The Good Citizen Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 (edited) Ok, so my son is 14 he's a bright academic lad and an avid reader, he'd read the first Harry Potter book by his 7th Birthday and devoured most of the teenage section of Waterstone's which makes a christmas list always a challenge. While not wanting him to grow up too quickly I'd like to challenge him to read some more adult books, suitably themed of course so nothing explicit, but something that will open him up to themes other than teenage super spies and especially elves, dragons and Wizards. He is at that age though that whatever I suggest he will turn his nose up at. Films too he refuses to watch (I have a list of films I think he would love which would open his eyes a bit to cinema rather than popcorn movies but he has declared he doesn't like films grrrr). Music and Bands is the only way I seem to be able to relate to him culturally. Its a shame as I have always thought I had such a great back catalogue of culture in my head I'd love to one day pass on to him and he's hit his teenage years and asserting his own independence I guess. I have nothing against him enjoying the fantasy genre, I'd just like to share some of the great books and films I have watched down the years that I think he is ready to appreciate. So advice please! He is his own person and I respect that, if he watched something and said dad I didn't enjoy that at all thats fine but I wish he wasn't so closed off to the idea in the first place. (His mum thinks he is autistic - he isn't so thats by the by but he is an awkward independent little sod sometimes!). Should I just leave him be or do you have any ideas or recommendations books wise that might bridge the gap? I'd like to have more of a connection with him than just playing skyrim with him on the xbox for hours on end! Has anyone else similarly frustrated? Edited January 24, 2012 by The Good Citizen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissy Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 I think all you can do is to make books available to him, and then leave him to pick them up or not. My son would look at reference books, catalogues and manuals but wouldn't look at anything else. He's in his twenties now and reads voraciously, and we constantly 'save' books for each other and make recommendations to each other. Neil Gaiman, Jasper Fforde, Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams are four I would immediately recommend for their imaginative wit, and on top of that I would suggest maybe some band biogs or History of (Punk / Funk /Pop / Rock 'n' roll / whatever) type books may spark an interest. I like that you describe him as 'an awkward independent sod' ~ it bodes well that you know him and respect him, but want to open the doors to greater things for him still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Good Citizen Posted January 24, 2012 Author Share Posted January 24, 2012 He found Terry Pratchett himself and really enjoys them, I've suggested Douglas Adams but he hasn't read "Hitchikers.." yet. He's like that with food, he doesn't like Chinese, (he tried one dish once) his palate is limited to say the least! Thanks I'll take a look at Neil Gaiman and Jasper Fforde, maybe if I suggest something closer to his tastes first he will be open to other books I suggest. He read 'Animal Farm' and loved 'To Kill A Mocking Bird' which he had to read the first chapter of for School and read the whole thing in a couple of days. So I know he can appreciate other books, its just gettnig round that Teenage obstinance! (I thought it was all going to be sooooo simple!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadya Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Perhaps you could ask him to try a movie for say 15-30 minutes, if he still doesn't like it he can stop watching it. He might agree to that. If you tell your son something interesting about the topic of the movie, the time period or the main character, perhaps that might interest him. Children often learn something about history or other topics through movies and novels, so it's both enjoyment and education in one. Personally I don't think it really is that awful if your child is mainly interested in fantasy books. And who knows, perhaps he will have a different taste as he is older. He will read different books at school too of course and discover different genres. I think it's great that he actually does read books, no matter if it's fantasy. But that's just my personal opinion. If he likes humor, perhaps he could try a few pages of the Adrian Mole series by Townsend. Adrian Mole has Potter type looks, but a different character. There are some jokes about politics and society from back in the '80s-'90s which he might not understand though. Years ago I read a few Adrian Mole books to my daughter and had to explain a few jokes and tell her who Thatcher is. My son recently finished the first book of that series and couldn't understand all the jokes either, that has nothing to do with language, but just a different time which always happens when a book has social and political comment of it's time in it. Mostly it's about growing up, in the first book the main character says he is 13 3/4. Let him try the first pages, if he likes it enough, he can read the entire book. Adrian Mole isn't considered serious literature of course, but it's a first step to read something different from Fantasy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sofia Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 I would just let the movie play while he is in the vicinity somewhere, it may grab his attention at some point without you really trying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayley Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 I'm not a parent but you mentioned Terry Pratchett so I felt the need to join in Since he likes Terry Pratchett you could try getting him 'Good Omens' which is written by both him and Neil Gaiman. That's the book that got me interested in Gaiman Also what about 'nineteen eighty four' if he likes Orwell? I've always been more a fan of fantasy too and I really think he'll branch out to different genres on his own if he loves reading. A lot of books don't fit neatly into one genre anyway, there can be fantasy mixed in with horror or with mystery etc. then you start becoming interested in books with those elements and branching out. I think it's great that you play skyrim together! I love that game but my parents wouldn't even know how to turn the xbox ON! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ooshie Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 Hmmm, tricky. My son also was a very advanced reader, although he rarely picked up a book. In his earlier teens he enjoyed Philip K Dick books a lot, which are SF. He also really enjoyed the Chronicles of Amber, but that is Fantasy again of course. He is 16 now and reading a lot of philosophy Iparticularly Stoic philosophy), which he finds very interesting. I have hundreds of books around in all sorts of genres, but I have to admit I have never tried to guide him in what he reads, he just develops his own interests. In fact, it is probably the other way around, in that he introduced me to Philip K Dick and Roger Zelazny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Good Citizen Posted January 25, 2012 Author Share Posted January 25, 2012 I think he may have read the Adrian Mole series, I think his mother suggested it, so maybe its just me! I'll check though as it is a good suggestion, I think he could really relate to it. I have a few Philip K Dick books and suggested "Do Androids dream..", he just shrugs! I have no problem with his reading Fantasy its not as if I think its not worthwhile and thats what he enjoys. I would like him to just expand into reading something a little more grounded in the real world occasionally too. I've already lost him to his laptop. He's very self regulating to be honest, he wont watch horror films and anything with Violence in, he's quite sensitive in that respect but what I suggest I know are suitable to his tastes. He refused to argue a pro capital punishment stance in school debating society recently, his teacher tried to explain the benefits of arguing the counter argument to what you believe to understand opposing viewpoints but he refused flatly and she had to admit defeat which made me chuckle with a hint of pride. once he gets an idea in his head there is no moving him. As Sofia suggested though when I'm watching a film and he walks in he has in the past got engrossed and enjoy it, If I put one on while he is in the room though he walks out!? I suppose he is just finding himself at the moment, he has many interests both artistic and scientific but he often gets bullied at school, mainly because he reacts to taunts, its an all boys grammar school and having gone there myself I know how thick skinned you need to be and he isn't at all, although he is getting a bit better. I just worry he will live in a world of fantasy books and computers as a form of escape, where as a I think he has a lot to offer. He is a really kind and thoughtful lad and I'm of course very proud of him. I think I may suggest a book swap, I'll suggest something for him to read and he can suggest something for me to read, he might go for that. Thanks for all your advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrissy Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 (edited) The horrible thing is that as parents we often have to let our children find their own way, even when we can anticipate the problems they are likely to face. I was always reading as a child, and have never lost that. My son just wasn't that interested and I had to resign myself to him not sharing that joy of the world found through culture; books, films, art etc. I needn't have worried as he did find his own way to these things, but I'm glad I had already made peace with the likelihood that he wouldn't. He is in his twenties now, and my heart regularly aches for him when he heads in a direction that (to me) can only lead to grief /trouble/ angst. I can advise and attempt to guide at times from distance but he is like your son and he will walk his own path no matter what. Edited January 25, 2012 by Chrissy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Good Citizen Posted January 25, 2012 Author Share Posted January 25, 2012 True and thats the way is should be, I can't show him the way but I can guide him along his path I guess. He's always had an old head on young shoulders but we used to be thick as thieves and adapting to his adolescence has been trickier than I thought as he keeps his feelings hidden more now. I used to be able to read him like a book (good pun) now I wonder whats going on in his head. I guess sharing something like a discucssion on a book would be a good way to open up about a few things now and then. Its not as we are strangers under the same roof though, I suppose its just natural to worry regardless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Echo Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Don't worry about your son. Neither of my brothers enjoyed reading much as teenagers, especially my older brother. Now, at age 36, he's a total bookworm and he and I constantly exchange books and can go on and on discussing them. As long as your son's happy with what interests him, then that's just fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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