Hi all, I’ve been following your discussion with interest, even if I haven’t been very active over the past week, due to an assignment. Now that is thankfully out of the way, so I can participate more actively!
I’m doing this on Word, as it’s going to be a long answer, so the quotes will be in red...
Frankie says:
A thought that came to my mind at some point: I had problems with the names Clare and Alice, I sometimes thought of Jonathan's Mum when I was reading Clare's thoughts and vice versa. I came to realise that the two names have so many alphabets in common that it might be the reason behind my confusion. Then I started to think if this was intentional on Cunningham's part, and I went even further than that: I began to think maybe Clare is the mother figure Jonathan left behind when he left for college. The one he grew annoyed with, partly because she was interrupting his and Bobby's alone time and partly because Bobby didn't seem to mind, he actually welcomed her company. Maybe on some subconscious level Jonathan needed a new mom figure in his life and Clare offered him that
That’s a really interesting point. Actually, if you think about it, both these women are quite hateful in their own way. They are both selfish, want to “possess” Jonathan, and are quite unhappy with their own lives. They have both rebelled against their parents, with very different outcomes – while Alice is holed into an unhappy marriage in a small backwater, Clare has had different lovers and has moved to a buzzing city. I’m not sure I agree with the fact that Clare served as a mother figure; I think she was more of a counterbalance to him – she was full of life and colour, while he was very bland and cautious...
Frankie says:
In my opinion, one could say there are two families, sometimes separate, sometimes overlapping, in one's life. First there is the family one grows up in, whether it be a 'normal' family, a foster home, some kind of institution. The second family is the one you make for yourself when you move out and start your own life. It's not only your partner and the possible children, but your friends who you go to and who come to you when in need. It's the people you WANT to spend your holidays with.
I think the book is basically saying families come in all different shapes and sizes, and it's not only about blood lineage. It is saying that a family life is not always continual, it's a complicated, ever-growing, ever-evolving mixture of people who touch your life daily. In the end, a family is something one can define for themselves.
I completely agree with your take on this Frankie – I find this is very true to life. While you are inevitably linked to the family you are born into, you move on to have your own family and circle of friends, who sometimes get to know you much more than your own parents / siblings. Jonathan, Bobby and Clare made their own family which worked well for them; actually much much better than any of their own families.
Frankie says:
Did anyone get the sense that Jonathan felt already during his childhood that his mother was suffocating him? Not that I'm questioning the suffocating, I'm just wondering when Jonathan made this discovery.
I don’t believe that Jonathan ever expressed that he feels suffocated by his mother... he is definitely annoyed when she tries to impose her presence on his friendship with Bobby; I get the feeling he consciously chooses to go to a college far away, and he doesn’t go back to his home town, his visits to his parents’ house are few and far between... I get the feeling he tries to live his life away from his mother; I never get the impression he is trying to put distance between himself and his father...
This is the first time I have participated actively in a reading circle, and I’ve really, really enjoyed it! I’ll stop here for now as otherwise it will be a never-ending post... more to follow