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Older Fish

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About Older Fish

  • Rank
    Settling In

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  • Reading now?
    No. Just thinking about which book to start on next.
  • Gender
    Not Telling
  • Location:
    Stuttgart, Germany

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  1. The last one to post here wins

    What makes you think so?
  2. Do you find common sense amusing?
  3. Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, “I’m so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this…” “Don’t worry Steve, it’s not your fault.”
  4. The last one to post here wins

    It's too early to declare a winner. The battle has just begun. I still have a few good years left in my frail old body.
  5. A naked woman with big breasts robbed a bank. When the police interviewed them, none of the witnesses could remember what her face looked like.
  6. I have no home. I have no control. I can't see any escape. I don't see an alternative. I need a new keyboard.
  7. The last one to post here wins

    You have an ulterior motive? Nah, it won't work. Posts in game threads don't increase your post count. Ha-ha.
  8. Is it the question that is entertaining, or the comical misunderstanding?
  9. The last one to post here wins

    I guess I'd better let you win, since you really want to.
  10. Which part of "the answer is a question" don't you understand?
  11. The last one to post here wins

    I mean, really.
  12. A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."
  13. The rules are very simple. The last person to post on this thread wins. As of now, I am winning.