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bev

Funny story & Joke Corner

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WHO DREAMS THESE UP?.............A lexophile of course!

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

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A colony of bats hanging from the roof of a large cave, start to wake up for their evening flight and search for food. The leader of the colony sees one bat on the floor of the cave, standing upright. 'What are you doing down there?' he calls. 'Yoga' came the reply.

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(This one is kind of more clever than funny but I didn’t want to interrupt the Limerick thread for it :))

 

6A989208-2F32-4B8D-8694-D1994C0ADBD8.jpeg


 

I thought other people might also enjoy these book summaries :lol: 

2EF7A868-DE6E-418C-8053-882FA86A5D23.jpeg

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28 minutes ago, Hayley said:

(This one is kind of more clever than funny but I didn’t want to interrupt the Limerick thread for it :))

 

6A989208-2F32-4B8D-8694-D1994C0ADBD8.jpeg


 

I thought other people might also enjoy these book summaries :lol: 

2EF7A868-DE6E-418C-8053-882FA86A5D23.jpeg

 

Love it!

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The limerick one is very clever and love the book summaries :lol: Wish I could think of succinct descriptions like those!

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2 hours ago, timebug said:

If you cannot find your dog, open the fridge door.
He’s standing right behind you.

This isn't just funny, it's also good practical advice :giggle2:

 

1 hour ago, poppy said:

The limerick one is very clever and love the book summaries :lol: Wish I could think of succinct descriptions like those!

Me too, I think Dante's Inferno was my favourite one :lol:. Although it's weirdly made me want to try Don Quixote...

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