Frankie reads 2013

[Ruth]

Frankie, you are such a gem . I really enjoy reading this thread, even if I don't always remember to comment. I remember when I was in my 30s, and DREADING turning 40 - and like Marie said, it came and....nothing bad happened. I don't worry quite so much these days, but sometimes I do think surely it was only a couple of years ago that I was in my mid- 20s!!

Edited December 5, 2013 by Ruth

[pontalba]

LOL Ruth.  My 30th, 40th birthdays didn't bother me a bit.  It wasn't till I hit 50, plus that was when I started showing my age more.  I looked the same from about 16 to 40.  It was nice, but was annoying at times.  Especially when I was asked for ID to go into a place.  heh  But when I hit 60, I said, what the hell?  This is a breeze! 

 

It was only a few years ago!  No kidding!

[frankie]

It's ground up into teeny shredded bits and goes down the drain.

 

Oh! That I did not know... I guess I really didn't think where it all would go, before now.. I guess I thought there was some kind of neat bio-garbage shoot to a biogradable bag somewhere, which people would then take out to some place...

 

Some people have a trash compactor...that's what you're talking about I think, not a garbage disposal.  Different things.

The compactors have bags made to fit it, and something inside squishes it waaaaay down, supposed to save room at the dump, or in your garbage can, I suppose.

 

I took out the book and checked where I got my info from, and it's an entry for 'garbage disposal'. Oh!! It DID say that it's all going to the sewer system... How did I not get that?! I guess I was only mesmerized by the fact about these things not being allowed in Finland.

 

Bloody hell, I read it, and forgot about it

 

 

Frankie, you are such a gem . I really enjoy reading this thread, even if I don't always remember to comment. I remember when I was in my 30s, and DREADING turning 40 - and like Marie said, it came and....nothing bad happened. I don't worry quite so much these days, but sometimes I do think surely it was only a couple of years ago that I was in my mid- 20s!!

 

Oh why thank you Ruth I guess there hasn't been that much to comment on, me having read not quite as many books as I would've liked this year... And I've had quite a few re-reads, and I decided ages ago I wouldn't write reviews on those...

 

Age is a funny thing... When I was a teen, I always thought I would have a degree, a man, and a kid by the time I was 25.

 

I was 25 almost 7 years ago... And I don't have any of those things I wouldn't say I like my life, at the moment, but I like myself, and that's something

 

And I've now taken some steps to take my life to a place where I want it to be.. I've applied for a council flat in Lahti, which is a city where I can study to become a librarian... And initially I applied for a few parts of the city, only, because I didn't know where to start... But I've had a talk with a few friends tonight and have made some additions to my applications.

 

Now, everybody, keep your fingers crossed, please!

 

I think I will dread turning 40... But then again, when I was 10 years younger, 21, I thought I was soooo far away from turning 30... It was like a time and age that didn't concern me, personally... I now know better

 

LOL Ruth.  My 30th, 40th birthdays didn't bother me a bit.  It wasn't till I hit 50, plus that was when I started showing my age more.  I looked the same from about 16 to 40.  It was nice, but was annoying at times.  Especially when I was asked for ID to go into a place.  heh  But when I hit 60, I said, what the hell?  This is a breeze! 

 

It was only a few years ago!  No kidding!

 

I got carded earlier this week, and I thought, seriously? Do you think I look so young?! Unfortunately, they don't card people who look younger than 18... the law or whatever says they have to card anyone who they think looks younger than 30 The limit used to be 25, so getting carded at that time was more pleasant, because that would mean they thought I was 6 years younger than I am. But now that they've changed it to 30, they will only think I'm 1-2 years younger than I am. So it was no great victory

 

Edit: pontalba, I'm proud to say that your name will go on my American dictionary... I will add the word 'trash compactor' next to the entry of garbage disposal!

