itsmeagain Posted December 2, 2023 Author Share Posted December 2, 2023 some begonias, that's it, purple and yellow, that's what I'll get. Five miles away, Rosie was chatting on messenger to Flora Flaherty , 32, an architect from Streatham, who listed among her loves in life, walking, listening to music, driving, eating cheese and onion crisps, fierce gym workouts, writing letters to the local paper about congestion in the Watford region, travelling to Crete, Paraguay, Antilles, Norway, Sweden, New Zealand, Kuwait, Algeria, Albania, Dar es Salaam and Tokyo, drinking tea, wine, beer, choco milk, green tea, ginger beer, raspberry infused flavoured still water, peach infused fizzy water, watching hurling,rugby, ⚽️ football, tiddlywinks, boxing, and tidying the garden... 'You are a cutie', came the text from Flora.'.wanna meet for a coffee....?... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 2, 2023 Share Posted December 2, 2023 'May I bring a friend?' asked Rosie, who was online savvy enough to not go meeting complete strangers alone. 'Ummmm .... I suppose so,' replied Flora, who sounded none too pleased. 'Oh goodie! Shall we meet at 'Oh, What a Brew-tiful Morning Cafe'? They do a lovely Japanese Cherry tea and my friend loves a good Chai Skinny Latte, low fat, soy milk, sugar free, sweetened with organic honey and topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles.'(yes, Sean I had to go back and copy that 🤣) 'Okayyyy ...' Flora looked a little dazed, 'shall we ... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 3, 2023 Author Share Posted December 3, 2023 . maybe.. [sigh]..your buddy..a he or a she?', came the information request, Rosie imagining the.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 3, 2023 Share Posted December 3, 2023 simply marvellous time they'd all have together, sipping their favourite teas, getting to know each other, chatting about peach infused fizzy water, tiddlywinks and other exciting things. 'Oh, you'll just LOVE Johnny! He's such a sweetie, so kind, so intelligent, he adores kitties ... and Daddy. And...' Rosie giggled, 'quite muscly in all the right places. He doesn't know it yet, dont say anything, but I'm rather smitten with him.' 'Erkkkk,' said Flora, 'he's a MAN! I don't like men. Avoid them at all costs. Nasty smelly creatures!' 'Johnny's not smelly!' Rosie was quite indignant, 'Why he showers every day. And he uses this lovely cologne, it smells like limes with a smidgen of mint and strawberries. I could sniff him all day. You'll adore him!' said Rosie, and with that ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 5, 2023 Author Share Posted December 5, 2023 (edited) , the agreement was that they would all meet up in Shoreditch High Street next Saturday lunchtime. Ignorant of all this, I was looking for colourful begonias and roses for Rosie, and finding the cheaper ones can be a nightmare, you see, Harrods charge a fortune for them and so I went to Cheap Street market, where I got some nicely scented roses for around 3 quid. Happy with myself, I sat on the bus, and my attention was taken by a caterpillar ruffling through the roses. So taken was I by this, I missed three bus stops, and was just arriving home when a gust of wind blew off my hat, which I had to chase down Home Street, and finally .... Edited December 5, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 5, 2023 Share Posted December 5, 2023 brought it to earth on the corner of Twiddle and Twaddle Streets, narrowly avoiding being struck by a young lout on an e-scooter and wrenching my ankle into the bargain. I yelled a few choice words at his retreating back and was rewarded with a one finger salute. I jammed the hat back on my head with a stern warning to STAY! and limped back home, clutching the now rather bedraggled bunch of roses. I handed them to Rosie saying, 'Roses for a lovely rose. Sorry they're a bit worse for wear, I had a spot of bother with the bus and the wind and my hat and an idiot on a scooter.' 'Oh Johnny!' Rosie gasped, 'You ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 5, 2023 Author Share Posted December 5, 2023 (edited) really ought not to have done so..such an effort. made, you are so sweet..', and with that, she planted a sweet kiss on my cheek. 'Oh I just adore roses', she announced, planting them into a milk bottle half full of water, and spraying plant feed in for good measure, ' now. Sooty , you know, the one with his itchy left ear, he has been playing bauble games around the Christmas tree here, and over at the cafe, Midge has been eating so much she's put on a gram since yesterday. Daddy says hello and was asking me a rather odd question..dear Johnny, can you decipher what he meant..?..he said..' any succes yet..? ..or have you been jumping up and down the day after, in the morning..?' Gulping inwardly, I offered, ' after what..? I don't really.. Edited December 5, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 5, 2023 Share Posted December 5, 2023 know what he's talking about.' 'I don't know either,' Rosie shrugged, 'I'll ask him when I see him next.' 'Talking of seeing him next, where has Daddy been lately? He hasn't been round for days.' 'He's sadly developed an allergy to cat fur, so he's keeping away.' I suppressed a yippee and hallelujah and tried not to show it. The day just kept getting better. 