Leave me alone

[no-1-book-fan]

My mum is exactly the same. She loves her reading and needs time to herself upstairs, especiallly considering the fact she has depression. Then she can drift off into her own world and forget about her depression.

[pontalba]

I have a theory that those who dislike silence, actually dislike their own company. The reason I believe this is because we all have this voice in our heads, that sometimes nags and moans and cojoles (what some call the pain body or the ego, depending on which books you read). By having nothing but silence, you are forced to listen to it and confront it and people do not want to do this, they would rather block it out with music or television. This though does not work, for the simple reason that in order to look at the darkness, you have to turn on the light ! By sitting and walking in silence, I then have switched on my own light bright and clear and found that far from being fearful, the ego if used wisely and worked with, can be a great ally.

 

I can ascribe to that theory, I've long believed it. I need the silence as well, it's the only way I can hear myself think.

I'm fortunate in that my husband is a reader as well, and we don't have cable tv, or any tv coming into the house. We do have a television for watching dvds, and we enjoy that. No commercials! lol But we sit side by side reading for a good portion of time, and will occasionally read out loud to each other, interesting or funny bits.

 

I did somewhat learn to shut out tv noise when my Aunt was living, she had to have it going all the time, would even fall asleep with it, and as she was hard of hearing, it was loud. I can see now that reading with the noise was not as productive as silence though, by a long shot.

[Hyzenthlay]

I get this. I really do.

 

When I lived at home a few years ago, I would get completely absorbed in books while I read. Yet, for some reason, my parents thought it was a-okay to talk to me, give me instructions, ask me questions CONSTANTLY while I was submerged in my worlds of fiction. Annoying much? Very much.

 

It would escalate, sometimes, too. I'm not one to let things lie, so when patiently explaining that I didn't want to chit-chat didn't have much of an effect, I would tell my Mum (it was usually her) sharply that I was trying to focus and she was disturbing me. And when that STILL wouldn't sink in, I'd be mad.

 

And then she'd get offended and act like I was making a big deal out of nothing, when to me, it wasn't nothing. Oh well.

[pontalba]

I happened on an article that applies a bit to this topic. Introvert vs extrovert at any rate, a book coming out called Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking. http://www.npr.org/2012/01/30/145930229/quiet-please-unleashing-the-power-of-introverts?ft=3&f=100876926&sc=nl&cc=bn-20120202

Interesting little quiz at the end of the article.

[Devi]

I often miss being able to read in silence, but if it's the ringing in my ears or a fan that I have to listen to when its too quiet, I would rather the latter thanks.

 

It's a lot easier to ignore it when you have a white noise effect going.

Edited February 3, 2012 by Devi

[pickle]

I live on my own and therefore am very used to the silence and I love it!! I get irritated if I have to spend a long time in loud company not that I am anti social when I am out I am focussed on being out and its fine but when I am home its quiet and apart from talking to the guinea pigs at this time of the year I can go through whole evenings without saying a word. In the summer its a little different I sit in the garden and when you live in a terraced house its like sharing your space with the neighbours but we are a sociable bunch and have get togethers so I am used to them. I do find it odd that people can't be quiet its not something I have ever had to work at, I was quiet as a child and was often ensonced in a book happy to let my younger sister have all the attention she craved.

[Ruth]

It doesn't bother me if someone wants to watch a tv programme while I'm reading. I don't think I have any right to tell someone not to watch a programme because the noise might bother me. That's background noise, and is different (to me, anyway) that someone interrupting me and trying to ask me questions etc while I'm reading. I do dislike very noisy atmospheres though, whether I'm reading or not.

 

I suppose I'm lucky, because I can block out tv noise while I'm reading, but the way I see it is that someone has just as much right to watch a tv programme as I have to read my book

 

I totally agree though that I don't like it when people come up to me, and then ask 101 questions about what book I'm reading. If I see someone reading, I won't interrupt them. At work, I now go out for a walk every lunchtime for about 40 minutes, and take my book with me. I've mastered the art of reading and walking at the same time, plus I get lots more reading time in that way.

[Talisman]

Actually it's a bit of misperception that those who need their own space are introverted - in fact most of us love social interaction as much as the next person, but the difference is, that we like ours to have quality rather than quantity. A few really good friends rather than loads of acquaintances. The term that I prefer to use rather than introverted is sensitive, as that comes much closer to describing what such people are really about - sensitive to noise and strong smells for example, but more to anything from being bombarded by too much stuff all at the same time. This is an actual recognised trait, that I can certainly relate to.

 

If anyone is interested, I would recommend a very good book on this sibject called the Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N Arons.

[Ruth]

I can't read in the same room as the TV as it's too distracting. If I say I'm going upstairs to read, I get accused of being anti-social, but if I say I'm going to sit in the garden (not an option this time of year!) I'm usually OK. Don't know why one is acceptable and the other isn't!

 

I'll normally bring my book to work and read in my lunch hour. I even get to work a little early so I have half hour before I start.

Following on from my last post, I too have to agree that I don't understand why going upstairs to read is classed as anti-social, but sitting in the garden isn't! While I have no problem with someone watching tv while I'm reading, I also think it's perfectly okay to go out of the room to read, if the tv means you can't concentrate.

[bobblybear]

I usually need silence to read. If the TV is on, it's quite distracting (unless it's something very boring, which I can easily tune out). I've tried reading at my desk at lunch but I just can't concentrate. I'm too aware of other people around me, so I can't just tune them out. When I used to catch the train to work, I could easily lose myself in a book, but I haven't travelled by train in years and so seem to have lost the knack.

[ian]

Talk over their favourite TV programme - see how THEY like it!

[Chiara]

I'm usually not bothered by noises but I do find it very annoying when people are disturbing me when I'm reading. My mom doesn't understand that she can ask me everything she wants when I'm not reading, but when I am I would like to be left alone.

[vodkafan]

This is why I read in the bath - Dale understands that this is my "me" time and leaves me in peace, so I get about an hour of soaking and reading most nights.

 

That must be why you look so pink and clean in your avatar Kell!