Steven Preece Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 One of my sayings is "Life is a journey of experiences". It is a true statement. Life is full of challenges which we look at in various ways. Some tackle them with ease, some with difficulty. Personally I have my own strategy: Basically, I look at life's problems as brick walls. If I can't get over the wall I go under it. If I can't go under the wall I go around it. and If I can't go around the wall I go through it. Job done. ----------------------------- Do you have a strategy for resolving issues? Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I learnt this one strategy from a Finnish philosopher, I don't remember if it was her own idea or if she heard it from someone else. Anyways: Sort all your problems or worries in two separate 'mental baskets'. In the first one, you can put your problems which you cannot do anything about. In the second you put your problems which you can sort out. Then, look at the first basket. You can't help those problems so just throw them away, no use carrying them around. Then take a look at the second basket. There you have problems you can take care of. Now, you can throw those away too, because you can sort them out and therefore don't really need to worry about. Tadaa! Personally, I don't have any specific strategies. I'm very mood-oriented, so it all comes down to whether I'm feeling optimistic or pessimistic, and if I have any energy or not. One thing I just remembered: in Gilmore Girls, Lorelai was asking her daughter Rory if she was always going to just do the minimum stuff needed. That sometimes people need to do extra. People need to do difficult things in life as well, every now and then. I think that's wise. We shouldn't go through life half-assing everything we can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleW Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 No, personally I don't have such a strategie, at least not an outspoken one. I haven't been that good in solving any problems, but am getting better with growing life experience and a growing easiness with problems. Things I would have considered major brick walls a few years ago are merely rimstones now. But that philosophy sounds good anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nollaig Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Steven I'm going to change the title of your thread a little just to reflect the actual question in it. I freak out and stress until the problem goes away. Basically. I have no strategy, I'm just a chronic worrier about things even if I can't do anything about them. It's very easy to say, 'well you can't do anything about it just yet', but that's not much consolation when, for example something I faced some time ago, your house is going to be sold out from under you in 4 weeks and you need to find somewhere to live, but no one will take you because you're unemployed and your brother is a student. It's not exactly easy to 'not worry' about things like that even when you're doing the best you can to fix them, and there are also some things you just can't fix. I guess I'm a pessimist! But to be fair, things rarely work out for me so it's not surprising I worry about the worst things happening. My brother leads a blessed life, I guess I got the flipside of that to balance the scales! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleW Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I used to be like that and still am a bit. And having to find a flat within 4 weeks is a problem, even if you have a job. And all those nice philosophies and strategies are made to help you stop worrying about nothing. They don't say that there are no problems you really have to worry about. Sometimes there are. But probably if you learn not to worry about nothing you also learn to cope better with those real problems. Just like: If you always think you can't solve your minor problems your major ones will paralize you completely. Because you will become negative in mind and loose your sel-assurance. Or don't built up one for that matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Preece Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 I learnt this one strategy from a Finnish philosopher, I don't remember if it was her own idea or if she heard it from someone else. Anyways: Sort all your problems or worries in two separate 'mental baskets'. In the first one, you can put your problems which you cannot do anything about. In the second you put your problems which you can sort out. Then, look at the first basket. You can't help those problems so just throw them away, no use carrying them around. Then take a look at the second basket. There you have problems you can take care of. Now, you can throw those away too, because you can sort them out and therefore don't really need to worry about. Tadaa! Personally, I don't have any specific strategies. I'm very mood-oriented, so it all comes down to whether I'm feeling optimistic or pessimistic, and if I have any energy or not. One thing I just remembered: in Gilmore Girls, Lorelai was asking her daughter Rory if she was always going to just do the minimum stuff needed. That sometimes people need to do extra. People need to do difficult things in life as well, every now and then. I think that's wise. We shouldn't go through life half-assing everything we can. Hi Frankie. I find you post most interesting. I guess mine means, life sends its problems, they come in all shapes and sizes and the secert is.......learning to manage them. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayley Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I definitely am a worrier but I also try to be optimistic, I do think I'd call myself an optimistic person. This probably doesn't really count as a strategy but when I'm worried about a situation I tend to sit and imagine all possible outcomes and what I would do in each situation (yes, I daydream ALOT when I'm stressed ) and then I feel a bit more prepared to deal with them. Even then though, it's very rare that the actual outcome is anywhere near as bad as my imagined ones! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Preece Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 (edited) I definitely am a worrier but I also try to be optimistic, I do think I'd call myself an optimistic person. This probably doesn't really count as a strategy but when I'm worried about a situation I tend to sit and imagine all possible outcomes and what I would do in each situation (yes, I daydream ALOT when I'm stressed ) and then I feel a bit more prepared to deal with them. Even then though, it's very rare that the actual outcome is anywhere near as bad as my imagined ones! Hi Hayley, that sounds logical to me. You are reviewing all possible outcomes in your mind and therefore summing up the situation. That is a great strategy in itself, as it leaves you with a choice after making your own risk assessments. Steve Edited September 9, 2011 by Steven Preece Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katrina1968 Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 I pray. Long ago I realized that there are very few things that have the right to claim my sanity! And even then, I'm not going down with out a fight or a passenger (because it would be someone incredibly close to me) who was determined to send me over the deep end. I've found that my worrying wont fix a problem. I have to be proactive. Learning to know who I am and accepting myself I refuse to let someone else's bad day or drama filled life determine who I am or how my day will be. For the most part I've set myself a few rules. If I'm the cause of my problem, I acknowledge it, full responsibility. If I am on the receiving end of someone elses' crap, I shake it off and if needed I inform the offender depending on the severity. Most times they don't know that I'm pissed. I work proactively to change my situation and I look at the worst possible thing that can happen and realize that in the big scheme of life, it aint that big a deal. I'm speaking from the I've been there perspective. When I say some really bad things have happened in my life I can say from experience that had I not had my faith (Christianity) I would have lost my mind. It truly brings me peace. Thats not to say that I don't have bad days or that things don't get to me or that I'm not anxious because I am. I'm human. What I am saying is that my faith carries me through and gives me strength. Lifes blows, when they come, don't leave me floored. