Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Hayley

      Summer Supporter Giveaway   08/31/2020

      Going on a Summer Holiday (Sort Of...)     The summer giveaway for Patreon supporters is finally here and this time we're doing something a little bit different. I want supporters to tell me where you would go on holiday, if you could go anywhere. The winner will receive a bookish prize based on their answer!   Terms and conditions are as usual. Patreon supporters will be automatically entered into the giveaway and selected at random. As we're a little late this year the draw will be held on the second weekend of September. If you aren't currently a supporter but want to be involved in the giveaway you can sign up to support us here:   https://www.patreon.com/bookclubforum  
Virginia

Such a tragedy

Recommended Posts

I got a phone call at about 0300 this morning by a hysterical pregnant daughter. What set her off? She found out that a mutual friend of ours lost her daughter to suicide. The poor baby was only 12. She killed herself because she couldn't see any out from the bullying she was tortured with. I remember when she was born. I was taking a summer algebra class with her mother. Clarissa was an aspiring tat artist and her husband was in the Marine Corp. He got out and they opened a thriving tattoo business and went on to have two more beautiful daughters. Yesterday she and her husband experienced something no parent should EVER have to experience. They found their precious baby dead, at home. Our community is rocked. There are always stories in the news about this sort of thing, but as the cliche goes, "you never expect it to happen to someone you know."

 

What is it about kids these days that bullying and suicide seem to be the only choices they have? I have found one thing that rings loudly. The internet. I read comments made by some truly vicious and nasty individuals who suffer from "keyboard courage." They say the most awful things without a care about how it affects someone. Grown ups who bully raise children who bully but children tend to cover all the bases, they bully by cellphone, internet, school and in the community. I am saddened.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's awful news, Virginia. It is too easy for children to be bullied these days. It doesn't end at the playground anymore—it's like there is no safe haven because of the Internet. Such a young girl, too. I'm sorry for you, your daughter and your mutual friends.  :friends0:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow.. that's awful news :(, very sad. I wish you and your daughter and friends lots of strength to get through this :friends0:.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's terrible Virginia  :console: .  I was severely bullied throughout school and tried to commit suicide a couple of times.  I can't imagine how much worse it must be these days with the internet and mobiles.  My kids know two kids who have done the same thing in the last two years.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:( So Sorry Virginia. How awful and shocking. Kids these days are under so much pressure and technology seems to have made their lives more difficult in many ways. :empathy:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's absolutely terrible. Bullying was something that I experienced a little bit when I was at school, but at least in those days it ended once you were in your own home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Such sad news. I ache so much for the child that sees no alternative, and the loved ones left behind. A whole world of hurt.

 

I always feel a light dimming in the universe when such a sad thing happens.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Such sad news. I ache so much for the child that sees no alternative, and the loved ones left behind. A whole world of hurt.

 

I always feel a light dimming in the universe when such a sad thing happens.

Well said. I feel the same way and echo your post.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What everyone said.  :( 

What an awful thing to happen, even once.  But the horrible fact is that sort of thing is increasing, and will until some measures are taken to start true punishment of those bullies.  From what I've read in some news articles, they mostly get off scott free, with little to no repercussions. 

 

Deepest sympathies to you and yours, Virginia, and the families that endure this horror. :empathy:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's so sad. That it's possible for a child to feel there's no way out but suicide is heartbreaking. I don't know what else to say Virginia except I hope you and your daughter are ok, and know that everyone here is thinking of you and wishing you well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you.

 

They held a vigil at the middle school she attended. I couldn't go because I couldn't stand to see the raw and ravaged face of her parents, so imagine my horror when the local paper posted their picture on facebook. I dont have a problem with the story but they really could have shone a photo of the people in general. I will never forget that haunted look of her mother... And I would probably have sat there wondering who the students were that made her life a living hell. I have this strange feeling that they showed up last night.

 

One of her classmates posted a comment about how the kids managed to get away with it. I wonder how the school will respond. Her parents wont hold there tongue and they have a huge backing.

 

Our daughter suffers from bi-polar and it has always been a constant vigil to keep her from going that route. I think this was her wake up because she sees the suffering of her friend and our daughter is such a tender hearted person that everything affects her deeply. Hell, this affected me deeply.

 

The funeral will probably be held at her school. Its large enough to hold what will prove to be a huge crowd. When my niece and nephew were killed, their funeral was held at the local school. Good thing as at least a 1000 attended.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so sorry for your community's loss.  Such a sad and tragic thing to happen and like others have said, something that is happening more and more often these day.  I can't even begin to imagine what her poor parents are going through.

 

I was bullied throughout my last two years of high school, not physically, thank God, but by name calling etc.  It was never bad enough for me to even contemplate taking my own life but it did affect me in other ways.  By the time I was old enough to leave school my self esteem was at an all time low and although I have gotten a little better as I've gotten older, I still suffer from lack of confidence and as a result have very few friends.  I avoid social situations and spend most of my spare time on my own.  Even at work I'm not as outspoken or as outgoing as my colleagues and as a result I don't stick up for myself as much as I should do.  It's 16 years since I left high school and I'm still dealing with the aftereffects of the bullying I suffered but at least I only had to deal with it whilst I was actually at school - no social media or mobile phones/texts to have to deal with back then, thank God!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Terrible. So terrible and sad.  :cry:

 

I with child suicide didn't happen. They are not grown yet. Their brains are not developed yet, which means they are impulsive and living in the present and so on. We had a 14 year old boy committing suicide when I went to school. In the class under me. And a childhood friend of mine had to live though her mother's suicide. It's all so tragic. And all you wish is that you could have been there to try and stop it from happening, even though it had nothing to do with you. 

 

While the internet is an amazing thing, it does not always help. Many kids today are being buillied or harrassed online. As though it's not enough at school. Some just bully online because it's "easier". All parents should get involved with that their young children do online! You have a responsibility for the kid until he/she turns 18, which means that you can DEMAND to know, or refuse to give the kid allowance. At least up to when they are 15-16. And teach them all the dangers that they could potentially face when they are online. And always be supportive when they are feeling sad so they will come to you when something is seriously wrong. Not that that is easy. Children do tend to keep things from their parents, especially such things as bullying and who they have a crush on etc. 

 

But what they don't know is that their brain isn't ready until around the age of 25. That is when the frontal lobe has taken over and you are more likely to think rational. That is why I believe that parents should do their best to continue to function as PARENTS until their children are around 25. 

I see so many parents these days that 1) thinks their child could never do anything wrong 2) think children are mature when they are 16 and no longer in need of parents butting in. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My brother was bullied so bad , he was home schooled from grade 4 through High School.  And back then, there was no social media to contend with.

12 is so young.  So very young.  I'm so sorry.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry Virginia, what tragic news, thinking of you all x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×