Talisman

If UKIP do have any MP's it's news to me. Douglas Carswell was one I believe until a year or so ago when he left to become independent. Unless you are referring perhaps to Council elections? As for who constituent are talking to, the same person who is still their MP. Party affiliation in this sense doesn't change anything (certainly not their ability to help constituents, as they still have access to the same resources). As to whether there will be more defections - probably - but who knows who or when? The only thing I or anyone else can say with certainty is that no one knows! and that it all resembles a certain part of the male anatomy!

That sounds really complicated. The system here is much easier. We have 2 Parliamentary Houses - the House of Commons and the House of Lords. The House of Commons is the one where our MP's sit. We have 600 and something of these from all around the country - each representing what they call a constituency - the larger cities will have several different MP's representing different parts of that city, but most other areas will have just one - my constituency is called Mole Valley. MP's are usually but not always members of one of the political parties - my MP is from the Conservative Party (this area has pretty much always been Conservative - more's the pity), who are currently the largest party in the House of Commons. They didn't get enough votes in the 2017 election to form a majority Government and so had to get support from one of the Northern Irish parties (the DUP) in order to do so in what they call a confidence and supply arrangement. The Labour party are the second largest party here which form what we call the opposition, and then there are the smaller parties - The Liberal Democrats (of which I am a member) currently have 12 MP's and the Greens have one. We also have the new Independent Group, made up of 11 MP's who recently left their own parties in order to form this new group. This is not an official party as yet, but I expect it soon will be. There are also the regional parties - the Scottish Nationalists, Plaid Cymru for Wales with Sinn Fein and the DUP in Northern Ireland. There are other smaller parties in addition to this (such as UKIP) who don't have any MP's. The House of Lords is an unelected second chamber mad up of a combination of what we call hereditary peers (who inherit the title basically) and what we call life peers (usually people who have helped one of the political parties in some way or another - sometimes by being a wealthy donor). Their job is to hold the House of Commons to account, which means that they have the power to veto bills and so on. This often makes them rather unpopular - but they are only doing their job, which is an important one, as otherwise Parliament would be able to do whatever they liked and get away with it! There is a strong case for reform of The Lords having said this, as they are not elected by the ordinary people or indeed by anyone, but like a lot of things when it comes to British politics, no one does anything about this. The person who was elected then yesterday will be the Liberal Democrat parliamentary candidate for Mole Valley in the next general election, whenever that might be ….

Good luck with the taxes - I don't know what the Dutch system is like, but if its anything like ours you will need it! It's raining here at the moment, but there is a mind, body and spirit fair going on in Dorking today so I expect we will venture out to that a bit later on for a wander around. Yesterday we went to a hustings for the local Lib Dems for the election of their next PPC (prospective parliamentary candidate). Coran and I had already done a postal vote, as of course we thought I would be flying back from the Canaries yesterday, but it was still good to go along and listen to what both the candidates had to say and catch up with a few other people. It was a difficult choice, but I think the right one was selected. As to whether there will be an election this year, who knows, I wouldn't be surprised though!

Yes, we do hope so. I think to be honest its about finding ways to manage the anxiety that's the key. If she can do that and start to drive again then that alone will be a big breakthrough and will make the world of difference to her. It will mean that she is able to see her friend Sarah for a start, whom she is missing desperately.

We are having a quiet weekend before I go back to work on Monday. Corans anxiety thankfully seems better today. We have just booked another nice weekend away for Easter near Stonehenge, where we haven't bene for a while - it's only the Travelodge but all we need is a bed, a kettle and a shower so that's enough for us. As Top Cashback were offering 10 percent on hotel bookings for today only I have also just booked one for the night before my Bosnian trip in May. I have to be at Heathrow by 4am for a 6am flight, so staying that little bit nearer will make the travel a lot easier in case of overnight road closures or any other problems between now and then. Coran should be able to drive by then I hope!

I don't mind anyone jumping in - this isn't my personal thread. I am feeling a lot better than I was, although Corans anxiety is still quite high. The doctor has given her some new anti depressants, but they take a while to get into the system before you feel the effects. We had a lovely few days in Portsmouth at the beginning of the week with the unseasonably warm weather. We stayed in a lovely hotel on the seafront opposite South Parade Pier and spent our time mostly just sitting on the beach talking and exploring the town. The highlight was probably going to see the Mary Rose at the historic dockyard - and of course the weather, which has since changed to more what is should be at this time of year. On Wednesday, the last of the sunny days we took the opportunity go to up to London again to join the protestors outside Parliament. There was a large leave contingent who kept marching up and down the road past where we were shouting insults at us. The traffic had stopped at that point due to a taxi protest in Parliament Square up the road, so we took advantage and went up to the square to stage our own version, walking all the way round and down past Parliament, which was brilliant. Sal Brinton from the House of Lords and Chairman of the Lib Dems stopped by for a chat which was nice. There was a bit of a shouting match earlier outside the main entrance to the House of Commons just in time for the 1pm news, when we were tipped off that Theresa May was about to leave. As she was driven through the gates she was greeted by the site of Mr Stop Brexit shouting just that at the top of his voice! You may have seen the ensuing stand off between the 2 sides on the Channel 4 news later on - I was among the crowd somewhere. It was another great day and probably the last chance I will get to join them now. Yesterday Coran had her appointment with the Community Psychiatric Team for an assessment, which went well. She has to go back next week to complete the assessment as it went on longer than expected, but they should be able to help. The main problem is not being able to drive, which with the lack of public transport here and the fact that I have to go to work each day makes it very difficult for her. This is probably then the most pressing issue - to get on top of the anger that stops her from being able to do that.

