, a rusted out colander, about 20 metres of fishing line still sporting several fish hooks and what looked suspiciously like ....

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dog faeces on a stick, now Gilbert was irate. He told PC Bernard Farmer, 32, that a funny woman named Rosetta, whom he was once a boyfriend to, had unceremoniously pushed him into the dank, wet, rancid water. "Can you tell me sir, how long...

Edited by itsmeagain

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"It took you to decide to get out", It may seem to you a cheap, natural remedy, but to us refined folk, It is a bespoke cultral repast. Now if you'd excuse me, I'll..

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..take down your name and number, and I'll be in touch..nudge nudge wink wink"...@nd with that, the police officer sped away swiftly, leaving Gilbert in a quandary.

Edited by itsmeagain

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However, being in a quandary was nothing new for our Gilbert. He spent much of his time contemplating quandaries. Should he try to inflict revenge on the feckless Rosetta or rather should he pursue ....

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stumped. However, first things first, he told himself, he needed to get out of these wet, stinky clothes before he caught pneumonia or the Black Plague or something worse. So throwing caution to the wind, he stripped everything off and was just in the process of draping himself with a large black rubbish bag he'd hoiked out of a nearby skip, when ...

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a huge gust of wind caused him to let the wind swipe away the

black bin liner. A passing motorist, Cynthia Slugger, threw him.a large towel, advising him to cover up as she didn't want to be exposed to such a pathetic sight whilst driving.

Gilbert happily draped himself in a pink fluffy towel, declaring the need for vengeance now. He could

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fair go a strong cuppa and a sticky bun first, though! Goosebumps were sprouting goosebumps like mountainous terrain and he was nearly shivering his false teeth clean out of his head. He spied a likely looking roadside cafe, so smoothing down the sides of his fluffy pink towel and giving a toss of his head, he pushed open the door. He was greeted to a chorus of wolf whistles and cat-calls. He'd just entered a ....

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