poppy Posted September 27, 2016 Author Share Posted September 27, 2016 and it's curtains!' As chance would have it, just after our intrepid duo set off in different directions to perform their appointed assignments, who should turn up at Annabelle's Undercover Detective Agency, but Gus Despicable himself! Not bothering with any of the usual formalities such as ringing for an appointment, knocking or even a friendly yoohoo, he ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Older Fish Posted September 27, 2016 Share Posted September 27, 2016 ..pushed open the door with his ham fists and barged in to the office, his face burning red. Annabelle gasped, recognizing immediately the face of the man she had sent her team out to hunt for. "Who is the proprietor of this establishment?" demanded Gus, in his rough voice. To her surprise, Annabelle found that voice very... sexy. She had always been partial to men with authoritative voices. Harriet let out a meek squeal and pointed at Annabelle. Gus' glaring eyes focused on her like a pair of burning search lights. Annabelle stood behind the heavy oak desk, discreetly trying to work her hand under the hem of her skirt to reach the tiny Derringer concealed in her knickers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 27, 2016 Author Share Posted September 27, 2016 Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Annabelle, her knicker elastic had given way with the extra strain and the Derringer had slipped to parts unknown. She silently cursed her economy drive which lead her to buy parallel import Heidi Klum undies. She gingerly felt around the floor with her foot, catching her big toe in the trigger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 27, 2016 Share Posted September 27, 2016 There was a sudden..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Older Fish Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 (edited) bang, as Gus' fist slammed on to the desk. "What I want to know is why you have opened this establishment in my neighborhood, and haven't had the courtesy to even pay me a visit?" "W...what? We are supposed to..to pay you a visit?" stammered Annabelle, surprised by the turn the conversation was taking. So Gus was not on to them at all. He simply wanted protection money most likely. Gus' lecherous glance traveled up and down over Annabelle's shapely body. "Well, maybe just you then. That bird over there can mind the shop for you, can't she? Doesn't look like you have a lot of customers anyway." "Erm... well, for sure," replied Annabelle. At that moment, without prior warning, the cheap elastic of the fake Heidi Klum undies (produced in the best of Chinese sweatshops by skilled 11 year old hands, and with the waist band proudly stating "Hedi Klump"), gave way completely, and the undies, with a soft rustling of fabric, came to rest at her ankles. Edited September 28, 2016 by Older Fish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 28, 2016 Author Share Posted September 28, 2016 Gus let out a great guffaw, 'Struth woman! You ARE keen, aren't you!! Get yourself over to mine,' and he gave her a hearty slap on the bum. Tripping over the capricious and totally fickle knickers round her ankles, she accidentally kicked the errant pistol into the middle of the room. It lay spinning noisily on the lino floor. They both stared, tranfixed by ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 (edited) the beauty of Annabelle's choice of lingerie. The gun went off. A loud crash and a hole in the ceiling, a small pile of plaster on the floor and screams from the cleaning lady Mildred..... Edited September 29, 2016 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Older Fish Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 (edited) ...the lazily spinning polished silver object - so dainty, yet so deadly. A frown creased Gus' brow as he bent over and picked it up. "Now what do we have here?" exclaimed Gus, admiring the sleek, minute weapon of death, designed to fire a single bullet. "A wee toy for a wee woman isn't it? Well, let me show you what boys play with." He put the Derringer in his pants pocket, slid his hand inside his jacket and pulled out a nasty looking Heckler & Koch automatic pistol. With one sweep, he aimed it squarely at Harriet, who let out a squeal and melted against the wall. "Now, I think it's time you came clean, you little vixen. Or that bird over there gets it," announced Gus in a low, menacing growl. Edited September 29, 2016 by Older Fish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 ' What do you mean you two bit unwashed football thug relic of the 1970s' asked Harriet, firing from the hip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 29, 2016 Author Share Posted September 29, 2016 (edited) 'No-one calls me a bird and gets away with it!!' and she neatly cut his silhouette out on the wall behind him with her Uzi. Gus threw his hands in the air in shock and surprise. 'Keep 'em there and drop your pistol! Kick it across the floor,' demanded Harriet. 'Wat's all the shenanagins and goings-on down 'ere, you lot? Can't a law-abidin' body do 'er cleanin' wivout the livin' daylights been frighted outta 'er? Mildred had come to investigate. Edited September 30, 2016 by poppy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 (edited) 'I don't appreciate semi nudity of any type' , declared a red cheeked Mildred.' Shameful..women dropping knickers at the drop of a hat..greasy men hoping to seduce...my husband Wilfy would turn in his grave.' A minute later Mildred took a few secret photos through the window using an old camera . She went to the locker room and telephoned The weekly Slum, a greed obsessed..... Edited September 29, 2016 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Older Fish Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 ...rag that publishes local gossip and scandals. In the meanwhile, a stunned Gus Despicable held his hands rigidly over his head, while Annabelle sneezed uncontrollably at the cordite smoke. Harriet bent down and picked up the pistol, discarding the Uzi with the empty magazine in favor of the new weapon. "Now, return the pistol you took from the lady, if you please," demanded Harriet. His face burning bright red, Gus removed the gun by the barrel and carefully placed it on the table. "Alright now, about face and march out of here," Harriet commanded. "If you ever dare show your face in here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted September 30, 2016 Author Share Posted September 30, 2016 again, I won't be bothering with shooting around you, it'll be one between the ...' 'No, NO!! Don't let him go! Here, handcuff him with these while I ring the police. Don't forget there's a reward out for his capture.' Annabelle threw a pair of handcuffs at Harriet and dialed 999. 