I know all of this logically but it is so very difficult to put this into practise. I was back at work today and very up and down. It was not easy having to explain all of this to people, especially to the men I work with who are typical blokes who find it hard to talk about this stuff. I knew my own Manager wasn't in today, but when I came through the door this morning the CEO was there making her morning coffee and she asked me if I had had a nice day off! She obviously didn't know what had happened, but then, why should she? It's a good job in some ways that this happened the way it did, as I ended up blabbing all over her and it all came pouring out. We ended up in her office where we had a long chat and I put everything on the table. All the anger and frustration about everything that has happened in the last 6 months - most of which is down to poor communication. She comes across sometimes as quite prickly unapproachable but when you get her at the right moment she can be quite a good listener. She said some interesting things actually - like the fact that people love reading my emails, and that the reason why it seems I am not considered is to do with the fact that I am so good at my job that people trust that I will get things done and just work around everyone and everything. All of this is of course true, but what it also means is that people have got so used to the fact that I do that that they no longer feel that I have to be involved in decisions that affect my job. She is the worst culprit here - making the decision to move the largest department into the building where I am based which will mean an extra 40 or 50 people trooping in and out all day long between 7.30am and 9.30pm 7 days a week - which is the exact time that I start work and have to try and get everything done. She is also advertising to local groups to rent rooms out of hours which will make it almost impossible for us to clean at these times, quite apart from the fact that this other department will be there as well trying to work around us! I was not asked for my opinion on of this and when I tried to express this at the last employee forum it was not even put on the minutes. When I queried this not one person who was there at that meeting backed me up. It is then not surprising that I feel like this. As for Coran, like me she is also all over the place. She is feeling bad about how this has affected me and I am feeling bad about how it has affected her - here we are then doing this dance together. On the bright side, I managed to book us 2 nights in a hotel in Portsmouth for this weekend (Sunday/Monday), so at least that's something. It's not the break I was hoping for, which I still feel desperately sad about (I should have been packing my bag this evening), but at least its something. I am still then going to take the week off, as I know I need it, and I have made arrangements for my staff to cover for me anyway, so it wouldn't be fair to cancel all their overtime. I must say that the one who has been at work this week has been brilliant with all of this - people ask me why I feel so passionately about Brexit and campaign and protest so strongly and vociferously about it all - he's one of the reasons and I will do whatever I can to protect his rights to be here and do the fantastic work he does for me and in supporting his own family back home.

Well, I am not going to La Palma after all and upset is not the word. Corans depression is worse than either of us could have known, and on Tuesday I had to leave work early to take her to hospital. They referred her to the Community Psychiatric team who rang this afternoon with an appointment for Thursday next week. I had hoped following what happened on Tuesday that I may still be able to go, and went to work as usual on Wednesday, but when I got home Coran was if anything even worse. We agreed to sleep on it, although I don't think any of us got much and after a night of tossing and turning with many tears for both of us, I felt I had no option but to cancel the trip this morning and not go to work. I am lucky in some ways that my apartment host has refunded most of my stay, but the flight of course is not refundable. All I will get back there is the tax. What I am left with now then is an overwhelming sense of loss and sadness that is very difficult to out into words. I know logically it was the right and the only thing to do in putting Coran first, but the fact that I have had to do this reinforces the view that my needs are less important than other peoples and that I am therefore by definition, not important as a person. I have been feeling like this for a while at work as well, as the new CEO is bringing in a lot of changes that will make it much more difficult for me and my staff to do our jobs, seemingly without thinking about the consequences and needless to say without consulting me either. This makes me feel extremely disrespected and under valued. This cancellation is then merely another symptom of those feelings that were already there and have been truth be told for most of my life. It seems like I am always having to put others first but when I need them no one is there for me. Most of my childhood was like this, and it continued more or less in every job I have ever had. Coran is about the only person in fact who hasn't done this, and I feel terrible about the fact that she is now having to deal with my stuff as well as her own. I have tried talking to my own Manager about how I feel but all he said was that people do respect and value the work that I do, and that he is sorry I feel that way. This isn't really an answer, or a solution. All of this makes me feel incredibly selfish that I am still trying to put myself first instead of thinking about Coran and what she is going through, which is the most intense anger and self hatred. I can't ignore my own reaction to this though or pretend I don't feel this way. It is so very difficult to see the person you love going through this and knowing there is little you can do to help them. Corans sister did offer to let her stay with her and her husband for a week while their son is away, so I could still have my holiday, but I knew I would be worrying about her but it didn't seem right as Angela has her own health and family issues to deal with. She has just been told that her husband only has a few more years to live (he doesn't know this yet) because of emphysema. I couldn't then put more pressure on her. I just keep thinking about that lovely week that I should have had, in my little apartment by the sea, watching the carnival and enjoying the sunshine and lovely Spanish food and atmosphere. I don't know how I will eel on Saturday knowing that I should have been getting on that plane to have a week of warmth and relaxation instead of trooping around Sainsburys and cleaning the cats litter box. Life can be really crap at times.