'Rosie,' I asked, taking a deep breath and throwing caution to the wind, 'would you possibly consider ... sometime in the future ... is there any chance you would ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 5, 2023 Author Share Posted December 5, 2023 ..let me..ahem...hold you in my arms and ...offer you a real kiss..I mean you are wondrously and divinely scrumptious Not remotely unctuous Eyes not bulbous Hair is really luscious Not wishing to be devious That would be atrocious Not wishing to be lecherous But you girl, are gorgeous. Give my life a purpose Let's just be adventurous..' Rosie evidently thought I was a singer..' a rap artist..oooh how utterly divine!!' , she squealed,... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 I just lurrrve wrappers! I listen to 6 Pack and M&Ms and Ice Block in my room, but Daddy always makes me turn it down. He only likes music like Wagner, Shostakovich and Prokofiev. I like them too, but wrappers are such a nice change.' 'Okayyyy... Anyway ...what did you think about my lyrics? I wrote them just for you.' 'Oh, I think they're simply super, Johnny. Wizard, in fact!' She just wasn't ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 6, 2023 Author Share Posted December 6, 2023 (edited) getting it at all, and to cap it all off, she regaled me with Flora Flaherty, architect, who loves fizzy water, and dislikes men..' But you'll be OK Johnny as I did say you're totally charming.' For once , I needed time to think. I went over to see how the cafe , cattery, bookshop type venture was going. 'Well the cafe isn't open yet', said a bloke I didn't recognise, hirsute, tattoos, Edited December 6, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 multiple facial piercings and disgustingly muscle-bound. 'Hey, human pin cushion, who are you?' I asked. 'Who's askin'?' 'One of your employers, matey, so I'd smarten up me ideas if I was you.' 'Lil lady 'ired me, I answer t' 'er, nobody else, see!' 'We'll certainly SEE about that!' I stormed off to find Rosie. I was beginning to think Rosie was attracted to a certain type, someone diametrically opposed to herself and her sheltered upbringing. A bit of rough. Did I ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 7, 2023 Author Share Posted December 7, 2023 (edited) have it within my book loving, once poverty stricken, weedy shouldered, reclusive, dormant self, to feign machodom or whatever these muppets would call it. ?..was I able to engineer jealousy free running of the cafe, get on moderate terms with these bearded hunks of hers as a way in..? 'Noims Mark, moit..speciality todoi is..vegan 'am n chayze on balsamic toast, garnish of Dijon yellow and pickled gherkins..an' cos you're 'er feller, it's on the aahse moit',declared Mark, so what was it with her papa thinking we were doing the horizontsl mazurka and without hideous rubber interferences nor (obviously), toxic pills..and this crud saying I'm ' her gayzer, moit'. Whose bloke?..', I enquired. 'Rowzie, moit, oi mean, oi'd lav a go wiv er if you're not keen , bat oi guessed you lav 'er..aah cowzy', he declared, a mischievous smirk... Edited December 7, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 8, 2023 Share Posted December 8, 2023 'Too right! You keep your grubby little hands off her. She's mine! And you can tell your mates the same. I'm like 'this' with her Daddy and one word from me and ...' I hadn't heard Rosie coming up behind me, she'd heard every word. 'Is it true, Johnny? Am I really truly yours?' She was looking at me with ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 8, 2023 Author Share Posted December 8, 2023 (edited) real pleading in her eyes, a look of hope. 'Oh my dear..at last you know where your bread is buttered..right here', and at that, she threw herself at me, her scented hair cascading all over me. 'See, oi told yer e lavs er..be a wedding soon mark moi words', said Mark, as a couple of suited officials, one male, one female, entered, coughing in order to split our oh so adorable embrace. 'Peter Dartboard, Landan City Caancil..Sir, are you vee owner of this ere cattery'?, asked Mr Dartboard. The woman was 'Audrey Grimbutt, head of cattery compliance at London Council..pleased to meet you..do you have a few minutes to check in as regards regulatory conditions and requirements for a cattery..?' Two hours later, myself, Rosie, Mr Dartboard, and Ms Grimbutt, were all yawning loudly as we sought answers to the question, ' does your cat cafe have less than ten iso particles of surface dust..?..' In order to .... Edited December 8, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 9, 2023 Share Posted December 9, 2023 (edited) ascertain the level of particulate matter, a large alarming looking monitor was wheeled in. Ms Grimbutt donned a pair of airmuffs, plugged in the machine and a loud high pitched humming ensued. While she was thus engaged, Mr Dartboard whipped out his retractable measuring tape and started calculating square meterage per cat ratios. Rosie and I were mostly unaware of all this, and frankly didn't give a flying fudge monkey, we were too busy gazing adorably into each others eyes. However, after several hours( so much for a few minutes of our time!), Messrs Grimbutt and Dartboard had reached their conclusions. Our cat cafe was ... Edited December 9, 2023 by poppy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 9, 2023 Author Share Posted December 9, 2023 definitely fit for purpose, clean and tidy. Oh and a loving night of celebration ensued with the lovely Rosie and I, she is too cute, too sizzling, by half. So, next day, daddy turned up whilst Rosie paddled about in her king-sized . 