Tash

I did manage to get my husband to read a couple of John Grisham books and he admitted they were 'ok' but I think he finds all fiction the work of the 'la la fairies'. He prefers to read factual books, reference books, computer programming information books *yawns*

:rofl: Get outta my head!! *giggles*

lmao jeez Maureen, I'd be flat on my back by now!!!! rofl I was referring to Linda Fairstein therefore LF sweetie

My apologies in advance for this because it is likely to be long. Through certain personal experiences of my own I've been able to relate to characters in this book and therefore have plenty to say. You have been warned (don't worry though, not all questions were answered ) I don't think you can fairly answer this question on the basis that for the purpose of this book, although the outcome was vital to the storyline, the 'how it got there' wasn't, in my personal opinion. A case like this would be so indepth, I don't you could judge the representation of the justice system based on this novel. I also don't believe that in a case like that the mother would have been able to have represented herself, I don't think they would have allowed it, however, I could be wrong. I felt it was the fairest outcome. No outcome was going to be easy on any of the family, especially on the two family members opposing each other. I find this a very difficult question to answer as it stirred an awful lot of emotion within me. I will be honest and explain my reasons why. I have never had to go through what this family went through, not as a child or parent. I have, however, been through the feelings of neglect, invisibility etc caused by parents. I therefore was very much able to relate to both Jesse who acted out and Anna. My personal case, as I say was entirely different, and nothing to do with a health issue, nonetheless, as a child or a human being, these feelings are soul destroying. I found myself for the first part of the book, reliving some of the anger I felt towards my own parents as a result of the actions Sara was taking. As I have grown older and wiser and with help from various quarters, I now see my own parents in a different way. I now see that they were doing the best they could in the situation they were in. By the end of this book, I felt myself empathising with Sara. Like has been mentioned in this thread before, until you are in the situation yourself, there is no way of knowing how you would react and I'm sure Sara really didn't mean to 'neglect' the other two children. I also felt that it wasn't just two she was neglecting. The only reason Anna did what she did was because she was the one who had actually listened to Kate. On that basis, the mother neglected all three of her children as she never gave Kate the chance to put her own opinion across. I didn't view the answers regarding Judge sarcastic. I found them to be not only humerous but also a very common way of dealing with serious/terminal illness issues. It is a sad fact of nature that when you are in the company of someone like Kate or Campbell, once you are aware of their illnesses, you behave differently. You don't mean to but it happens. You can't help feel pity for them, you can't help wonder how YOU would feel in their situation. You often are scared to speak your mind through fear of upsetting the situation or making them worse. Those people have already accepted their situation, it is part of their life and something they have to live with day in, day out. Avoiding discussing it can often be worse than just speaking openly. Watching someone avoiding it is not an easy thing to do. By masking the illness by humour, Campbell, Kate and the young lad she was involved with were sparing not only others, but themselves the discomfort of that situation. This is my personal opinion. They don't want pity and they also don't want to be treated as 'different'. I've never had such a serious illness, but when I suffered my breakdown, there was only one person out of a vast variety of friends and relatives who would actually sit and talk to me about it without skirting the issue or avoiding it entirely. I always loved speaking with that person because believe it or not, it made me feel normal. The others, god bless them, treated me with kid gloves which made me feel like a freak to be honest. I believe that society conditioning strips humans of alot of their best qualities as they grow from children to adults. It was only yesterday I was discussing just this with a group of people. As a child, you didn't really suffer stress. If you had anger, you stomped your foot or screamed. If you hurt, you cried. If you were happy, you laughed even when there was apparently no reason. I agree with Anna's 'slow sewing shut' theory totally. As an adult you lose the ability to speak your mind and be totally honest to yourself and about situations as you see them because you are conditioned that it is the wrong thing to do. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect to see adults stop in the street and stomp their feet having a tantrum but at least do it in your home. Be honest with those you have contact with, don't hide behind a wall of fear because you are scared the person you are speaking with will think badly of you. These are things I have to tell myself daily, I'm a nightmare for them. I'm always honest with people but the guilt I feel after is horrendous if I've hurt them with my honesty. My policy now is, if you haven't reviewed ALL the possible 'what if' answers to that question and aren't prepared for any of them to be given to you, then don't ask the question I personally feel fantastic reverting back to child tactics. I'm happy to stand in my own home (or my friends or families to be honest) and stomp my foot if I don't get my own way. Yes, they laugh at me as well as with me but it DOES relieve stress and trust me, that stuff weights a frickin tonne!!!. I'd rather be shot of it and if one stomp of a foot is all it takes then I'm there lmao The main thing I feel this novel teaches adults, however, is about not just hearing but 'listening' because there is a world of difference. Had Sara listened to Kate rather than just hearing, Anna may not have felt the need to revert to such drastic measures. Obviously, there is no guarantee of this though. There are no rights or wrongs when dealing with emotions and that's exactly what this case was, a rollercoaster of emotions. For me, I think this comes down to what I believe was the most powerful part in the book. A crossword question is asked, a 4 letter word for vessel and Anna replies 'Anna'. Incidentally, this was one part I bawled at too, it wrenched me. I think because of age, change in legal circumstances, ability to understand properly, due to growing, what is happening, Anna had the most capability of change. In order to do that though, she needed to do what she did. By taking her parents to court, not only did Kates wishes finally sink in but Anna was able to give herself more self worth. I think the 'vessel' line in the book was the most thought provoking for me. To be so young, to know you were born to provide for another, to have desires of your own unmet, to feel invisible, more importantly to 'feel' like a vessel, something had to change. Only Anna could have done this as the only time it would have stopped would have been when Kate had died. I didn't really have an opinion on this subject before reading this book quite simply as it is something I have never had to deal with before. I'm ashamed to say that, as there have been cases in the news etc about it but that's the pure truth of the matter. I also didn't know what platelets were or how much trauma a leukemia sufferer has to go through. It has been an education that's for sure!! I can totally understand why Sara and Brian opted for another child to help Kate in the way they did. I'm not a mother but I do know that mothers will generally do anything in their powers to protect their children. I think research into this subject is a positive thing personally. There is no such thing as bad learning in my opinion and the more 'we' know about things, the better. There may come a day where during that research they find a way of preventing or curing some of our most horrendous diseases worldwide, so keep at it I say. HOWEVER.......I think that before entering a situation like Sara and Brian did, they should have received counselling of some kind to prepare them for what was to happen. Having a child merely to benefit another (as lets face it, they did) for the mere use of the part they throw away at birth was one thing. To take it as far as they did should have been discussed at the beginning. There HAS to be a cut off point and to me, it was obvious they would use Anna's blood/bone marrow as she was an identical genetic match and it was obvious at some point that Kate would need it. There was a part in the book that mentioned that if cutting off Annas head to save Kate was an option, would it have been considered. This was treated with disdain as a question but I didn't flinch as I read it because as the book had progressed all I kept thinking was 'for gods sake, when will this stop!'. There was no doubt Anna was more than willing to be there for Kate, but she was a human being too and the parents should have been MADE to see that from the start. So, that's my opinion on the subject in general. Long winded, some of you no doubt have quit half way through, can't say I blame you cos when I ramble I ramble but I had a lot of opinions on this book and I just love to share *giggles*. One thing I will add though, the ending sucked And I don't mean that as in it was a weak or lame ending I just mean jeeeez...after all that My heart felt like it was breaking as soon as they got that car door open and the dog came out. I just knew from that moment that was it and sobbed the rest of the way through. How tragic. How terrible. How sad. How like life. Thank you Jodi for a wonderful read.