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talisman Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 (edited) I suppose my own strategy would be something along the lines of the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." I grew up in a household where both parents were chronic worriers, especially Dad, and seeing as I inherited most of his traits, didn't really stand a chance. With a lot of help though (and hard work), you can learn to change the way that you are, or more specifically, the way that you think, for it is all about learning to master what goes on in your head. If you can do that then you can also change the way you feel, for feeling comes from thought. A lot of what we think isn'r out anyway, but it is baggage inherited from our parents and peers - in other words, it isn't ours to begin with. I had a few spiritual teachers before I met Coran, but he has been by far the biggest influence on my life with his insights into so many things - sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. I have quite a stressful job, and it isn't always easy to keep the mind focussed when you are dealing with high pressure situations, but I usually eventually manage to realise what I am doing and remember those words. At times when it really is too much then I find a long walk in the fresh air works wonders at clearing the mind - Coran and I often have our most philsophical talks at such times, or over a cup of tea. I am really lucky to have found someone like that with whom I can share and be totally honest. Edited September 10, 2011 by Talisman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dawnbirduk Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." I love the serenity prayer, it means such a lot to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankie Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 This probably doesn't really count as a strategy but when I'm worried about a situation I tend to sit and imagine all possible outcomes and what I would do in each situation (yes, I daydream ALOT when I'm stressed ) and then I feel a bit more prepared to deal with them. Even then though, it's very rare that the actual outcome is anywhere near as bad as my imagined ones! I think it most definitely counts as a strategy. I think it's great that you imagine all possible outcomes and prepare yourself for them. You know what they say (I don't remember the actual phrasing): A well prepared job is a job half done. I suppose my own strategy would be something along the lines of the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." I'm not religious, but I really like that line, too, I should remember it or even write it down somewhere. I grew up in a household where both parents were chronic worriers, especially Dad, and seeing as I inherited most of his traits, didn't really stand a chance. With a lot of help though (and hard work), you can learn to change the way that you are, or more specifically, the way that you think, for it is all about learning to master what goes on in your head. If you can do that then you can also change the way you feel, for feeling comes from thought. A lot of what we think isn'r out anyway, but it is baggage inherited from our parents and peers - in other words, it isn't ours to begin with. I had a few spiritual teachers before I met Coran, but he has been by far the biggest influence on my life with his insights into so many things - sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself. Parents who are cronic worriers, that rings a bell... I can't even sneeze or cough, just once, without my Mum asking me if I'm sick. Good thing I'm aware of this now and don't have to go into all that myself. You're absolutely right: we can't change our genes or our parents, but we can help the way we act and react ourselves. It takes time and patience but so do most things in life that are of any real importance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Preece Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 I think it most definitely counts as a strategy. I think it's great that you imagine all possible outcomes and prepare yourself for them. You know what they say (I don't remember the actual phrasing): A well prepared job is a job half done. I'm not religious, but I really like that line, too, I should remember it or even write it down somewhere. Parents who are cronic worriers, that rings a bell... I can't even sneeze or cough, just once, without my Mum asking me if I'm sick. Good thing I'm aware of this now and don't have to go into all that myself. You're absolutely right: we can't change our genes or our parents, but we can help the way we act and react ourselves. It takes time and patience but so do most things in life that are of any real importance. Yes its true, parents are cronic worriers. I'm always worrying that my too lads are okay. Strangely, they keep asking me if I'm okay. I guess its team work when they get to a certain age, with a mutual level of respect. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vodkafan Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I just think: Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right it's not the end! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissy Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 I just think: Everything will be all right in the end. If it's not all right it's not the end! Love it, love it, love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Preece Posted September 18, 2011 Author Share Posted September 18, 2011 Love it, love it, love it! Life is full of challenges and no two challenges are exactly the same. The secret of these challenges is knowing how to manage them. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vodkafan Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Life is full of challenges and no two challenges are exactly the same. The secret of these challenges is knowing how to manage them. Steve That's great what's the secret? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleW Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Wouldn't live be easy if one knew it? Never having any problem anymore? Or just boring and unfulfilling? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Preece Posted September 19, 2011 Author Share Posted September 19, 2011 That's great what's the secret? I can't tell you, its a secret Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paun Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I pray and read Bible and trust God and so even if problem big problem I can be strong and never afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weave Posted September 21, 2011 Share Posted September 21, 2011 I am a worrier, always have been but I worry about the most mundane things and handle the big things as well as I can and everything usually works out, there's always a way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Preece Posted September 22, 2011 Author Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm currently managing a highly stressful £3 million IT Project at the moment and it does come with lots of pressure. At one point I found myself more than fed up with barriers that got in my way. My expression of "Everyday is a new experience" has helped me to over come these hurdles. As I make the journey to work each morning I say to myself, "I wonder what experiences I will gain today". Now, life has become exciting once again. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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