Continue the story.....

[itsmeagain]

nonplussed, adding' lucky girl, thuch a handthomme bloke, not a bit rudimentary nor rude; profethanull to a t, obthethed with thpudth, liketh chilli thauth, he'th....

Edited March 3 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

justh perfecth!'

'Johnny, can I have a word in private, please?' asked Rosie. We went outside.

She explained that while she encouraged me to have other interests outside the cat cafe, now she was pregnant she really needed extra help. If I was going to work elsewhere, she'd have to employ someone again and she was considering asking Clyde Piper to come back.

'What!! That slimy little worm?!!' I shouted.

Bunty poked her head out the door, 'Steady on old chap, you'll frighten the horses!'

'Well it's up to you, but ...

[itsmeagain]

you know I love books..'

'Who is the lisping librarian?', she asked, bitterness coursing...

[poppy]

through her voice.
'You mean Loony Petunia? Don't you worry about her, she's a bit of a bird-brain, but she pays well. You know we could do with the extra money.' This was rather unkind to Petunia and quite untrue, but a green-eyed Rosie was a gasket-blowing Rosie and to be avoided at all costs.
Unfortunately, Petunia was listening to our conversation through a crack in the door. She came bursting out and ...

[itsmeagain]

said,  ' now I am a lady of even temperament, I really like the cuth of your hubby's jib, so , honey bun, Johnny please  Johnny., remember the facth of my rebellion againsth bouthwois social norms...come..operathive word..to the Rosa Luxemburg boudoir at my flath .in 3....hours, and you are going...

 

Edited March 8 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

Rosie inflated like an irate little puffer fish.
'You ... you ... shameless little hussy! How dare you proposition my husband! And under my very nose! Johnny, that's it, we're leaving now, right this very minute!'
'But what about my potato and cuppa? I haven't had my lunch yet!'
She quelled me with a look and I reluctantly followed her. It was turning out to be a stink day, my dream job down the gurgler and deprived of a beautiful baked spud. Enough to make the most optimistic mouth and waggiest tail droop.
I waved dejectedly to Bunty and shook my head sadly at Petunia. Maybe I could ...

[itsmeagain]

visit her another time, of course by necessity only. The choice though..two delightful educated women both liking me..is this a dream? Reality is I never had been a success where the female populace were concerned,  a total flop was putting it mildly..still, Rosie was angry. ' You louse..you snake..carousing with a lisping librarian in some 2 bit bookshop, you'd better...

Edited March 8 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

forget about ever going there again! If I find ...'
And the tirade went on. I switched off at this stage and let my mind wander to happier things. I don't suppose there was anything to stop me baking a couple of spuds when I got home and we had a good supply of cottage cheese, sweet chilli sauce and spring onions ... I cheered up. I put Rosie's irascibility down to raging pregnancy hormones and let it all flow over my head. Maybe I could find another book store seeking employees. In fact, ...

[itsmeagain]

A quick check on my Android showed I was only 0.3 miles from Rooky's Rickety Reads, visits encouraged, especially if one likes birds. I feed half the bird population of my area a solid diet of nuts, seeds, dried worms, and other morsels, ' I am visiting Rooky's Rickety Reads', I announced. 

'So am I', she said, and so...

Edited March 9 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

off we trotted together. 

'I need to vet the other staff if you're applying here. You're too open to flattery, Johnny. You mustn't encourage flirty girls, they're little minxes with their great big eyes and lispy ways.'

I wasn't aware that I'd done any encouraging, and I was  sure Petunia actually had quite squinty eyes behind her horn-rimmed spectacles.  But it was no use arguing, I just said, 'Yes dear, I'll remember that in future,' and let my mind wander again. It was unfortunate that birds and cats ...

[itsmeagain]

don't get on.

Mr Quidzin, 43, an ex Army mechanic from Somerset,  was deputy manager.' Now I want to discuss staff with you', declared Rosie, a fearsome gleam in her eye, ' as HE is open to flirting..have you any MALE staff?', she asked, ' or is it all young floozy types, the one pint and am yours..'

' Kindly refrain from slander and accusations ', said Mr Quidzin, ' for a lovely girl, it's somewhat unbecoming..now let's commence after 3..1..2...3'

'Can I get a cup 

[poppy]

of tea?' I asked. 'We've come a long way.' Which wasn't strictly true but I thought it might diffuse the situation.

'Tea times are strictly adhered to here at Rooky's, 1100 hours and 1530 hours, on the dot,' stated Mr Quidzen.  'As it is only 1050 hours, you must contain yourself until then. The same goes for comfort breaks. They must be taken in your own time or pay will be docked.'

'I don't really think this position will suit, but thank you very much,' (for nothing)',  I added under my breath.

'Johnny!' scolded Rosie, as I walked out, ...

[itsmeagain]

' do reassure me that you'll work extra hours..somewhere oh somewhere..to feed little Digbeth , growing in here', and I was amazed it's definitely a boy and how....

[poppy]

was I supposed to be feeding him at this stage of the proceedings? Rosie was really getting quite dotty. I put it down to pregnancy hormones.
'If you keep coming and vetting every job I apply for in case some female you don't approve of works there, I'll never get a job! I was perfectly happy at the Cosy Book Nook. You had absolutely nothing to worry about with Petunia, she's just a silly, scatty thing. She doesn't hold a candle to you, darling, and never could.'
'Well, maybe I was being a little bit hasty. They did pay very well there.' Rosie was certainly going through a very unpredictable and volatile phase. 'Do you think,' she said ...
 

