I actually find that the only true horrors to be found in Stephen King are the demons that abide in all of us, which some people pay more heed to than others. Take Carrie - it's not really a novel about telekinesis,
; what it is is a novel about bullying, peer pressure, intolerance, fanatism and the devastating psychological results that all of the above can have on the vulnerable teenage soul. I don't find that twisted, I find it touchingly perceptive, particularly coming from a man who can't possibly know first hand what it feels like to be an unpopular school-girl.
Just my tuppence, of course as for the vampires - alas, it looks like you'll never read my book then (I kid, I kid).
Things I wouldn't touch with a bargepole, in no particular order:
- Chick lit casting women as air-headed gold-diggers and men as rough and rugged commodities whose attractiveness is directly proportionate to their career/bank account.
- Umberto Eco, the pretentious windbag.
- Dan Brown, whose works are ever more badly written than they are researched.
- Stephanie Meyer, with her 500-word vocab, her two-dimensional sparkly vampires and her utter incomphrehension of the workings of high school politics.
- Federico Moccia, Italian "literary phenomenon" (the guy's won awards, they've made musicals from the drivel he concocts!) who writes the most predictable teenage romances of all timein the most preposterous style of all time... and I quote/translate:
"Kiss. Soft kiss, slow kiss, non-rushed kiss. Traminer-tasting kiss, light kiss, kiss of tongues in conflict, surf kiss, kiss on the wave, kiss I'm bitten, kiss I'd like to continue but I can't. Kiss I can't. Kiss there's people."
or, even better:
"You know mayonnaise? Yes, mayonnaise, the one in fast-food stores, the one you squeeze tubes and it comes out. I think there's nothing more difficult to do, putting together the eggs, the lemon, the salt, the oil... well, believe me, compared to that it's easier to fall in love with someone you thought you thought you'd never ever like. For real, mayonnaise is like this, it can go crazy at any moment, a second it seems perfect and the second after all the ingredients are off on their own... but if you make it there's nothing that can stop you."
And no, the grammar wasn't lost in translation - it was quite simply never there.