 

Edited December 5, 2013 by frankie

[pontalba]

_{Ah, well, I was carded back in the "old days".  heh}   

 

_{It was funny, because the girl I was with was younger than I was, and she wasn't!  /giggle/}

 

 

_{Edit: pontalba, I'm proud to say that your name will go on my American dictionary... I will add the word 'trash compactor' next to the entry of garbage disposal!}

 

 

Edited December 6, 2013 by pontalba

[frankie]

_{Ah, well, I was carded back in the "old days".  heh}   

 

_{Another phrase I learned from American TV-series, and not school: to be carded}

 

I tell you, I learned so much from TV when I was a kid... It's amazing! And not only did I learn some of the vocabulary, but I learned the pronunciation... When I did my pronunciation test and went to my prof to get my results, he asked me if I'd been abroad... I told him no, it was all television

 

 

 

_{It was funny, because the girl I was with was younger than I was, and she wasn't!  /giggle/}

 

 

 

 

 

Smackdown!

[Athena]

Great review, the book sounds interesting! It's always a pleasure reading your thread Frankie, I learned some new things today !

[Ruth]

LOL Ruth.  My 30th, 40th birthdays didn't bother me a bit.  It wasn't till I hit 50, plus that was when I started showing my age more.  I looked the same from about 16 to 40.  It was nice, but was annoying at times.  Especially when I was asked for ID to go into a place.  heh  But when I hit 60, I said, what the hell?  This is a breeze! 

 

It was only a few years ago!  No kidding!

 

It's funny; I spent most of the my teenage years trying to look older than I was, and most of the years since hoping I look a bit younger (but in truth, I don't really worry about it now.  Life is for living, and there is no way I would have my face all sliced up or botoxed just to look a few years younger).

[Janet]

I just randomly looked on Google and it would take me 37 hours to drive from my house to yours!    

[julie]

Frankie

 I'm so excited for you to get your own place and enrolled in school to become a librarian. I can't think of a better person for that job !

 

As for ages, it's no big deal really . My hardest age was 30 ,for some strange reason. I think because as long as I was in my 20's, I still thought it sounded young, but 30 made me feel like NOW, You're A Grownup " ...

Weird, I was married at 19 and had all our kids half grown by the time I was 30 .

 

Don't put too much pressure on yourself as far as what to have accomplished at what age. I had a nurse last week who just turned 24 ,has no boyfriend or interest in finding one. She said her mom keeps after her about it all the time, but she is so happy with her life right now, she is completely content.

 So, I don't think you HAVE to have a partner in your life to be happy and fulfilled . If you're meant to, someone will stumble in when you're least expecting it .  

[frankie]

Great review, the book sounds interesting! It's always a pleasure reading your thread Frankie, I learned some new things today !

 

Thanks Athena, it is indeed a very interesting book They might have something similar in Dutch...

 

I just randomly looked on Google and it would take me 37 hours to drive from my house to yours!    

 

Okay, so shall I expect you on my door in 37 hours? What's the route of choice? How would you get to Norway by car? Is it a submarinic car?

 

 

Frankie

 I'm so excited for you to get your own place and enrolled in school to become a librarian. I can't think of a better person for that job !

 

Well I've only just applied for the apartment, I'm sure it's going to take a few months before I hear from the city of Lahti And I haven't actually applied to a school yet, I'm only just looking into it... But thank you I don't usually like to toot my own horn, but when it comes to libraries, I do think that I would make a decent librarian.

 

 

As for ages, it's no big deal really . My hardest age was 30 ,for some strange reason. I think because as long as I was in my 20's, I still thought it sounded young, but 30 made me feel like NOW, You're A Grownup " ...

Weird, I was married at 19 and had all our kids half grown by the time I was 30 .

 

I think it's normal to sometimes worry about one's age (and maybe not even one's age, but where one is at in their life). People have different crises in different stages of their lives... If I had a permanent job I probably wouldn't feel so disoriented and anxious about turning 33 (I mean 32!) I think it's natural for me to feel a bit anxious because I'm over 30, haven't graduated yet, don't have a job, and don't have a partner (I mean at least one of these things). It doesn't mean that I feel I'm lesser of a person. And this is a transitional stage for me anyways, because I'm going to move to a whole other city, that is in a whole other part of Finland. I'm de-rooting myself, so it's bound to be a bit nerve wrecking.

