Talisman
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Posts posted by Talisman
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I hope you feel better soon
. Good luck with the talks.Thanks Athena. At least my own Manager has the day off on Monday. His mother in law is getting married this weekend, so the whole family will be having a big celebration. This means that they will probably get someone else (either HR or the Department Head, who is back from his own holiday also on Monday) to do my back to work interview. It will a hell of a lot easier to be honest with someone who is not at least partly the cause of the problem !
There is one good thing about being off work though - I have done heaps of reading.
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Glad you enjpyed the talk with your sister Athena, and I hope the ankle feels better too Virginia.
I have been off work since Tuesday feeling absoutely exhausted by it all. I shouldn't really have gone in on Monday, but against my better judgement I did. I didn't sleep at all that night though and so by the time I did get up at 6am I knew I was in no fit state to go to work, let alone try driving there. The sleep issue has been ongoing for about 5 years now. Because it started at a time of different unrelated stress I put it down to that, and although it did get better for a while, it has been like this on and off now since that time. This is what makes me suspect that there be another underlying cause for this (most likely menopause, I am exactly the right age for this, and I have noticed a few other changes as well that typically relate to this), so I have asked to have some blood tests done to try and get to the bottom of it. It could really though be any number of things. This though and the combination of the stress from the current situation at work finally got a bit too much. The heatwave that we had on Tuesday when the temperatures hit 34 degrees didn't help either - at one point my own temperature was 102 degrees and I know that Coran was very worried about me. The main problem really though is the lack of sleep - if I could just get a good nights sleep then I would have the resources to deal with all the other stuff. The doctor has also given me a short term dose of sleeping tablets to try and help with that while I wait for the blood tests next week.
When I do go back to work on Monday though it will be time for a very straight and honest talk with a few people, as it is clear that things most definitely cannot go on as they have been. One way or another it will get sorted out.
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I do too Athena, which is why I have encouraged him to do so. I have suggested to him that he makes lists for himself, as even for someone without ADHD it can be helpful, but so far he hasn't taken this on board. When he told me about his condition (and it is good that he did, as it means he feels he can trust me) he said that most of the time he manages to control it, but it is clear to me that this isn't true. I know that other members of my team have mentioned things to the Department Head who is my Managers boss, and I had a chat with him myself about my own concerns before I knew that he had this. I feel a bit bad about the fact that I did this now, but of course at the time I didn't know what the reasons were. It goes without saying that my Manager doesn't know that I did this. Issues have been raised about his time keeping as well, although he seems to have this under control now, and the cleaning standards in general. He has his 3 month review soon and I would be surprised if this wasn't extended. I think he is worried about the consequences of not disclosing this sooner, and in a way he is right to be concerned, but if he doesn't I can see that things will only get worse. The place I work at is a centre for adults with disabilities, and at least some of them probably have ADD and ADHD, so it isn't a new thing for them. If anyone is going to be understanding then they will be. He has to tell them.
I am feeling better and a lot more relaxed after a day off though, and should hopefully be okay to go back to work tomorrow, knowing that our gardener is going to be working with us. I have a spa appointment later on this afternoon which should help - 3 hours soaking in the whirlpools and saunas. There is nothing like a good steaming to get all the tension out of your body.
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I am trying to Virginia, but I won't pretend that I find it easy. By the time I got home yesterday I was completely physically and emotionally shattered by all of it. The last time I felt like that was when I left the first nursing home I worked in at the beginning of 2012, which was run by someone I can only describe as a sociopath and a bully. This is a real wake up call for me that I have to do something about the stress levels. Coran thinks I should see the Doctor and try and get a week off myself, but I am loathe to do this, as I know that the problem will still be there unless I actually talk to them.
What doesn't help is my Managers ADHD. Most people think this affects only children, but of course if you do have this as a child, you don't grow out of it. You have it for life. His behaviour can be extremely unpredictable and inconsistent. He is brilliant as a Manager, saying and doing all the right things to support me with training and of course my bid for a pay rise, but when it comes to the actual workload it is a different story. He seems to need constant reminders as what needs doing and seems not to be able to prioritise, or a lot of the time, do the work effectively. There seems no attention to detail, or attention perhaps to the wrong details - dusting the top of doors for example, which can't be seen, but not cleaning the tops of the bins which can. He is also constantly on the radio bending by ear, asking me to do things etc. He told me in confidence that he has this condition, without disclosing it to his own boss or HR, but I can see that it is causing problems. I have advised him to tell them, as he has 3 month review coming up soon, and as it stands it looks likely that this will be extended. Once they know about his condition, they will then be able to help with it and understand why he behaves this way, but if he doesn't, I can see that it will only lead to more problems, for everyone concerned.
It really is not a good situation there at the moment there, and I will be glad when I do finally get a week off to go to Prague in 3 weeks.
