Corrupt a Wish

[ned]

Granted, but you spend the whole movie getting your a** kicked by her.

 

 

I know people who would pay good money for that

 

Granted, you go blind

 

I wish i could speak every language in the world

[AbielleRose]

Granted, but in a freak accident your vocal chords get severed leaving you mute for life.

 

I wish there was a good concert playing in town this weekend.

[ned]

Granted, but you get snowed in and can't go

 

I wish i owned 10% of McDonalds

[AbielleRose]

Granted, but they give you all you can eat free food and you gain 500 lbs.

 

I wish I better with witty come backs.

[ned]

Granted, but you can no longer talk seriously with anybody

 

I wish i knew how to brew beer

[AbielleRose]

Granted, but your beer is so potent that one bottle makes you drunker than a skunk.

 

I wish I could get a new tattoo.

[ned]

Granted, but the tattoo artist is drunk and inks a naked lady on you

 

I wish i didn't have a fear of needles

[AbielleRose]

Granted, but you become addicted to tattoos and end up with an entire harem of naked ladies all over your body. Angelina Jolie dosn't think that's sexy and you lose all hope of ever hooking up with her.

 

I wish I could go on a limitless shopping spree.

[ned]

Angelina Jolie dosn't think that's sexy and you lose all hope of ever hooking up with her.

 

If that was the only obstacle in my way i'd be happy

 

Granted, but you end up buying everything there is to buy and become bored

 

I wish i had x ray vision

[AbielleRose]

 

Granted, but you see things that you wish you had never seen and become scarred for life.

 

I wish Sarah Palin would fall off the face of the earth and we would never hear from her again.

[ned]

Granted, but you get charged with her murder and go to prision for life

 

I wish i could control time

[AbielleRose]

Granted, but you end up stuck reliving the most embarressing moment of your life over and over for the rest of eternity.

 

I wish I could see the future.

[ned]

Granted, but you can only see peoples deaths

 

I wish i could fly

[AbielleRose]

Granted, but you fly into the window of a skyscraper.

 

I wish I never had to feel sad or upset ever again.

[ned]

Granted, but people think you are on drugs and are constantly organising interventions

 

I wish i lived by the beach

[AbielleRose]

 

Granted, but your beach is in the Bermuda Triangle and you are constantly having hallucinations and getting lost. Oh, and your only friend is a football named Nike.

 

I wish I never had to go back to work.

[ned]

Granted, but you become so bored sitting at home that you go slowly insane

 

I wish i could play a game for Manchester United

[AbielleRose]

Granted, but you are booed out of the stadium after accidentially scoring a goal for the other team (Liverpool).

 

I wish I could conquer my fear of flying.

[ned]

Now THAT is evil

 

Granted, but you are banned from ever flying again after an unfortunate incident involving 15 miniature vodkas, a sick back and your life jacket

 

I wish i could sail

[AbielleRose]

What a coincidence! That's why they kicked me off last time!

 

Granted, but your mate forgets to say 'jive ho' and you get knocked overboard where you are harassed by very 'friendly' dolphins.

 

I wish I could afford to hire a housekeeper.

[ned]

 

Granted, but she steals from you

 

I wish dolphins were more gentle.......only kidding, i wish i could speed read

[AbielleRose]

 

Granted, but you read every book ever written within a few weeks and are left bored and unfufilled.

 

I wish I could learn to play tennis.

[ned]

Granted, but you become so good that nobody will play a game against you

 

I wish i never had to do housework

[AbielleRose]

Granted, but nobody does it for you and your house ends up looking like a dump.

 

I wish I could stick out my tounge and touch my nose.

[ned]

Granted, but your tongue is now freakishly long

 

I wish i could perform magic tricks