 

Don't put too much pressure on yourself as far as what to have accomplished at what age. I had a nurse last week who just turned 24 ,has no boyfriend or interest in finding one. She said her mom keeps after her about it all the time, but she is so happy with her life right now, she is completely content.

 So, I don't think you HAVE to have a partner in your life to be happy and fulfilled . If you're meant to, someone will stumble in when you're least expecting it .  

 

I did say that when I was younger, I expected to have a degree, job, a hubby and possibly even kids by the time I was 25. But that doesn't mean that I'm now incredibly upset that I don't. I think in general teenagers have unrealistic ideas about what life ought to be like at a more later stage in their lives, but I think it's only normal to think about what one's life might be like.

 

I don't think I ever said that I have to have a partner to feel happy and fulfilled... Just yesterday I was talking about this with a pal who came to visit and told her I'd much rather be alone than in a relationship with a dud, just for the sake of having a relationship.

 

Edited December 7, 2013 by frankie

[pontalba]

It's funny; I spent most of the my teenage years trying to look older than I was, and most of the years since hoping I look a bit younger (but in truth, I don't really worry about it now.  Life is for living, and there is no way I would have my face all sliced up or botoxed just to look a few years younger).

 

Errgggg!  The very idea gives me the heebe jeebies!

 

frankie said: I don't think I ever said that I have to have a partner to feel happy and fulfilled... Just yesterday I was talking about this with a pal who came to visit and told her I'd much rather be alone than in a relationship with a dud, just for the sake of having a relationship.

 

Imprint this ^^ upon all of your memory circuits!  In Bold Italics!  Underlined!

 

Remember it when you have the vaguest inclination to "settle", or think; if you can just change this or that about a prospective date/partner/mate.....PEOPLE DON'T FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGE! 

 

/phew/ Rant over.

Edited December 7, 2013 by pontalba

[frankie]

Errgggg!  The very idea gives me the heebe jeebies!

 

Oh, heebe jeebies, I love that expression! :D I haven't heard that in ages... It reminds me of this other thing... Oh yes, it was hubba hubba by Little Pixie, in your thread, I believe Haha!

 

Imprint this ^^ upon all of your memory circuits!  In Bold Italics!  Underlined!

 

Remember it when you have the vaguest inclination to "settle", or think; if you can just change this or that about a prospective date/partner/mate.....PEOPLE DON'T FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGE! 

 

Don't worry. I have no inclination of settling. I have a few standards.. And I like to think they are reasonable standards. (Like, sense of humour, liking dogs, not being an alcoholic, not wanting to beat anyone up, etc.). But I do realise that I have to make compromises, too. I can't have everything I want. Like, if he doesn't read books. I think I will be able to look past that. If he is awesome in other ways

 

Oh. And I do wish he was optimistic, and curious about life. I don't like too much cynicism. And I don't like besserwisserism. No thank you.

 

Edit: Oh and you know what I hate? When people dismiss other people's feelings. Be they good or bad. I hate it if I tell someone great news, and they are like whatever. And if I tell someone I'm upset, and they are like 'what have you got to worry about'. And I also hate it if people are happy if something bad has happened.. I hate it when they are all like, 'that's life, that will always happen to you, you should never expect anything great to happen, and it's good that you've now learned it, finally'. F off, will you

Edited December 7, 2013 by frankie

[chaliepud]

When I was in my teens I made a pact with my best friend that we would never have children and be best friends forever and that I wanted to be a Vet.  I didn't work hard enough at school and to be honest didn't turn up as often as I should! My best friend worked hard, went to Uni and became a nurse, we lost touch as we became different people. I did a care course at college and did a fair assortment of jobs but nothing like I would have loved to do. I met Steve when I was 27 ish and within a year or so I was pregnant with Charlie (planned) and had 2 dogs (Honey and Dylan)!  Life rarely goes the way we think when we are teens and if I am honest I am not especially happy with my life at the mo, lots of my friends work, and whilst they complain about how little time they have they are at least fulfilled in that sense. Steve and I would not have planned for him to be working in the Middle East and it is tough having him away missing so much - like putting up the Xmas decs today. 

