Pablo Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 (edited) "I always find it amusing that people are so desensitized to killing and violence and gore in both books and movies, but sex actually warrants a discussion and/or discomfort." Now that's an interesting point. I think the reason may be that we see violence (news, arguements, fighting and, for that matter, hear bad language (school, workplace, socially) everyday so, yes, we seem desensitized to it. Sex on the other hand is very covert and private, encouraging curiosity. Edited February 2, 2010 by Pablo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nollaig Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I agree that those are the reasons each event is treated in the way that it is, but it's still a bit messed up. Unfortunately the level of exposure you described is accurate in real life, but when it's fiction, and being written or portrayed for entertainment purposes, it's a bit sick to think violence is more acceptable than sex. I can understand a level of both discomfort and acceptance for both - I have a high acceptance level for both myself in fiction, but less for violence than sex, and that sex should be the more censored of the two is just messed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinay87 Posted February 2, 2010 Author Share Posted February 2, 2010 I have a high acceptance level for both myself in fiction, but less for violence than sex, and that sex should be the more censored of the two is just messed up. You know I was wondering the same thing myself. To an effect, violence is what should cause us more discomfort. But we all love a war scene detailed to a notched blade, don't we? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookJumper Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 It can't be that censored, given it's everywhere. By everywhere I mean that an average two out of three books I buy gets charity shopped unfinished for the reason at hand - surely the topic can't be disapproved of that much by the world at large if it's near impossible for people like me to avoid it. To be honest, I'm no fan of gratuitous violence and gore, either - that's why I like gothic and physichological horror but don't think much of the splatterfests that are so popular nowadays - however, may I hazard a further guess as to why sex seems to bother some people more than violence and gore do? Quite far from being something we're not used to, it's something some people are far too used to. While it is true that sex is a fact of adult life, it is by no means a serene affair for people everywhere. My own avoidance of sex in books/films/even songs stems from experiences I don't want to relive more than is necessary; I know I'm a pretty extreme case but let me tell you, it is by no means isolated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinay87 Posted February 2, 2010 Author Share Posted February 2, 2010 Haha I usually put down a lot of books because of the same reason. Makes me feel like the author put it there on purpose. I had G R R Martin's The Game Of Thrones with me for four years before I read it completely. He now falls under what is acceptable sex to me in fiction. But his gore is a little off the charts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nollaig Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 My opposition to violence might not stem from my personal experiences, but it stems from my human nature. There will always be exceptions, my point is that perfectly normal sex (not like, say, that in The End Of Mr. Y because that was about having a masochistic nature) is more likely to cause, say, a topic discussion on a book forum than the nature of the endless crime, thriller, horror and dark fantasy novels which engage in graphic violence. Personally, I've read very few books with sex that I felt was over the top and a defining factor within the book, and I've read a lot that have made me cringe or put the book down due to graphic violence. Neither disturbs me, and I myself have had more negative experiences with sex than with violence, but violence is more unsettling for me because it's not in my nature as a human. Sex is. And I don't get why sex causes a bigger hubub among unaffected people than violence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylie Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I don't have a problem with sex at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbielleRose Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I don't have a problem with sex at all. I agree, as long as it enhances the overall storyline. If there is several random sex scenes that just don't do anything for the story then it gets a little repetitive and annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ethan Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I recently read a book called Await Your Reply by Dan Chaon, which I liked very much. One of the plot strands depicted a female high school student running off with her charismatic English teacher after her graduation. They spend many weeks together in a secluded country home, and though a sexual relationship was implied, the sex described never got farther than an occasional caress to the thigh. This reticence on the part of the author struck me as bizarre, seeing as this was the girl's first experiences, and I would have thought some passion would have been appropriate. So, in this case at least, I found the lack of sex to be a bit disturbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanC_84 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I don't have a problem with sex at all. Yep, it doesn't bother me one bit either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freewheeling Andy Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I don't mind, and often rather enjoy, sex - even gratuitous sex - in books. It's fine, in the same way that describing how a character is cooking dinner is. It provides a sensual texture, even if there is no direct plot-purpose to the sex. The only sex I don't like is bad sex (and that's true for sex in books, too). There is, though, an additional problem which I was going to bring up on the Cool Books thread. People were talking about looking over shoulders to see what others are reading, and sometimes on the tube I'm reading a fairly literary book, and suddenly I'll find myself reading something really rather kinky and weird which has sneaked in. And that's when it gets uncomfortable - thinking there's some doddery old granny, or gothy teenager, or severe jehova's witness woman, looking over my shoulder thinking "what a filthy perv! Reading that stuff in public." So, the book comes a bit closer to me and I lean further back into the chair as I try and make it harder for anyone to read over my shoulder. I always feel I look very weird at this point, and it's completely "obvious" that I'm a dirty old man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missybct Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I am sort of mixed about sex in books. Sometimes it makes me feel uneasy, usually if it's in there for no other reason than to titillate the reader and does not flow with the general premise of the book. I can't think of a specific novel off the top of my head which panders to that format (it's 8am and I didn't sleep well) but as a general rule I will usually give those kinds of books a wide berth. For instance, I've never read Belle De Jour, possibly may not be as explicit as it hints at, but I think I'd just feel uncomfortable with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kell Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Just