Ditto that crispychez. My mum loaned me The Other Boleyn Girl a while back and I ended up getting the rest of Ms Gregorys books and other historical fiction authors books too. Philippa particularly though, has done fantastic research into her 'facts', so although written in the fictional sense, you have no doubts that alot of these things did happen, or were said.

She's another one Maureen, although I'm a step ahead with that author, I already have all her books, I just haven't got round to reading them yet

YAY for another Philippa Gregory fan!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed.

I've heard so many good reviews about Nicci French, I'm scared to pick up one of her books until I've caught up on all my others because I know I'll want to read more!! I've already been stuck by superglue to Jodi Picoult who was another I was trying to avoid temporarily for the above reason so for now I'm going to have to stick my fingers in my ears, close my eyes and sing: lalalala la can't hear, can't see.......la la la la la

I've yet to read a bad one from her. Her latest, The Constant Princess, the story of Katherine of Aragon was such an eye opener and like I believe I've mentioned somewhere round here before (I repeat myself often I'm afraid), it has made me want to delve into the life of her parents now.

You can't beat a book that puts you in the mind of the character

I still haven't read any HP books lol. I have them all on DVD but haven't watched them yet. I will one day and I'm sure I'll love them and then want all the books but until that day they'll remain off my list

I won't read Mills & Boon, I tried once with Catherine Cookson now I just plain refuse to even try again and I'm really going to make myself popular with this one but: I've kinda been avoiding Kelley Armstrong too, again as someone said before, simply because of the amount of hype - and yes, I know that's daft, if people are raving, it's bound to be good but it tends to have the opposite effect on me at times. I'm weird like that. I'm just weird

I'm really glad you're enjoying that book Kell, it's one of my favourites and yes it does give you a lot of food for thought and help you to view history through different eyes

I have them all now, just have to get round to reading them! Still, least I know the order to read them in now

I'd never even heard of her until this forum. Michelle, you have a lot to answer for starting this group up....I can't keep up with all these authors!!! Just kidding hunny, you know I love it here

4.99 in Sainsburys. I had to get it, everywhere I go people are raving about it lmao

I think it was the TV adaptaption I saw rather than the film but I'm not sure :oops: I'm too easily distracted when a certain Mr Firth is in things... I have to agree though, Keira Knightly is a great actress.

Great taste there I keep looking at this one but couldn't make my mind up about getting it....still can't lol I'm glad you said that because its the only one of hers that I've read and I enjoyed it so it can only get better This HAS to be watched, purely for the Colin Firth element...*drools*...yes yes, I know, Tash is back on her off topic obsession with Colin Firth but any chance to have a drool.....*giggles*

I think you'll find that the Scots kids didn't have the monopoly on this excuse

lmao @ you two!!

For what it's worth Jo, I can relate to your books as security blankets. I used my books to escape my childhood for various reasons and I tend to have a select few that I read over and over in amongst all the others. They always make me feel comforted. Even though I know the storylines of these books like the back of my hand, reading them transports me back to that plane of 'fantasy escape'. During a recent therapy session, I was taught how to put myself into a 'comfort zone' thus avoiding overreacting in awkward situations. Snuggled in my bed with my comfort blanket and a particular book was my zone and I only have to think of it now and I'm there. The mind can be a terrible burden sometimes but it also holds some incredible powers. Tapping into those powers is an amazing experience. The fact you can 'fall into' a book, to me, is a gift. Not everybody has that gift. I treasure mine

I don't know if anyone is interested but.... On BOL (see home page, shopping bit), they are doing a special offer at the moment. ALL the Adrian Mole books for 9.99. Yes that's right, ALL of them. Just in case anyone was interested in owning the set.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Too funny Maureen!!!!

I'd love to know who started that rumour...they should have been a politician....or maybe it was Pinocchio!

:shock: :shock: :shock: ROFLMAO!!!!!!