 

I'm just saying this so you know you're not the only one whose life hasn't gone as planned, I think it is rare that it does work out as we hope. You have proved that you are a strong independent woman and you are willing to work hard to achieve your dream. Just know we are all behind you in chasing that dream. 

[pontalba]

Oh, heebe jeebies, I love that expression! :D I haven't heard that in ages... It reminds me of this other thing... Oh yes, it was hubba hubba by Little Pixie, in your thread, I believe Haha!

 

 

Don't worry. I have no inclination of settling. I have a few standards.. And I like to think they are reasonable standards. (Like, sense of humour, liking dogs, not being an alcoholic, not wanting to beat anyone up, etc.). But I do realise that I have to make compromises, too. I can't have everything I want. Like, if he doesn't read books. I think I will be able to look past that. If he is awesome in other ways

 

Oh. And I do wish he was optimistic, and curious about life. I don't like too much cynicism. And I don't like besserwisserism. No thank you.

 

Love, love, love "besserwisserism"!  Had to google it.....fantastic!  No, you don't want that.

 

Welllll, re not reading.....it's such a large part of our lives, I don't think I could get past that.  Not if he didn't read at all, or worse yet, was dismissive of my (or anyone's ) reading. 

But not liking animals, that is something I could not get past.  Ever. 

[pontalba]

Chalie, you are so right, nothing goes as we've planned while young.  We just don't know enough.  I know I've said this before, but it's worth a repeat (IMO) lol  My Aunt, who passed 4 years ago at 91, always said that by the time anyone learned anything, it was time to croak. I think she was right.

[frankie]

Love, love, love "besserwisserism"!  Had to google it.....fantastic!  No, you don't want that.

 

Is 'besserwisser' not a loan word in English? I know it comes from German, but I thought it's become an English loan word. My bad!

 

(And initially when you said you loved besserwisserism, I thought oh my god, I never would've figured pontalba was the sort who likes besserwissers... Thank god I didn't start ranting before I finished reading your post )

 

Welllll, re not reading.....it's such a large part of our lives, I don't think I could get past that.  Not if he didn't read at all, or worse yet, was dismissive of my (or anyone's ) reading. 

But not liking animals, that is something I could not get past.  Ever. 

 

I mean my partner would have to tolerate my reading, and be supportive of it, but he doesn't have to be an avid reader himself... I guess I'm fearing that maybe with my luck I can't find anyone who would love both dogs and books, and be amazing in other areas of life, too. Of course I'd love it if he loved books, too, but I can't have it all. I can read books in our house even if he doesn't, but I can't keep a dog in the house if he hates dogs, can I?

 

But who knows.. Maybe there's someone out there, who is nice and has a sense of humour, and wants to have dogs and likes books...

[pontalba]

frankie wrote:   But who knows.. Maybe there's someone out there, who is nice and has a sense of humour, and wants to have dogs and likes books...

 

Honestly, I didn't think there was anyone out there for me.  Imagine my surprise when I started 'talking' to someone who was a good conversationalist, was as mad about reading as I was and actually expanded my reading life!  Then, I found out he loved animals, specifically cats.  He likes dogs too, but I didn't have any at the moment.  Probably won't for a long time, as one of the cats actively HATES dogs....so I have to think about him (the cat).  Anyhow. 

 

This is rather a cliché, but we never know what'll happen, 'round the corner.