wondering what people consider gratuitous sex?Just a general idea, no need to go into detail. To me, gratuitous sex scenes would be those that did nothing to further or enhance the story. If it doesn't accelerate the plot then there's no need for it and it tends to be sensationalist space filler used by the author to pad things out and add a bit of spice. That said, some excellent books are all about the sex - Fanny Hill by John Cleland is a superb example of sex being the story and it is beautifully written. It is very explicit in places, but it all goes to establishing character and furthering the plot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Univerze Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I have do say though i don't agree with the Laurell Hamilton take on sex in her books I did like the early Anita Blake books but then it just became the whole story so i stopped buying them. Okay, I said I liked the Laurell Hamilton books but I have to agree with you on the later books, I like sex in books, but some of the later ones have just too much of that in it, not that it's too much sex by itself, and the sex doesn't always have to be necessary for the plot but when the plot suffers on the amount of sex, well yeah, that's when I object. And that's the case with the later books.. keep hoping the next one will go back a little bit to what they used to be so I keep buying them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickle Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Well let me know if they do get any better I think i made it as far as number 10 but I know there may have been a couple after that by now.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 The only sex I don't like is bad sex (and that's true for sex in books, too). It doesn't bother me in the slightest, although I agree that sometimes it can become boring when it goes on and on. I haven't actually read that many books with sex scenes in, but that's more to do with the type of books I read than anything but if it's there, then it's fine by me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Univerze Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Well let me know if they do get any better I think i made it as far as number 10 but I know there may have been a couple after that by now.. Yeah, they're up to number 18 now, just came out yesterday. I'll buy that one when the price drops a little, call me crazy but I think 20-ish euros for a paperback is insane. :motz:But honestly, if you think by number 10 (Narcissus in Chains) it's bad, you really won't like the rest of the books so far. However, reading the blurb on the new book, seems she's getting back to her Necromancer thing, which is good. Don't know who said this somewhere in this discussion, but as I don't mind when sex IS there, I can get annoyed at when it isn't.. not in all books, I mean if it's not needed for the book, if it's not about any form of romantic relationship, fine. But sometimes you read these books, where you get the feeling the author is trying really hard to avoid any mention of sex.. which in my opinion, is weird when the story is about two (or more) people that love eachother, feel attracted to eachother, but where there's barely hinted at sex. Feels like you're cutting out a normal, and in my opinion, very valuable piece of life. Feels like one of these films, where they do the "tasteful" fade-out whenever there's a sex scene coming.. one minute you see them kissing and the next, tadaa, cuddling. I don't need to see the whole thing (I wouldn't mind either to be honest) but something more than that, come on. Anyway, feel the same about books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anika Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 It doesn't bother me at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Okay, I said I liked the Laurell Hamilton books but I have to agree with you on the later books, I like sex in books, but some of the later ones have just too much of that in it, not that it's too much sex by itself, and the sex doesn't always have to be necessary for the plot but when the plot suffers on the amount of sex, well yeah, that's when I object. And that's the case with the later books.. keep hoping the next one will go back a little bit to what they used to be so I keep buying them. Same here, I keep buying and hoping and being disappointed. I agree that it is very weird to read a book when the auther is avoiding the sex even though the plot calls for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueK Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 (edited) I don't mind provided it doesn't hamper the plot in any way. As I tend to read a lot of whodunnits I don't expect to find too many sex scenes and you certainly wouldn't find any in stories connected with my chap on the left:mrgreen: I think is also a question of how well the scene is written. I read an article in the guardian (I think) on bad sex scenes in books and how ever good the author may be in other styles, the sex scene was badly written or very gauche. I'll try to dig out the article if I get a moment. The worse sentence I ever read went something along the lines of "he tore at her body like a thief"; purrllleeeease:lol: Edited February 3, 2010 by SueK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 The worse sentence I ever read went something along the lines of "he tore at her body like a thief"; purrllleeeease:lol: I don't even know what that means! But it sounds painful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 To be honest, I don't like sex in books and am known to avoid books/stop reading books that are full of it/particularly graphic. I don't think it is needed - just like I don't think swearing is needed either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicola Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 The worse sentence I ever read went something along the lines of "he tore at her body like a thief"; purrllleeeease:lol: I don't even know what that means! But it sounds painful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlette Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 There is, though, an additional problem which I was going to bring up on the Cool Books thread. People were talking about looking over shoulders to see what others are reading, and sometimes on the tube I'm reading a fairly literary book, and suddenly I'll find myself reading something really rather kinky and weird which has sneaked in. And that's when it gets uncomfortable - thinking there's some doddery old granny, or gothy teenager, or severe jehova's witness woman, looking over my shoulder thinking "what a filthy perv! Reading that stuff in public." So, the book comes a bit closer to me and I lean further back into the chair as I try and make it harder for anyone to read over my shoulder. I always feel I look very weird at this point, and it's completely "obvious" that I'm a dirty old man. I can relate so much to that. In high school - reading Anne Rice during recess and subtly cocooning myself around the book trying to cover up the sexy bits. And, now, even though I'm older, I still do the exact same thing when something kinky sneaks into the storyline and I just happen to be reading in the presence of other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charm Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I don't mind sex in books at all, it's part of life. Which is just as well really as the series I'm reading at the min has lots of it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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