Not sure how to chop up a quote. Anyway, on the first section, yes I do believe that unselfish love exists, though it is rare because it is more rational (or at least has the ability to be) than emotional. Yes, uncontrolled emotions are often selfish, which is my whole issue with emotional displays. Never mind making important decision based on feelings running rampant.
As for what people experienced as children; while it shapes us to a degree, everyone is free to analyze and assess and do make better choices. We're not put on an unchangeable set of rails for life which predestines our behaviour. Most things in life are nothing but habits, which one can step away from. But it means taking responsibility which many are unwilling to do.
On your third point, see above. As you say, not all bad actions are the result of malice. But they're usually "crimes" of omission, to question one's emotions and impulses.