[frankie]

When I was in my teens I made a pact with my best friend that we would never have children and be best friends forever and that I wanted to be a Vet.  I didn't work hard enough at school and to be honest didn't turn up as often as I should! My best friend worked hard, went to Uni and became a nurse, we lost touch as we became different people. I did a care course at college and did a fair assortment of jobs but nothing like I would have loved to do. I met Steve when I was 27 ish and within a year or so I was pregnant with Charlie (planned) and had 2 dogs (Honey and Dylan)!  Life rarely goes the way we think when we are teens and if I am honest I am not especially happy with my life at the mo, lots of my friends work, and whilst they complain about how little time they have they are at least fulfilled in that sense. Steve and I would not have planned for him to be working in the Middle East and it is tough having him away missing so much - like putting up the Xmas decs today. 

 

I never figured you were not happy with your life!   I mean of course it's hard with Steve being abroad so much, but otherwise, I never got the feeling you were not happy.

 

And this leads to another point... One may think some other person has it all, and that they must be happy... But one never really knows how happy that person is if it's not discussed.

 

For example, I have a friend who studied English at the same time I did. She found a great BF when she was 20. She graduated in the time she expected to graduate, and so did her then BF. They moved to south, she instantly found a job as a teacher, and he found a job at a bank. Perfect? Yes! And she's been doing great at her job, and now they are expecting their first little one...

 

But she doesn't think her life has been perfect. She has personal issues from childhood (nothing drastic, no abuse or anything like that), things that have shaped her notion of herself. And she took her time to get pregnant... For a while it seemed she might be unable to have children, but then a few things cleared out for her and bam, she got pregnant.

 

I always envied her seemingly easy and perfect life... And I was always afraid of telling her that I think I might not write my thesis, even though I've supposedly been doing it for a long time... I feared she would think I was an aimless loser. But when I plucked up the courage to tell her, she was so incredibly supporting. Before that she thought of me as her friend, but I always felt uncomfortable seeing her, because I had to lie about my thesis... And when I told her and she was so great and supportive, I thought it was like a huge load had come off my shoulders. I consider her one of my closest friends these days. I'm very grateful to have her in my life!

 

 

I'm just saying this so you know you're not the only one whose life hasn't gone as planned, I think it is rare that it does work out as we hope. You have proved that you are a strong independent woman and you are willing to work hard to achieve your dream. Just know we are all behind you in chasing that dream. 

 

 

Life really doesn't go as planned. I became depressed in 2007, and that has made a huge difference in my life... It has been a major factor in me being so slow to finish my studies. I never exactly planned to get depressed... And I didn't wish it on myself, and I would never wish it on anyone else, either... And as rough as it was and has been, I do now think it's been just another experience in my life. It's taught me a lot.

 

Thanks chalie for your kind words   It means a lot to know you guys are rooting for me!

 

 

Chalie, you are so right, nothing goes as we've planned while young.  We just don't know enough.  I know I've said this before, but it's worth a repeat (IMO) lol  My Aunt, who passed 4 years ago at 91, always said that by the time anyone learned anything, it was time to croak. I think she was right.

 

I think all kids will have some idea or another about what their life will be like... It's part of that phase in life. I guess it's how we deal with not everything turning out the way we thought that makes us or breaks us, so to speak.

 

[frankie]

Oh and chalie: even if you are not working, you have a great husband and amazing kids, and gorgeous dogs! You are such a great person, you always make me laugh, and I wish I had the chance to know you in real life And it's never too late for you to find something to work on in later life... You are by no means too old!!!

 

Edit: And going by the stuff you write on here and FB, I know you are an awesome mother. That's no easy job!

Edited December 7, 2013 by frankie

[pontalba]

I never figured you were not happy with your life!   I mean of course it's hard with Steve being abroad so much, but otherwise, I never got the feeling you were not happy.

 

And this leads to another point... One may think some other person has it all, and that they must be happy... But one never really knows how happy that person is if it's not discussed.