'PC Dibble please, it's an emergency.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Older Fish Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 (edited) Police Constable Winifried "Winnie" Dibble esq was having a bad day. First, when he had picked up his uniform shirt from the Sum Ting Rong Chinese Laundry, there was a penny sized hole in the front pocket. When he complained, it had escalated to a heated argument in polite English interspersed with choice Hokkien swear words. In the end the proprietor had thrown at him a loud Hawaiian shirt two sizes too big as compensation and refused to talk to him anymore. Then, at lunch, he found his favorite chip shop shuttered. Instead he had to eat at the ghastly McDonalds next door, where the pesky ketchup tube had burst open under his strong copper hands, splattering the shirt with a red streak that coincidentally, ran down from that penny sized hole. And now, to add insult to injury, someone had misplaced the Fleetwood Mac vinyl record where he had carefully damaged the grooves so that it would keep playing "Sweet little lies" over an over again for hours in the interrogation room, as a "softening process" (it wouldn't do to label it torture, now would it) for the perps he interviewed there. And the phone rang. Edited September 30, 2016 by Older Fish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted October 1, 2016 Author Share Posted October 1, 2016 It wasn't about to improve any time soon. 'Annabelle here, Annabelle Chiffon. We've managed to capture your most wanted criminal, we have him here in handcuffs. The one with the reward on his head. Could you please send round a squad car immediately?' 'Annabelle who??? You've nabbed Manny 'The Manaic' Mortimer??' 'Annabelle Chiffon, you remember! You came to our assistance recently when we got rear-ended by this idiot ... Gus Despicable!' 'Oh him, is that all. And what was the idea of giving me some slimey scammer's phone number instead of yours? I've a good mind to ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Older Fish Posted October 1, 2016 Share Posted October 1, 2016 (edited) ...come over and arrest you for giving incorrect information to the police." "Oh, is that so, PC Dibble? So you were calling me for official purposes then, I assume. What was the call about?" PC Dibble blushed a deep red, and stammered, "umm..I.. It....Umm... Doesn't matter. Gus Despicable, you said? Alright, what's the address then?" The police car screeched to a halt in front of Annabelle's Detective Agency in scant minutes. The first thing that PC Dibble noticed was the man-shaped splatter of bullet holes on the cheap, plasterboard wall. Suspecting the worst, the intrepid constable avoided the front door, and ran instead head first in to the man shaped profile on the wall. The constable burst in through the wall issuing a blood curdling yell, ready to tear the perp limb from limb. The gun went off in startled Harriet's hands at the same moment as Dibble slipped on a piece of plasterboard and fell backwards, hitting his head and knocking himself out. Gus took one look at the cop, lying on the floor in his ketchup stained shirt, and sprinted out through the hole in the wall and kept on running. "You shot him," exclaimed ... Edited October 1, 2016 by Older Fish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Annabelle. ' No that's tomato sauce even I can see that' declared Harriet. Ten minutes later, smelling salts and ambulance at hand, Dibble awoke. 'Annabelle..you gave me the number of Cyril Bauble. And I thought... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 you cared. I thought you loved me, I thought we had a future together,' and he began to sob uncontrollably. Obviously the knock on his head had temporarily (we hope) impaired his reason. Before Annabelle could correct any misapprehensions he had, in burst a reporter and photographer from the Daily Slime. 'We just passed a handcuffed man running as if ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 (edited) he had been invited to meet Mr Cameron. Names and addresses of the lot of you please." " Annabelle Chiffon I am manager of the Don't Peep detective agency. Here are Edited October 3, 2016 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 a list of rules for my premises. Number one. No press admitted without prior appointment. I don't know where you get off barging in here demanding everyone's names and addresses, but let me make it perfectly clear ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Older Fish Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 ...that we don't tolerate that kind of intrusion, and..." Before she could finish, the reporter spotted PC Dibble, still lying on the ground, his hands clutching his chest (while he had been pouring his heart out to Annabelle) with the red stain showing through. "You shot a police officer!?" the clickety clack of the camera started even before Harriett could stammer out an answer. "Get it all on film, Jenkins, while I call the editor to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 personally put his name to this great story." Annabelle picked up a 2 litre jug, filled it with cold water in the kitchen, and emptied a litre apiece over the heads of the two insensible reporters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Harriet grabbed the camera, swiftly removed the film and threw the camera back at the photographer. It hit the floor with a splintering sound and several bits flew off. 'You can't do that, ruining personal property, I'll be reporting you to the cops!' 'We've one right here,' said Harriet pointing to the prostate Winnie, 'Isn't that so PC Dibble?' Dibble tried uncrossing his eyes to focus and attempted to get up. 'PC Dibble, at your service, sir,' said Dibble, still confused by the bump to his head. 'How can I ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 assist..oh dear madam ...I wonder do you like cheese? I throw a spiffing wine and cheese evening in Haringey..Tuesday night see you there..free entry..merry exit", he said, holding his hand out to Harriet. "In addition I know a brasserie called Danone the One and I do recommend it. Cheesy pizza..is that your scene..Hilary?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 assist..oh dear madam ...I wonder do you like cheese? I throw a spiffing wine and cheese evening in Haringey..Tuesday night see you there..free entry..merry exit", he said, holding his hand out to Harriet. "In addition I know a brasserie called Danone the One and I do recommend it. Cheesy pizza..is that your scene..Hilary?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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