I am not sure what the word would be for this in English Gaia - support worker maybe, as it sounds like the type of service we provide for the clients where I work - helping to manage finances, take them shopping, manage their properties and different aspects of their lives - it's really helping them to be more independent. February is flying by though and I can't believe we are halfway through the month already. It's been a busy one on the work front as we are nearing the end of the holiday year and everyone is busy using up their annual leave - including me. I am off to La Palma in the Canary Islands this Saturday for a week. It should be a good week as it coincides with the annual carnival - it might also be a bit noisy then. Talking of noise, I spent another day with the protestors outside Parliament on Valentines Day for an event called Cake Not Hate. It was a brilliant day with like minded people (several hundred of us - you may have seen us on the Channel 4 news!) sharing stories and making friendships. I got to meet and have my picture taken with Mr Stop Brexit and saw the EU Super girl perform, which was great. Another March has been announced for the end of March which I have already signed up for and which I am busy making preparations - gold stars have been ordered to adorn my clothing, along with several colourful badges. Coran has not been too well of late - she has had a lot of personal stuff to deal with and has been missing her best friend Sarah who has been in training these past few weeks getting to know her new assistance dog. She is feeling better than she was, but is still quite low.

We saw Mary Queen of Scots last weekend - the 2 leads are vey powerful actresses who both play the role very well.

Electric Dreams - Phil Oakey/Giorgio Moroder

I was sound asleep in my bed and so missed it - it was still full a few hours later when I went out for work, although not red. It has been quite cold here though the past few days with temperatures not far above freezing and we may or may not have some snow overnight - thank goodness for down jackets!

I have had an interesting day. As I had three days holiday left to take I decided to take one of them and go up to London for a vigil outside Westminster on the day of the Brexit vote. I was in good company as there were thousands there - from both sides but it was all very good natured - and noisy! There were lots of great people there whom I got talking to and many of whom were taking pictures of the sign that I carried with me. I had been planning to go to the rally afterwards to watch the vote live but decided to leave so I could get home ahead of the rush hour, which proved to be a good one. The vote though has now been cast, and the results are in, so what happens now is anyone's guess!

3 so far for me - 21 percent through no. 4.

I sometimes look at reviews as well, mostly on Amazon as that is where my books inevitably come from. I must admit that I tend to use the look inside feature as more of a guide though, as reviews can be so subjective - you either like authors writing style or not. and the best form of review is always your own judgment.

There are a lot of different ones - some more traditional and some modern. I like a bit of both if I am honest. For me opera is one of the most impressive art forms that encompasses everything - the performers are not only singing but also acting. Then of course there is the orchestra and the scenery - and the wonderful costumes, not to mention if you are lucky enough to be attending a live one in person, the whole theatre experience. I have only ever been to two that way (both abroad) as it's so expensive and also because of the hours I work (starting at 7.30am) I can't really stay up late. Most of them tend to be in London anyway which for me is almost a 2 hour journey away so that's really not going to work on any day other than a Friday (when I am too knackered after being at work all week anyway) or a Saturday when I don't have to get up for work the following day!

Like other things as well, hey will only work if you are prepared to put in the work. There are no quick fixes unfortunately.

I definitely need to start walking more and exploring the local area - there are so many walks around here that there really isn't an excuse. The New Year is shaping up well for me though, with our new cleaner all trained up and ready to start the new rota next week, which I hope will work. The other one has been working on a Tuesday night for over a year now to get the kitchen areas cleaned but this is the first time we have tried it for other areas, so I hope it will work and the fact hat the Supported Living team are soon moving into the Main Building will not put a spanner in the works - as they work until 9.30pm. I have booked out all the rooms and notified everyone of what my intent is, and they are usually quite cooperative in working around us, so there is no reason to think this won't continue. I booked my first opera ticket of the year a few days ago - The Queen of Spades, which is on 22nd January, so am looking forward to that. There are some good ones this season and it would be nice to see a live one in Convent Garden (or anywhere) this year, but they are expensive and the journey back from London at night is a pain. You do occasionally get Saturday matinees though, so I shall be keeping an eye on the RCG website.