 

For example, I have a friend who studied English at the same time I did. She found a great BF when she was 20. She graduated in the time she expected to graduate, and so did her then BF. They moved to south, she instantly found a job as a teacher, and he found a job at a bank. Perfect? Yes! And she's been doing great at her job, and now they are expecting their first little one...

 

But she doesn't think her life has been perfect. She has personal issues from childhood (nothing drastic, no abuse or anything like that), things that have shaped her notion of herself. And she took her time to get pregnant... For a while it seemed she might be unable to have children, but then a few things cleared out for her and bam, she got pregnant.

 

I always envied her seemingly easy and perfect life... And I was always afraid of telling her that I think I might not write my thesis, even though I've supposedly been doing it for a long time... I feared she would think I was an aimless loser. But when I plucked up the courage to tell her, she was so incredibly supporting. Before that she thought of me as her friend, but I always felt uncomfortable seeing her, because I had to lie about my thesis... And when I told her and she was so great and supportive, I thought it was like a huge load had come off my shoulders. I consider her one of my closest friends these days. I'm very grateful to have her in my life!

 

 

 

 

Life really doesn't go as planned. I became depressed in 2007, and that has made a huge difference in my life... It has been a major factor in me being so slow to finish my studies. I never exactly planned to get depressed... And I didn't wish it on myself, and I would never wish it on anyone else, either... And as rough as it was and has been, I do now think it's been just another experience in my life. It's taught me a lot.

 

Thanks chalie for your kind words   It means a lot to know you guys are rooting for me!

 

 

 

I think all kids will have some idea or another about what their life will be like... It's part of that phase in life. I guess it's how we deal with not everything turning out the way we thought that makes us or breaks us, so to speak.

 

 

I didn't realize you'd gone through that experience, Sari.    Of course you didn't plan it, no one does, and no one would.   You've managed to take a bad experience and learn from it.  That is one of the most important and best things a person can do.  Brava! 

 

And, yes, how we deal with difficult times can definitely make or break us.  You've come through a fire, my dear.

[pontalba]

Oh and chalie: even if you are not working, you have a great husband and amazing kids, and gorgeous dogs! You are such a great person, you always make me laugh, and I wish I had the chance to know you in real life And it's never too late for you to find something to work on in later life... You are by no means too old!!!

 

Edit: And going by the stuff you write on here and FB, I know you are an awesome mother. That's no easy job!

 

^^^^^What she said! 

[frankie]

Honestly, I didn't think there was anyone out there for me.  Imagine my surprise when I started 'talking' to someone who was a good conversationalist, was as mad about reading as I was and actually expanded my reading life!  Then, I found out he loved animals, specifically cats.  He likes dogs too, but I didn't have any at the moment.  Probably won't for a long time, as one of the cats actively HATES dogs....so I have to think about him (the cat).  Anyhow. 

 

This is rather a cliché, but we never know what'll happen, 'round the corner.

 

I love your and Charlie's story... It makes my knees go wobbly And yes, you never know.... I do kind of think that it's more likely one finds someone when one's not looking... If one's looking, and even if one's not desperate, men will sense it, and will sometimes steer away from that person...

 

I know I sometimes joke around about the awfulness of being single and how it would be great to find someone. And don't get me wrong, it would be nice to have someone to share things with. But you have to realise my posts come with a hint of humour... At the moment I'm only interested in getting my ass over to Lahti, getting to study to become a librarian, and being with my friends. My friend's baby is due in February, and I cannot wait to meet the little bugger... I only want to go to Lahti, get a job or a study spot and be a good auntie

[poppyshake]

Yes a dog lover he has to be .. a book lover he does not. You can get by easily with a non-book lover .. though hardly anyone is that anti .. usually they're just not quite as obsessed as us lot  Chances are your enthusiasm would rub off on him anyway  

There's no point in having a 'my ideal girl/guy' list is there? For a start I don't know if we actually do know what's best for us .. just go with the flow .. if you like the flow and see where the flow takes you  

 

Life didn't pan out as I expected .. I think I panicked early on and made some bad choices. Then I couldn't have children so that threw me into a tizz but .. though there have been tough times .. I don't feel I'm unlucky now or wish that things were different .. quite the contrary I think I'm very fortunate indeed. Equally I have friends my age who are single and they are loving every minute of it. Be happy in what you do .. that's the main thing      

[frankie]

I didn't realize you'd gone through that experience, Sari.    Of course you didn't plan it, no one does, and no one would.   You've managed to take a bad experience and learn from it.  That is one of the most important and best things a person can do.  Brava! 

