ned

that's excellent

it is also the reason so many fans wear the scarfs, you get fitted with one when you buy a season ticket, if you try to leave the ground before the end of the match it's goodbye head

Benitez has a bad beard but it's no competiton to Adrian Chiles, that is just wrong And the scarf, maybe he is trying to cover one of those special collars the prisoners wear in the running man. "Finish in the top four or we detonate it."

In The Night Garden (my niece is watching it)

Well 3 - 0, it's not 9 but it's still a bit of a thumping

hello

It'd be great if a bobble on the pitch caused them to lose, they really deserve to for playing on a pitch like that, not only is it unprofessional but also dangerous for the players

While visiting an old and spooky country house, a lady confided in the guide that she was terrified of ghosts and dreaded meeting one on the tour. To reassure her, the guide informed her that in all the years he had worked at the house, he had never seen a single ghost. "And how long have you worked here?" asked the woman. "Three hundred years." Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm Two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristians home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.' Kristian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.' Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'........ 'I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian' I said to the wife " if I put slimfast in your knickers, will it make your bum slimmer?". Next day I woke up and noticed that my boxer shorts had powder in them. I said to my wife " have you put talc in my boxers?" , she replied "no, its miracle grow"

"your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries"

Stone ?

found the inventors of the game http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hr2DABUrTE

Apparently it helps the stone to go further and straighter.

I don't think anybody like Robbie Savage

I watched that last week, i was rather surprised how much i enjoyed it

The Bubble

Qi xl...

over 50 pages into Yes Man by Danny Wallace

can i come to your house for tea? Without the chicken?

Thumped by Everton i think that was the game that gave Chelsea the league

Peanut M&M's

Final Score from Northern Ireland

No i meant the sausage rolls, the teacakes actually doesn't sound too bad.

How do you even discover something like that? Alcohol had to be involved

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/8524079.stm Bad news for Scottish clubs

Did you ever see the video of Cristiano Ronaldo beating a Bugatti in a race? That is pretty awesome