Lesser Books

[Vladd]

I don't know if this has been done here before but it was on twitter a while back and I thought it might go down well here.

Lesser Book, titles that didn't quite make it.

 

C S Lewis The cub, the Goth and the bedside table

John Steinbeck The raisins of Mild Annoyance

 

and so on

[Pixie]

Ken Follett - The Poles of the Dirt

[Chrissy]

JK Rowling ~

Larry Spotter & The Thinker's Pebble,

Larry Spotter & The Dingy Room Of Well Known Stuff,

Larry Spotter & The Somewhat Hindered Visitor From An Island,

Larry Spotter & The Mug Of Tepid Stuff,

Larry Spotter & The Bird Club,

Larry Spotter & The Haematologically Challenged Minor Royal

Larry Spotter & The Looking Rather Pale Old Things.

[Kell]

Stuart Macbride:

Chilly Hard Grey Stone (Cold Granite)

Cut Epidermis (Broken Skin)

Fading Illumination (Dying Light)

Meat Abode (Flesh House)

Sightless Optical Organ (Blind Eye)

 

Kelley Armstrong:

Nibbled (Bitten)

Misappropriated (Stolen)

Cheap Tricks* (Dime Store Magic)

Business Illusions (Industrial Magic)

Spooked (Haunted)

Non-People Included (No Humans Involved)

Intimate Imp (Personal Demon)

Co-habiting With Corpses* (Living With The Dead)

Ice Chomped (Frost Bitten)

Raising The Hag (Waking The Witch)

 

* I think I like these ones best - LOL!

[poppy]

Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyers

 

Blown Bulb (Twilight)

 

Don't Look Now!!! (Eclipse)

 

Pull Up Your Pants (New Moon)

 

Dawnbreaker (Breaking Dawn)

[Echo]

The Short Person with Hairy Feet by J.R.R. Tolkien (The Hobbit)

 

The Guy Who Rules Over Jewelry by J.R.R. Tolkien (The Lord of the Rings)

 

Short Chicks by Louisa May Alcott (Little Women)

 

Mrs. Chatterley's Boy Toy by D.H. Lawrence

[Chrissy]

Stieg Larsson ~

The Young Female Bearing Oriental Markings Of Mythical Beasts (The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo)

 

The Young Female That Ended Up With Scorched Fingers (The Girl Who Played With Fire)

 

The Young Female That Assaulted The Home Of A Flying Insect Collective (The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest)

 

Stephen Fry ~

The Seed Of Father, Or A Mountainous Strip Of Land In Jordan Is Owned By The Author And Used As A Basin. (Moab Is My Washpot)

 

 

[ian]

Love this thread!

 

Windy Hill - Emily Bronte (Wuthering Heights)

To injure a sparrow - Harper Lee (To kill a Mockingbird)

Private Corelli's comb & paper - Louis de Bernieres (Captain Corelli's Mandolin)

Charlie and the confectionary distribution warehouse - Roald Dahl

 

 

 

Ian

[Kell]

Simon Scarrow's "Romans" Series:

Beneath the Big Bird (Under the Eagle)

The Big Bird's Victory (The Eagle's Conquest)

While the Big Bird Looks for Food (When he Eagle Hunts)

The Big Bird's Quarry (The Eagle's Prey)

The Big Bird's Prognostication (The Eagle's Prophecy)

The Big Bird On the Beach (The Eagle In the Sand))

Roman Commander (Centurion)

Prizefighter (Gladiator)

 

Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer:

Arthur Chicken (Artemis Fowl)

The Icy Episode (The Arctic Incident)

The Endless Cypher (The Eternity Code)

The Stone Subterfuge (The Opal Deception)

The Continuence Contradiction (The Time Paradox)

Arthur Chicken and the Utopia Syndrome (Artemis Fowl and the Atlantis Complex)

The Septantarian Small Man (The Seventh Dwarf)

 

Philippa Gregory:

The Alternate Boleyn Daughter (The Other Boleyn Girl)

The Boleyn Bequeathment (The Boleyn Inheritance)

La Monarch Blanch (The White Queen)

La Monarch Rouge (The Red Queen)

The King's Wife's Idiot (The Queen's Fool)

Intimate Associate of the Untouched Woman (The Virgin's Lover)

The Perpetual King's Daughter (The Constant Princess)

The Alternate King's Wife (The Other Queen)

Soil Enjoyment (Earthly Joys)

New Ground (Virgin Earth)

Spacious Piece Of Land (Wideacre)

Preferred Progeny (Favoured Child)

Apex (Meridian/Meridion - I took the alternative spelling - LOL!)

A Befitting Business (A Respectable Trade)

She's Sharp! (Wise Woman)

[Pixie]

Ray Bradbury:

 

Something Not So Nice is Coming This Way (Something Wicked This Way Comes)

Some Stories About Some People That Come From Mars (The Martian Chronicles)

 

Charles Dickens:

 

Mediocre Prospects (Great Expectations)

 

 

 

That's all I can think of for the moment.

