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A question for men


paun

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I have friend from America and he say he wants to buy birthday card for friend who is man from Ireland. I said I never hear of man buying birthday card for man. Maybe if they are gay but not other people. he tells me this is common thing. So I did not believe ths and said I will ask men on book club forum. My friend is from California so maybe this is why.

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My husband sends cards to male friends and family members, although he usually gets me to buy them! :lol:

 

He and his brother tend to get funny or rude cards for each other, while he has a friend who loves Japanese art, so will often seek those out for him.

 

Different people do different things don't they? Sometimes it's a cultural thing, and other times it's just what one person chooses to do while another wouldn't. For example, you think it is quite a strange thing to do, and so does my Dad, whereas both my husband and my brother do send them.

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I don't honestly see why it's any kind of an issue in the first place, to me that's like asking someone why they wrap a present or put it in a small bag. I see no way in which homosexuality or geographical location would impact a decision about card-buying, and would imagine the fact that you raised those two points says more about you, than the card-buying says about your friend.

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Yes thank you for reply. My other friend reads this and says people do not understand what I am saying because most from England and do not understand about America or California. Someone on forum says this says something about me because I ask question which I think it says I do not know men who send birthday card which this is what I said first time.

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Card buying for birthdays is completely normal for male AND female - nothing to do with sexuality or geographical location.

 

Although, to be fair, if you are a single bloke and remember all your relation's birthdays every year you are probably a bit of a freak.

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LOL - true - most men that I know of tend to need a reminder from one of the women in their life (mum, sister, girlfriend, wife, mate, whatever).

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I agree with Kell on this one

Card buying for birthdays is completely normal for male AND female - nothing to do with sexuality or geographical location.

 

Couldn't phrase this better myself.

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I think not only different for men and women but about age too. I think young people at least men will do this more. Also I ask differenrt forums and more British men than American buys birthday cards for other men.

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Well, my Dad is in his 60s and has always bought cards himself for all friends and family members - male and female alike, so I don't think it's anything to do with age or sexuality (he's straight). I thin kit's more to do with personality.

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I think not only different for men and women but about age too. I think young people at least men will do this more. Also I ask differenrt forums and more British men than American buys birthday cards for other men.

 

This may come as a shock (at least to some people), but I'm a feminist and I believe we need to take down those social boundaries we put on men and women and how they are supposed to be. There's more diffreces between people in general than between genders and we need to take down those myths and ideas we have in our heads that some things are "feminin' and some things are "manly" and what is "normal" or "ok". When people do that, living life how you want to will become so much easier.

 

So tell your friend to buy a card for his Irish friend, if he is like every normal person he will really appreciate it and not think of it as gay or weird.

 

I was actually watching some bullshit TV show last night where people (with no professional knowledge what so ever) were discussing if a males interest in his girlfriends chlothes (as in he likes to see her in some type of clothes) would make him gay. Things like that I find very stupid, superficial and annoying. The fact that you want to discuss your delimma on diffrent chat forums is not strange at all if we look at those messages that are pointed at us every day that tell us what is normal and expected for men and women to be.

Edited by imma89
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I've never really met many guys who I'd WANT to send a card too, but I'd have no problem sending a card to another male, I am not too fussed about those kind of male macho archetypes though and quite envy the way girls can communicate on a somewhat deeper level than guys on things like that, so I think it is fine but it depends on the connection between the two I guess.

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I don't really send cards. I just phone my brothers and sisters up when (if) I remember it's their birthdays. I don't send cards to male friends. So perhaps the original poster has a point?

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I don't really send cards. I just phone my brothers and sisters up when (if) I remember it's their birthdays. I don't send cards to male friends. So perhaps the original poster has a point?

 

But if you would get a card from a male friend of yours, would you think of it as gay? Or feel weird about it?

 

If you don't, then I think that is the point. You might find it weird to send someone a card, but if you would get one yourself you would just be happy about it.

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I think it's just that men have a difficult time remembering anything, so remembering a pal's or mate's birthday would be way down on the list. He's got to keep all those strings on his fingers to remember the women in his life first, or there will be hell to pay. :P:lol:

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Its perfectly ok to get another man a birthday or Christmas card. Although the 'man-code' usually dictates that this be of an abusive or comic type of birthday card, no real rules for Christmas cards though.

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  • 1 month later...

I have friend from America and he say he wants to buy birthday card for friend who is man from Ireland. I said I never hear of man buying birthday card for man. Maybe if they are gay but not other people. he tells me this is common thing. So I did not believe ths and said I will ask men on book club forum. My friend is from California so maybe this is why.

There's nothing wrong with buying a card as long as you get the cover theme right. I.e. not Pink or a girlie picture.

 

 

Steve

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  • 2 weeks later...

But if you would get a card from a male friend of yours, would you think of it as gay? Or feel weird about it?

 

If you don't, then I think that is the point. You might find it weird to send someone a card, but if you would get one yourself you would just be happy about it.

 

Hi imma, no I wouldn't think it gay, but if I knew he was gay that would be fine too. Hey if a gay man wanted to buy me flowers and chocolates I'm easy with that. You are absolutely right. It is just that I am of an older generation and don't think of sending cards. I used to actually be a greeting card artist for a while and did designs for Hallmark etc back in the last century :wink:

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I would send people cards if my memory wasn't so lousy - case in point: I was told a yesterday that my niece's birthday was coming up, and that I must get her a card. I don't do the big holidays for the sole reason that it would take me a couple of weeks to write out all the cards I should be sending out. No cultural, social, religious, orientation or political affiliation information can be gathered from something as mundane as greeting cards = there are people who send angel scenes when they aren't Christian, so not even something like that is to be taken at face value.

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