'baarth', and ' ohh, any success yet?', was the ask. 'Success..?..' ' My man , is she going to drop me a grandchild, a chip.off the old block..or not..at 27 she's rootless and unattached.. I don't.. ' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 10, 2023 Share Posted December 10, 2023 approve of children born out of wedlock, of course. But there's nothing to stop an immediate marriage, I trust, now that you're united in both business and passion. I'd like to think there were little Flowers to carry on the family name after I'm gone and inherit my not inconsiderable fortune.' 'Ohhh Daddy, you'll be around for years yet! There's plenty of time for you to enjoy the pitty pitty patter of little biddy feet, and watch our little munchkins grow.' I'd be quite happy for him to pop his clogs immediately but that wasn't my biggest present concern. I hadn't actually told Rosie that I was married and ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 10, 2023 Author Share Posted December 10, 2023 (edited) , frankly, thinking of being saddled with Rosie brought me out in a cold sweat. I mean, if Clothilde tracked me down, I'd be in a truly bad mess, and how was I to inform Rosie of Clothilde. Time healeth all things, thought I, then said 'Major, being a bloke of impeccable standards, I ought not deign to feign acceptance of my current standing..as a matter of courtesy to Rosie, I have a cat fortune to make before even thinking of tying the knot of permanent bonda.. err, wedlock, until such a day as I am a millionaire..now if you, kind sir... Edited December 10, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 will temporarily kerb your enthusiasm for sprogs ... I mean progeny, I will do my best to acquire the readies to keep your daughter in the manner to which she is accustomed ( and in the manner I wish I was accustomed!)' I muttered under my breath. The Major seemed slightly mollified but said I'd better festina lente, which sounded like he wanted me to fester plenty, but I pretended not to hear. I decided, to be on the safe side, it wouldn't hurt to ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 11, 2023 Author Share Posted December 11, 2023 (edited) show intent. 'Now. These demi tasse Earl Grey things..how are they selling, Rosie?', I asked, feigning business acumen and a keenness of interest I frankly never wanted, let alone ever had. 'Oh they're wonderful sellers, my dear', she said, reminding me of Cathy in Kate Bush' classic song, such desperate urgency to succeed in romance. 'Hot in here, is it?', enquired Major Flowrrs , his monocle keeping on slipping as he scrutinised me. 'Not parti...', Blessed relief entered the fray as Rosie's mobile rang. It was Flora. ' Thanks sooo much for filling in my social calendar',chimed Rosie, as Flora reminded her of our cafe meet tomorrow. 'Why don't you come to our cafe?', asked Rosie, ... Edited December 11, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 12, 2023 Share Posted December 12, 2023 and you can meet my sweetie.' 'Errkkk,' said Flora which Rosie took to be acquiescence. 'See you at 11 a.m then,' said Rosie, 'Can't wait to meet you!' and she hung up. 'Well, I better crack on,' I headed for the office to get away from Daddy. I'd decided, as reluctant as I was about the whole thing, to contact Clothilde and see how our marital status stood. Perhaps she ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 13, 2023 Author Share Posted December 13, 2023 (edited) could offer some much required relationship advice..I had heard via an email from her buddy Jurgen Fast, that Clothilde was running 🏃♀️ chilled out workshops, engaged in the lucrative business of 'Relationship chaos and you: you aren't the Problem', which , frankly, sounded like totally psychobabble bull..surely somebody must be ' to blame' or what's going on?..and I know she's been gallivanting with Barnival Ballcamp, 34, a Dr from Morpeth, whose best points were his brass and his brains..oh well, I had better get ready for the arrival of Flora tomorrow. Into Morrisons I strolled, bought a tub of Flora, and thought of the fun I would have at her expense tomorrow. But.... Edited December 13, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 putting that pleasure aside for the moment, I bit the proverbial bullet, or in this case more like a stick of jelly, and phoned Clothilde. 'Hi Clothilde,' I said, 'I'm just ringing to enquire how you feel about dissolving our marital partnership and splitting the spoils, so to speak.' 'Get knotted,' was the reply and she hung up. If it hadn't been a mobile she would have slammed it, I'm sure. So much for ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted December 14, 2023 Author Share Posted December 14, 2023 (edited) 'you aren't to blame for relationships that go wrong.' So, on to tomorrow and preparation for Flora . 🥱 😫 The next morning, Rosie informed me that our special lunch of the day was cauliflower curry with basmati or chips, ' or if you're hungry, both.' 'Does Flora like cauliflower?' 'Well we'll soon find out', said Rosie, tearing at the cauliflowers, 6 of them, on her chopping board, bits of cauliflower hurtling all over as she did so. 'Flora is a bit wary of the male of our species, Johnny..do.... Edited December 14, 2023 by itsmeagain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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