[Coffin Nail]

I know why the Budgie Tweets-Maya Angelou

 

Anorak Habits-Irvine Welsh

[Chrissy]

Raymond Chadler

The Somewhat Large Doze (The Big Sleep)

Goodbye Pretty One Possessed By Me (Farewell My Lovely)

The Overextended Parting Comment (The Long Goodbye)

 

Phillip Pullman

Illuminations From A Cold Region ( Norhern Lights)

The Considered & Elusive Sharp Implement (The Subtle Knife)

The Telescope Made Of Tree Resin (The Amber Spyglass)

[chesilbeach]

Marcus Zusak - The Pamphlet Pincher (The Book Thief)

Helen Fielding - Aled Jones's Filofax (Bridget Jones's Diary)

Tracy Chevalier - Girl With A Pearl Jam Keyring (Girl With A Pearl Earring)

Ian Fleming - The Cubic Zirconium Is For Next Tuesday (Diamonds Are Forever)

Edited August 5, 2010 by chesilbeach

[Chrissy]

Departed At The Same Time As A Flatulent Episode Occured (Gone WIth The Wind by Margaret Mitchell)

 

Allow The Correct Perosnage To Enter (Let The Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist)

 

The Not Sitting (The Stand by Stephen King)

[Raven]

Bathroom Lights, by Philip Pullman

 

Romford Fields, by Martin Amis

 

Name of the Daisy, by Umberto Eco

 

Captain Corelli's Banjo, by Louis de Bernières

[pickle]

A Killing on the Eastern Fast Train - Agatha Christie

[Pixie]

Mild Cough - Chuck Palahniuk

 

A Picture of the Plumber as an Old Codger - James Joyce

Edited August 6, 2010 by Pixie

[poppy]

The Not Sitting (The Stand by Stephen King)

 

 

You are particularly good at these Chrissy

 

I was thinking of 'Perpindicular Position' for 'The Stand'

[Chrissy]

Mild Affection At The Moment That Sickness Arrives (Love In The Time Of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

 

 

Val McDermid's Tony Hill Series

 

Wet People Making Melodic Noise (The Mermaids Singing)

Metallic Splinter Held In Plasma Stuff (Wire In The Blood)

The Middle Occasion Of Slightly Goading Things (The Last Temptation)

The Angst Of People Who Aren't Me (The Torment Of Others)

Beside The Leakage From A Capillary (Beneath The Bleeding)

Hot Temperature Of The Skeleton Part (Fever Of The Bone)

[Raven]

Mediocre Expectations by Charles Dickens (and my last date...)

 

 

 

 

[Chrissy]

There's A Chance That A Chat About Kelvin Would Be Of Benefit (We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver)

 

Aide Memoirs Regarding A Diminuative Landmass (Notes From A Small Island By Bill Bryson)

[ladymacbeth]

Seeing as I like Bryce Courtenay, here are a few of his:

 

 

24 Hours for Idiots in April (April Fool's Day)

 

The Poorly Lit Continent (The Night Country)

 

The Kumara Processing Plant (The Potato Factory)

 

Aquatic Male Sibling (Brother Fish)

 

Scooping Up Burning Gas Balls (Fishing for Stars)

[Amesy]

The Brown Inch (The Green Mile - Stephen King

The pigment of trickery (Colour of Magic - Terry Pratchett)

Well Done four two (Bravo Two Zero - Andy MacNab)

[Janet]

Great thread, with some great suggestions!

 

George Orwell

 

Descending and Expired in the capital cities of France and England (Down and Out in Paris and London)

24 hours in the Republic of the Union of Myanmar (Burmese Days)

A Vicar's Female Offspring (A Clergyman's Daughter)

Allow the popular Victorian plant to remain in the Air (Keep the Aspidistra Flying)

The Pathway to a Region of Manchester's Jetty (The Road to Wigan Pier)

Respect to the region of Spain comprising of the four provinces of Barcelona, Girona, Lleida and Tarragona (Homage to Catalonia)

Ascending for Oxygen (Coming Up for Air)

Creature Smallholding (Animal Farm)

Nineteen Seventy-Three (Nineteen Eighty-Four)

 

(I'm not so good at this!)

[Scarlette]

JK Rowling ~

Larry Spotter & The Thinker's Pebble,

Larry Spotter & The Dingy Room Of Well Known Stuff,

Larry Spotter & The Somewhat Hindered Visitor From An Island,

Larry Spotter & The Mug Of Tepid Stuff,

Larry Spotter & The Bird Club,

Larry Spotter & The Haematologically Challenged Minor Royal

Larry Spotter & The Looking Rather Pale Old Things.

 

Am I the only one who actually wish these were real?