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I have them all except I can't see the difference  in 1 and 4. :)

 

Got it, poppy is correct they are all different. :o

 

Edited by muggle not

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13 hours ago, poppy said:

Nos 1, 2, 3, 5, 6 and 7 are different

 

(lol I keep seeing more!)

 

edit: they're ALL different! :rolol:

you are correct that they are all different. However, one dog has it all with nothing missing.

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7 hours ago, poppy said:

Definitely both :)

 

3 hours ago, Madeleine said:

Both.

yeah, me too. they kinda jump out at you I think.

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Melania said the Donald converted her. 

 
Says she never believed in HELL until she married Donald. :D

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Deleted post as some people may take it the wrong way. :)

Edited by muggle not

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On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back,

the ten the monkey gave back,

and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.

For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.

For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.

And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.

I'm doing it as a public service.

If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch...

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12 hours ago, Athena said:

That's lovely, Muggle Not! :)

 

3 hours ago, Lau_Lou said:

That is brilliant :D

Thank you, thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it.

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I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one.  

 

A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant.  A warm seat in a public restroom is worse.

 

Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t the correct response.

 

Don’t irritate old people. The older we get, the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent.

 

Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought “Their cornbread isn't done in the middle.”

 

Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors.

 

“You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did."

 

I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

 

It turns out that being an adult now is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

 

I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.

 

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think “That can’t be accurate.”

 

I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

 

As I watch this new generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I’m sure of....it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

 

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday. 

 

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

 

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you.  I took her to Subway.

 

I picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid, he might be a serial killer?  I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

 

I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test... same thing.

 

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9 hours ago, muggle not said:

 

 

I picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid, he might be a serial killer?  I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

 

 

 

Funny ....especially this one :lol:

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9 hours ago, poppy said:

 

Funny ....especially this one :lol:

A man in a crowded pub, alone. 

He wants the toilet so bad. 

He wants his beer to still be there on return from voiding his bladder. 

Reaching for his inside pocket and withdrawing a pen, he writes on a fag packet, 'I spat in this drink.' 

Returning, relieved, it said on the fag box, "So did I.. I walked away with 2 of your fags too. '😅😊🤣

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On 4/19/2021 at 8:16 PM, muggle not said:

 

Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors.

 

 

My favorite.

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