You're welcome Brian.

If you haven't heard of Jacks Flight Club it would be worth your while to look them up Brian. Jack and his wonderful team of researchers scour the Internet looking for deals literally all over the world and there have been some great ones recently to that part of the world that might help you decide.

Anyone who knows me will know that I love to travel - I am one of those people who has to plan another holiday as soon as I get back from the last one. Last year I managed four overseas trips and a few short breaks in the UK. I had 10 days in Andalucía, Spain in February exploring he cities of Granada, Cordoba and Seville, a week in Kotor, Montenegro in May, 2 weeks exploring the Baltic States of Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia (with a day trip to Finland thrown in for good measure) in July and 5 nights in Budapest (Hungary) in October. We also had a night in London to see the Game of Thrones Musical Experience and 2 nights in Glastonbury just after Christmas. Plans for 2019 include La Palma in the Canaries in February, Bosnia and Herzegovina in May and a cottage in Somerset in August to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary (I normally travel alone as Coran doesn't have a passport, but she will come with me for that one). I am really excited at the idea of Bosnia, as it's still undiscovered and there is just so much to see and experience, not just war stuff, although there is a lot of that. The countryside and the food look and sound amazing. It's not the easiest place to get to unfortunately as there are no direct flights from the UK (yet) so I am having to go via Vienna and Dubrovnik. Herzegovina borders Croatia so I will get the bus from there to Mostar the following day where I will then spend 6 nights. I have a lovely apartment in Mostar which I found on booking.com - I love that site! I will then catch a bus to Sarajevo - and another apartment - and spend a week there before flying back again via Vienna. So what are everyone else's plans - is anyone else planning anything different or unusual or are you all armchair travellers?

That must be a real bummer not being able to taste any of that lovely food - I suppose it might be one way to lose weight though, albeit rather a drastic one! The fireworks here weren't too bad and didn't keep us awake for long. Thankfully the cats weren't bothered by them either. It was back to work properly today, with lots of carpets to shampoo as a few clients had over indulged and been poorly. I spent the day working with our new cleaner as the other one isn't back until tomorrow - he is flying home from Poland today after visiting his ex wife and kids (teenagers now). I even managed to work out a rota for the new cleaner that might fingers crossed please everyone - I blooming well hope so anyway!

Another few countries completed at the close of the old year: My Fathers Daughter by Hannah Pool for Eritrea Gallivanting on Guam by Dave Slagle for Guam The Ships by Roberto Quesada for Honduras That brings the total to another 34 countries completed this year: Barbados, Belarus, Belize, Botswana, British Indian Ocean Territory, Cook Islands, Cyprus, Dominica, Eritrea, French Polynesia, Guam, Honduras, Kenya, Kyrgyzstan, Latvia, Liberia, Liechtenstein, Maldives, Malta, Mauritius, Moldova, Monaco, Montenegro, Namibia, North Marianna Islands, Panama, Qatar, St Vincent, San Marino, Serbia, Sudan, Switzerland, Venezuela

Well that wasn't a bad years reading in the end. I set myself a target of 100 books which for the first time I managed to surpass - I read 104 in total. Of these almost a third were non fiction which is not unusual for me, mostly on politics and social sciences, but a few biographies as well. The shortest was 36 pages and the longest about 550 pages. I also managed to clock up another 34 countries towards the Around the World Reading Challenge, namely, Barbados, Belarus, Belize, Botswana, British Indian Ocean Territory, Cook Islands, Cyprus, Dominica, Eritrea, French Polynesia, Guam, Honduras. Kenya, Kyrgyzstan, Latvia, Liberia, Liechtenstein, Maldives, Malta, Mauritius, Moldova, Monaco, Montenegro, Namibia, North Marianna Islands, Panama, Qatar, St Vincent, San Marino, Serbia, Sudan, Switzerland, Venezuela I look forward to many more great books in 2019.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Coran and I had a lovely few days at home, eating, drinking, reading and spending time with the cats. I was back to work yesterday but just for 2 days - its a good time for us to do a lot of deep cleaning while hardly anyone else is there, and it was a great opportunity to show my new cleaner how to use all the machinery. I am off again now for another 4 days before everything returns to 'normal' on January 2nd, and Coran and I are also off to Glastonbury in the morning staying at the wonderful Chalice Well where we had our honeymoon - no, not the festival! There is a little bit more to the town than that and it always amuses me when people ask if we are going - in December! This time last year I was on my way home from Iceland having seen the fantastically brilliant Sigur Ros.