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I had a meeting with HR today, which went surprisingly well. We looked at his and my job specs and compared the differences to see which of the extra tasks that he is paid more for I am already doing. It turns out that there are a quite a few of them and I am being trained and getting some experience in the rest of them. They have agreed then to review my job spec. They have also as a temporary measure increased my Managers hours to full time and offered our gardener who has also on occasion helped with the cleaning an extra 2 days a week to help us out. At the moment he works 3 days a week in the garden, so he will also now be working full time (3 days gardening, 2 days cleaning). All of this will be paid for using the money that they are not having to pay my colleague who is now on SSP. The CEO has also suggested that I should receive a good will bonus with whatever is left over - the exact sum of which is to be confirmed.
Once my Department Head returns from holiday on 22nd he will review my job spec and see what can be done to increase my wages on a more permanent basis. He is a good man who knows how hard I work and with whom I get on with very well. I would be very surprised then if things did not go my way. I may not get all of what I asking for, but I am reasonably confident that there will be something on the table, which has lifted a great load off my shoulders.
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A few more countries to add to the list that I have completed in the last month or so:
Written in Black by KH Lim for Brunei
Land of Love and Drowning by Tiphanie Yanique for US Virgin Islands
Secrets of the Vatican by Cyrus Shahrad for Vatican City
I am currently reading My Heart Will Cross the Ocean by Kadiatou Diallo for Guinea
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Brown Girl in the Ring - Boney M
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I am absolutely shattered. After 6 weeks the stress of being a man down at work is now beginning to show. It looks set to continue for a while yet as my colleague has been signed off this time until October 2nd. The problem is that I have a week off starting October 2nd and when I return, my Manager has 2 weeks off, meaning that he will be on his own for one week, and I have to cover the entire site on my own for the 2 weeks after I get back. It won't feel as if I have even had a holiday after that.
The two of us are doing what we can, but the cracks are beginning to show and will only get wider the longer this continues. In the midst of all of this I have requested a long overdue pay rise. My colleague who is off sick has a slightly higher and better paid position than myself due to the fact that he has some extra responsibilities. I have though been doing a lot of those things as well for some considerable time, and now that my Manager is training me on how to do the ordering (my colleagues main extra responsibility - I placed my first order today), I feel that I should be being paid the same as him. Bear in mind that he is sullen and uncooperative, and doesn't do his job that well anyway - I have in fact been picking up the slack for him and papering over the cracks more or less since I started there. After 2 1/2 years I am tired of this situation and am determined to do something about it.
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You are making good progress Janet. Well done.
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I haven't been to any music gigs in ages - the last one I think was Sigur Ros at Wembley about 3 years ago. They have recently announced some dates in the States for next year, so I am hoping there may be a new album soon with some dates in London, or better still their native Iceland. If that happens, I will be straight online booking a flight to Iceland.
I am not sure if this counts as live music, but I am going to Prague in about 4 weeks time (4 weeks today in fact) and have booked a ticket for my first ever opera (Rigoletto), which I am really looking forward to. It's something I have always wanted to experience, and it's so much cheaper out there, so it was too good an opportunity to pass up.
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I have a Motorola Moto E which I paid about £70 for about a year ago now. Before that I had a very basic smartphone made by Vodafone. It didn't have nearly enough memory on it for my needs, hence the need for a better one. I am very happy with it. It works well, and has all the storage capacity that I need. I chose to buy the phone outright rather than having a contract as I am not one of these people that feels the need to constantly upgrade to a bigger and better one, so it is better value for me to buy the phone outright rather than leasing it, which is what contract phones effectively are. I have a SIM only contract with Vodafone for which I pay about £10 a month. I have getting through a lot more data though recently so may decide to upgrade to their next highest plan, which costs about £2 a month more. There are other networks that are cheaper, but Vodafone is about the only network that has a decent signal where I live, and in other remote areas which I tend to visit, so it is probably better that I stick with them.
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Are you sure he has ADHD? Another thing is he may not appreciate your wanting to help him, has he asked? If he has achieved a management level job he is presumably dealing with his own problems. I am just throwing this in. Read a book by all means
Yes - he has told me this himself. The reason I want to help him with it is because others in my team have noticed and commented on his sometimes erratic behaviour and raised concerns with his own Manager. I have noticed it too. Now that I know that he has this, it helps to explain the way that he often behaves and does things - the difficulty staying focussed on things especially and prioritising our workload. This is important with the other cleaner on what looks like long term sick leave, and the 2 of us having to share his workload. My Manager only works part time, while I work full time, so the bulk of the extra workload is falling to me. I do not know whether he has told his own Manager about his condition, and will not be the one to do so, but if he hasn't I can see that this may cause problems further down the line, as they will not understand the reasons for his seemingly erratic behaviour.
I did not prompt his telling me this, he just came out with it during the course of one of our many conversations about life, work and other things. This is a good thing as it means that there is a high level of trust there - trust that I do not intend to break. I just want to understand things a bit more so that I know how best to relate to him as both a human being and a Manager.
Thanks for the link chaliepud - I will have a look and see what is available here in the UK.