 

I've mentioned it on here a few times... In the mature debate section, mostly. It was a long time ago... But it's always kind of on the back of my mind. I don't think I will consider myself in clear waters until I've moved to another place and feel happy there and have started studying again, or have found myself a job. But I'm fine at the moment

 

One thing I learned when I was depressed (or rather, afterwards) is that being strong really means that one allows oneself to be vulnerable when need be. And I've realised just how important friends are. I really have amazing friends and I'm so grateful to have each and every one of them in my life I know I can talk to them about anything and they will never ever judge me. And I hope I can do the same for them.

 

And, yes, how we deal with difficult times can definitely make or break us.  You've come through a fire, my dear.

 

Thank you I will not say 'Fire, walk with me', like they said in Twin Peaks

[frankie]

Yes a dog lover he has to be .. a book lover he does not. You can get by easily with a non-book lover .. though hardly anyone is that anti .. usually they're just not quite as obsessed as us lot  Chances are your enthusiasm would rub off on him anyway  

 

I agree! He does not have to love reading himself, he can do his own thing when I'm reading. Although, I have to say... If his thing is burying his head under hoods of cars, I will not get him. I once dated a guy who was into cars. When we'd go to parties, he would stop in his track, in the middle of a street and I would ask him what the matter was, and he would point out at a car and say 'wow'. That did nothing for me, I'm afraid... And if his thing is playing on his computer (I mean games), or the .. what is it... Playstation! I will not get that either... He can play for a bit, but he would have to have other interests, too. And I do kind of wish he was into walking.. He might rub off on me and get me off my arse

 

There's no point in having a 'my ideal girl/guy' list is there? For a start I don't know if we actually do know what's best for us .. just go with the flow .. if you like the flow and see where the flow takes you  

 

It will be interesting to see what the flow is like in Lahti... I dare say I won't expect much... For one, Lahti is in the very south, and they speak very differently. To their ear my accent and dialect will sound like I've come straight from a farm, cuddling a piggy... I'm very, very proud to be from north Karelia, and I take great pride in my dialect, and will have no one look down on me for that!

 

But then again, I have my own prejudices.. They'll talk a lot like the people in Helsinki, and to me Helsinki people sound tired, rude and full of themselves. So I do need to check my own attitude as well. But us Karelians are jovial, friendly and nice people, and I hope I can stay that way in the south.

 

Life didn't pan out as I expected .. I think I panicked early on and made some bad choices. Then I couldn't have children so that threw me into a tizz but .. though there have been tough times .. I don't feel I'm unlucky now or wish that things were different .. quite the contrary I think I'm very fortunate indeed. Equally I have friends my age who are single and they are loving every minute of it. Be happy in what you do .. that's the main thing      

 

I know about that early bad choice you made, and I have a similar experience, although it didn't go as far as in your case. But I think you and I both learned a lot from those experiences, and they've made us more street smart   And I know how it's pained you not to have been able to have children.   But I don't want to feel sorry for you because of it, because I know you live a full life as it is. And you have the most amazing man standing right by your side

 

Like I said a day or two ago, I do like myself more now than I did back when I was in my 20s. What I'm not happy about is my current situation in life, but that's something I've finally started to change, what with applying for a flat in Lahti. I have a feeling good things will happen when I get to move there... For one, I will finally have a friend living in the same city! What I hate most about living in Joensuu at the moment is not having any close, real friends with who I can talk about anything.

Edited December 7, 2013 by frankie