[itsmeagain]

' you could go back and ask Tootsie if you may have your job..I'm more than willing to play Repentant Rhona, dunce's school cap on tight, almost covering eyes that are downcast..I'll even do a jig of solemn repentance to Tootsie and her erstwhile companion, Lisping Laila..it's not exactly the crime of the sodding week, I mean look at the state of our schools, now Johnno that's a crime,

..

Edited March 14 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

I think I need to keep things in perspective. I feel a bit wobbly these days, Johnny, I'm sorry if I overreact sometimes.'

'It's alright, darling, I understand.' 

'But if you're going to work there, I want Clyde back. He's on the dole and happy to do work experience so it's win win all round.'

I groaned, was it all worth it if I had to put up with that little jerk again? I decided that ...

[itsmeagain]

on balance, it was definitely worth a go. After all, admiration, from whatever quarter, is a rarity for a bloke whose only feat of macho abolility was to down 4 baked potatoes and 3 whole 🌶 chillies at a raspberry picking event in Dorwich. I mean, life and it's vicissitudes, it's sufficient to make a grown man cry... 

[poppy]

especially accompanied by three Carolina Reapers. I cried for a week (sitting on the loo with a red-hot burning rear end) after that little exploit!

'I'll just pop around to the Cosy Book Nook and see if they'll take me back. It'll be pretty touch and go, after your outburst but I'll do my best.'

Rosie looked a little sheepish, but perked up saying, 'I'll give Clyde a ring.'

Petunia and Bunty took one look at me and ...

[itsmeagain]

ran in sympathy, crying with joy. 'Oh  how do you puth up with thath? If she can leth  a man do hith own thing life will justhgeht betther and betther.. itth....'

'Morticia, do you have any clue where my handbag is?', asked a blonde woman named Carole, an apprentice dentist from Plymouth, 'I'll need to...

Edited March 16 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

find it to pay for these books.' Included in her pile were 'Love At First Bite', 'Bitten, A Steamy Vampire Romance', 'Fangs, Vampire Spy Book' and 'Something To Sink Your Teeth Into'.

'So where exactly is the practice you're working at, Carole?'

'You'll find Morticia and me down Nightshade Drive. Would you like to book an appointment?'

'No, no,' I replied quickly, 'but I know someone who might.' You wouldn't get me within 10 miles of the place! But old Padre Cross could do with his buck teeth and halitosis looking at. I'd have great pleasure in ...

 

 

 

 

 

[itsmeagain]

sending a personal recommendation for Parson Cross plus Major Reginald Q Flowers, to hold each other in an embrace for support, as both are having trouble recently and both oh so desperate for fine carnivore teeth..'

'Yeth I undathtand...and I shall perthunly enthure thath what you thay with carried out....' said Petunia, chomping raw carrot while perusing tofu curry photos on Happy Cow.

'Now this....

Edited March 17 by itsmeagain

[poppy]

recipe here ... Fusion Zucchini Blossoms with Vegan Garbanzos Bolonaise and Kimchi Slaw.'

'Mmmmm,' I said.

'What a load of old rubbish!' Bunty wasn't having any of it. 'What you need is a good steak and kidney pie with lashings of tomato sauce! Put some colour in your cheeks and some lead in your pencil. You're far too skinny, girl!'

'Oh Bunthy!' Petunia giggled.

Meanwhile, back at Chez Feline ...

[itsmeagain]

 Clyde Piper was waiting for his heroine, Rosalyn, to light up his life and kindle certain desires of a distinctly carnal aspect; oh how he loved chatting to Rosalyn about life with his mother under the stairs at Professor Razzlegrub's abode, a blanket each, two square meals daily, his mother charged with being responsible for the cut of his hair, tidying his blazer; washing dog food and baked bean stains off his shirt; such halcyon days! Oh joy of joys; he dreamt that the old Mr Degrading, once of these environs,had taken his hook and moved to Wirkelrroodsvan, a Norwegian fishing village where roasted hake on toast was a summer treat for the privileged.

Oh...Rosalyn,the poor youth cried, not...

[poppy]

holding anything back, 'How can you squander your lovely self on such a useless drop-kick? Give him the heave-ho and join me and my devoted mother in a life of bliss at Professor Razzlegrub's luxurious residence.'

'Clyde! I will NOT have you bad-mouthing Johnny! He is the future Daddy of our little bundle of joy and the love of my life. I asked you to come back because you love cats and the cats love you, but ...

[itsmeagain]

trying to usurp Johnny will get you precisely nowhere. Get it ? Or go..', she said, marching off to the kitchen , returning with a soya cappuccino but zilch for him.

' I think I'll go', he announced, head down, ' as it never rains but pours', and, at that, whisked his body out the door faster than The Sun looking for scandal. Suddenly taken aback, Rosie rang that bookshop and asked for me.

'Oh sweethy,  Johnny with powdering hith nothe, ath ith  were...shall he call you back?'

'Yes please, Petal', replied Rosie, sadly lamenting loss of the days when I was in the ranch, alongside her, feeding Toots and the Maytals, her 5 lovely kittens, with meaty provender from ...

Edited March 21 by itsmeagain