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      July Supporter Giveaway   07/01/2019

      It's Christmas in July! The winner of the July Supporter giveaway will receive this beautiful Barnes & Noble edition of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, as well as a special Charles Dickens tea by  theliteraryteacompany.co.uk .   I've been keeping this book a secret for so long (I couldn't wait until Christmas!) It's actually from a really lovely independent bookshop in Hay-on-Wye, the town of books. I'm so glad I finally get to show you! The picture doesn't even do it justice. A nice feature that you can't see in this image - the page edges are gold and (an extra surprise for the winner) the back is just as beautiful as the front! We also now have twice as much tea as previous giveaways!  (Thank you Literary Tea Company!)   As always, supporters are automatically entered into the giveaway and a winner will be chosen at random at the end of the month. If you want to enter this giveaway but you aren't a supporter, you can join in here https://www.patreon.com/bookclubforum .   Good luck  
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"I may not know my ballcock from my ballbearing but I know a cock and bull tale when I hear one. Called your bluff..it's not a plumbing problem...I flooded the place and it's the ceiling needs repairing. Now kindly leave", said Gilby,

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'ang on a minute moit, I was gettin' to that. Oim pretty 'andy with the odd bit of plastering and I can fix yer ceiling in a jiff! Loike I said, if yer ballcock 'adn't got stuck, yer 'eader tank wouldn't 'ave overflowed, and flooded yer roof 'ere. That's where yer problem lies, moit!'

Gilby was now rather unsure, 'How much would you charge? I want a fixed quote, now, none of your trumped up prices at the end !'

'Don't pay a cent over a thousand, Gilby, I've seen these shifty workmen before!' Cath interjected.

'Just the figure I was thinking of, moit, whattaya say?'

Gilby, who was thinking more of the five hundred dollar mark, sucked in his breath and said ...

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"Take me round and show me your work" said an exasperated Gilby, following Darren about the regal mansion.Muffle began to..

Edited by itsmeagain

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whine and scratch at a loose floorboard in one of the deserted rooms.

'What is it Muffle? What have you found boy? You been messing round in here, Darren?'

'Been nowhere near this 'ere room,' Darren replied indignantly, 'no plumbin' 'ere!'

Gilby levered up the board and they were astounded to see ...

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a black binliner. On it was scrawled "Cash inside...lucky old you.", in green marker pen.

"Cor moit I ' ave never seen anyfing loik it.Aaa match d'ya fink...

Edited by itsmeagain

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's innit?'

'That, my man, is none of your business! You can go now, thank you very much!'

'Wat 'bout me remoonerayshun, loike?'

'Send me a bill.'

Darren reluctantly walked out, looking back over his shoulder, but Gilby was standing there, hands on hips, waiting for him to go. When he felt the coast was clear, he untied the top of the bag and peered inside. A low whistle sounded from behind him. Cath ...

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round and round until he became quite dizzy and disorientated. It took a while for him to refocus but it seemed like Cath was surreptitiously stuffing something into her pockets.

'What do you think you're doing, Cath??'

Edited by poppy

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"Putting our money somewhere you will have to catch me to retrieve it!! " So it was that Cath Killtheurge ran round the house giggling, Gilby giggling and chasing her, his happiness.....

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knowing no bounds. Unfortunately, the excitement of the moment drove all thought of his latest find right out of his head and he left it unguarded. Cath, although suffering a notable limp and leading Gilby to think he could easily catch her, had actually been the cross country limping champion several years in a row. She managed to elude him up several flights of stairs and was now playing hide and seek amongst the detritus in the attic. This gave Darren a chance to sneak back and ...

Edited by poppy

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have a close look at the bag...."Cor watch a!!

By the hair of Charles Dickens' beard. We have not so much a fousand as ten fousand " and out the door he strode, listening with mirth to the shrieks and giggles emanating from upstairs.

Gilby....

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of course had no idea how much money was actually in the bag and to be perfectly honest, it was the last thing on his mind just at the moment. So when Darren strode boldly out of the house and hopped in his work van, pockets and shirt stuffed with pound notes ...

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Gilby was none the wiser . An hour later, both parties in the house were satisfied...Gilby whispering sweet nothings in Ms Killtheurge's ear...she said

"Gilby I am not even certain I want to Killtheurge!!!"

Both laughed gaily.

Darren laughed, saying " Remooneraytion moit oh yes ..me remooneraytion", as he drove home.

An hour of recuperation later, Gilby wanted to check what is in the fridge. He went and....

Edited by itsmeagain

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rummaged through the contents. One half-filled can of baked beans, mouldy; one limp stick of celery; a lump of very odiferous cheese; a couple of slimey pickled onions swimming in a murky, undefinable black fluid; a loaf of bread with enough penicillin growth to cure an entire small dominion; an opened pottle of yoghurt developing an ecosystem all of it's own and ...

Edited by poppy

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a black banana which exuded a congealed liquid.

"Come to mine for dinner. Let's go" , called Cath gaily.

She said "Let's see how much is in the sack then" , and at that the two of them went to the room in question.

Their mouths dropped open with dismay.

"I can't believe anyone....

Edited by itsmeagain

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would be stupid enough to stick a whole heap of notes into a bag and stick it down a vermin infested hole in the floor!!'

For although there was a small handful of intact money at the top of the bag, directly underneath was a well chewed nest of pound notes and a large family of mice and offspring snuggled up. In fact, It looked like there could be several generations of them cosying up in there.

'Awww....aren't they cute!' cried Cath. Gilby began to have serious doubts about ...

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Cath . I mean a crowd of mice in a sack!!

Gilby got suspicious, he took the sack outside and let the mice scatter all over the lawn.

Tipping up the sack, a paltry 80 quid flew out in a small pile of paper.

"I know that these mice didn't cause this damage...who's got the money? ?" , said Gilby, determined to find the.....

Edited by itsmeagain

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culprit.

'Don't look at me!' exclaimed Cath indignantly, 'I was with you the whole time!'

'What about when you went ...

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to the bathroom and were gone 8 minutes 35seconds?" asked Gilby."Oh call me a thief will you? You would need something worth thieving. State of the mansion is a disgrace", and with that, Cath started.... ...... ...

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to storm off, her sturdy brogues drumming across the old wooden floors.

Had Gilbert messed up again? Had he lost a soulmate because of his wild accusations? Was Cath really as innocent as she made out? Would she ever forgive him is she was? Would he ever find true love?

We must patiently await, dear reader, for Itsmeagain to answer all these and many more questions.

:giggle2:

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Fast forward six months.

At a quiet Epsom church, Catherine made the name change from Killtheurge to Supermarket.

Only slightly less embarrassing than her old name but she was a millionaire now and so how and why would it all matter?

Gilby was the world's happiest man.

Eleanor Doorstop was doing charity work in Vietnam;Vinnie Dessicate was running a coconut products business doing a roaring trade in coconut flavoured snacks;Darren was serving time for fraud; and Mr and Mrs Florence Supermarket were happy now Gilby was hitched to someone.

The end.

New thread? New story? Poppy?

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Great ending Sean! :D Vinnie Dessicate making coconut products :rolol: Thanks so much for being such an awesome story partner here, been so much fun ... long may it continue! :friends3:

 

(I'll start a new thread, we've changed the original rules a little as we've gone along ;) )

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