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I have recently become aware that one my work colleagues (my new Manager) has ADHD. Of course he is now a grown man in his 20's, but the symptoms still form part of his life. As with other conditions of this nature, it stays with you for life. I would like to be able to help him manage this a little, and also understand more, so I wondered whether anyone knew of any books on this subject. I was thinking more in terms of novels about those experiencing it than non fiction - something like My Dog Bites, or similar books about autism perhaps, where you get inside the head of the person experiencing this, only about ADHD. If anyone has any suggestions that would be very much appreciated - preferably I should add on Kindle.
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I finished book 57 last night. Aiming to read somewhere between 80 and 90 this year, which shouldn't be too difficult.
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Welcome to the forum Queens Knickers - I do love your name. If I ever changed mine I would call myself Big Pants as that's what I tend to wear !
I am looking forward to an extra day off from work, as it has been stressful of late with me picking up the slack while my colleague continues to be off sick. The hot weather we have had this week hasn't helped - the temperature at work topped 35 degrees on Wednesday, which is far too hot for me. I am one of these people that really feels the heat, so now the temperature has gone down by 10 degrees or so, I am much happier.
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Occasionally New Scientist if there is an interesting story, but apart from that I don't buy magazines at all. They tend to very poor value for money I find.
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Congratulations on the job Noll - that's a huge salary increase and you deserve it. I wish I could get one like that.
My colleague has been off work for 3 weeks now and has just been signed off for another 2, so I don't see him coming back to work any time soon. He is clearly not in a very good place and to be honest, I fear for his health now - both mental and physical. No one has seen him in any of the pubs during this time, which leads me to think that he must have been in hospital, having done some real damage to himself with excessive drinking. He has said some pretty nasty things to me during the time I have been there and is not my best friend, but I still wouldn't wish that on him. He is human after all and no one wants to hear of another suffering.
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That's brilliant Kell - I love the hair by the way.
I have been busy at work these past few weeks. One of my colleagues has been off sick for the past week with a urine infection. He's an alcoholic and only has one kidney anyway, so it doesn't look too good for him as things stand. He has been signed off work until Thursday next week, but I would be quite surprised if he came back at all.
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The Green Green Grass of Home - Tom Jones
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I won't be staying up to watch the opening ceremony tonight - with the time difference it's much too late for me. I will watch it on I player over the weekend though at some point. As for the events themselves - I will watch a lot of the cycling events - track and road especially and I expect the swimming as well and of course Mo Farah. The Paralympics will also be of interest, given that I work with disabled adults. Two of the clients I work with took part in the Special Olympics earlier this year, which is a little known event for athletes with learning disabilities. One of them got a silver medal for downhill skiing, which is great for an autistic lad who can't even speak.
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Countries read so far this year:
Butterfly Fish by Irenosen Okojie for Benin
Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Everest Conquest by Jon Krakauer for Nepal
Abyssian Chronicles by Moses Isegawa for Uganda
The Motorcycle Diaries by Ernesto Che Guevara for Argentina
Fractured by Clar Ni Chonghaile for Somalia
HHhH by Laurent Binet for Czech Republic
Beneath the Lion's Gaze by Maaza Mengiste for Ethiopia
The Dead Lake by Hamid Ismailov for Kazakhstan
Journey by Gheysika Adombire for Ghana
The Truce by Mario Benedetti for Uruguay
Our Musseque by Jose Luandino Vieira for Angola
The World of Yesterday by Stefan Zweig for Austria
A Father's Betrayal by Gabriella GIllespie for Yemen
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It has been quite a while since I posted a great deal on here, which has been for various reasons. It has though so far been a very interesting year. My Manager at work left at the end of April and I applied to be his replacement but sadly did not quite succeed. We have a new Manager though who has made some interesting changes that have challenged one or two people, but not me, as there were all changes that were very much needed, many of which I had already suggested myself. It is good then to see a lot of my idea being put into practise.
I had a week exploring the Gower Peninsula in South Wales during the 2nd week of July which was brilliant. Days filled with reading, walking for miles across deserted sandy beaches, exploring standing stones and burial mounds, and of course trying the local brews, which were really very good. I stayed at a converted lifeboat station right on the beach which was great fun.
Coran and I are going to Trans Pride in Brighton tomorrow as well which should also be fun and an interesting day out.
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I finished my 45th book of the year yesterday. I hope to complete somewhere between 80 and 90 this year and so am well on target to achieve this.
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All the ones that are not highlighted. As for the best read - far too many to mention.
What's Up in September 2016?
in General Chat
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I am glad you finally know Filip. I know that CF is very hard to live with, I have at least one close friend who also experiences this. Just knowing that you are being taken seriously and can put a name to what you are experiencing goes a long way.
I go back to work tomorrow after 6 days off. Part of me is looking forward to it but part of me isn't, but I know it needs to be done. It's only 2 weeks until I go to Prague anyway, which I am looking forward to. I know that if I hadn't taken this time off now as well, I probably would have been too exhausted to enjoy being there. I have my own blood tests to look forward to on Thursday, which I am not looking forward to - although I am hoping the results will confirm my suspicions as well - that I am becoming a wrinkly old crone ! We will have to see.