poppy Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 question the wisdom of his decision. He'd lost his wellies several times in the boggy fields, it had sucked them clean off his feet and now his socks were a soggy, mud drenched mess. Still, love lends wings to the hooves or some such twaddle and he plowed on over the rough terrain, a song in his heart and a ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 twig between his left big toe and the next one. He began to shiver. "I need to work out exactly where Bottler's abode is", he gasped as he tried to use a weeping willow to shelter below in order to roll a cigarette. Being resourceful, Gilby had written down the mobile numbers of Eleanor, Destitute, and his mum. Ringing Eleanor's number whilst sucking on a Gauloise rollup, the phone connected."My dear my dear please..will you receive me at Bottlebum's abode?", asked Gilby , desperate for affection. "It's not that I do not know you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 ...it's me, your very own little Gilby.' There was dead silence at the end of the line. 'Please, Eleanor, please, I'm cold and I'm lost and I've lost my wellies in the mud. I've come looking for you to apologise and beg your forgiveness,' Gilbert sobbed and hiccuped all at once. ( twig between his left big toe and the next one.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 "This...is...Vinnie. Supermartyr I can tell you she and I are now an item...an item...and I like her a good amount. Can you please..." "Desiderata!! You miserable old gay, stealing a man of property's lover, why when I find you I shall decidedly scoop..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 that grin off your face in one foul sweep... or swoop...or swipe ...or something like that!' Vinnie just laughed. 'Go home, man, nobody's scared of you here.' 'But I can't!' wailed Gilby, 'I'm lost and I'm stuck in the mud, I've lost my wellies and I think I'm starting to get hyperthermia or is it hypothermia? I can never remember. See my memory's going now. I think I'm on my way out ...it won't be long now. You need to send help immediately!' Vinnie sighed and said ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 ,phlegmatically, with a philosophical slant thrown in " yes it's a case of swings n roundabouts..me and Eleanor swing, whilst you play on a roundabout. Never have I known a chap such as you..cheer up you may be a millionaire tomorrow." "I am a millionaire, you buffoon.... and plese tell me ..is your new abode nearby? I am sheltering beneath a weeping willow in Band's Helmsman , where do I walk from here?" The phone went dead...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 (edited) Gilby's battery was flat. He whimpered. A cold wind was blowing and the sky was pitch black. Gilby huddled up against the willow and discovered it was hollow inside so he crawled in and tried to bury himself in the dry leaves. Something rustled next to him. Edited May 2, 2016 by poppy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 A tiny mouse scuttled out. PC Simon Getmeout, 43, was walking down the road and saw two feet protruding from the tree. "Hello sir...are you ok?" "Yes but all I need is my home..my home..my kingdom for a ...." "There is a night shelter down in London I..." "I am a millionaire" said Gilby..."take me home." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 'Well, hereabouts, millionaire or not, we still use our manners. Didn't your mother teach you about the magic words?' 'Magic words? What magic words? What the hell are you talking about? Abracadabra or something?' 'You'll have to try harder than that, sir, or you won't be going anywhere. A night in the cold might just jog your memory,' and PC Getmeout continued on his way. Gilby stumbled after him, stubbing his toe painfully on some unknown but remarkably sharp protrubance. ' Stop! Stop! Hocus Pocus .....owwwwwww ..... Bibbidi bobidee ....Alla peanut butter sandwiches .....*&^%$!!!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 (edited) "What's your address sir?" "Supermarket manor...I am Gilby Supermarket, owner of 25 million smackeroons. I have to go home." When PC Getmeout heard.... Edited May 3, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 this, he replied, 'Well, we'd all like to be home now, wouldn't we? Do you think I like plodding round in the cold and dark, in danger of being accosted by miscreants at any moment? Me with me bunions and all! A policeman's lot is not a happy one you know!' PC Getmeout had recently seen Little Crinkley Bottom's local production of The Pirates of Penzance and had been greatly impressed. By this stage they'd reached the road again. 'If you follow that there road, thataway, you'll come to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 (edited) Parson's Nose, a jolly good pub called Gander and Gadfly, sells all the latest newspapers and does a splendid cheese and red onion pasty. Go..and good night Gilby Superman", declared PC Getmeout. Gilby walked manfully on, assured of.... Edited May 3, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 a bit of warmth and sustenance after the evening's misadventures. Just about at the end of his tether, he stumbled into the Gadfly and Gander to find ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 (edited) a scene of mirth and merriment, similar to scenes in the pub in Far from the Madding Crowd...men with beards raising jugs of mead in the air and yelling classic lines such as "She's a dandy oh Mandy One shoe off One shoe on Oh so naughty And under 40 Get yoursel' some there Martin". Gilby was dumbstruck to see.. Edited May 3, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Vinnie, Eleanor and Mother there and all joining in the shenanigans. He went to the bar and ordered a himself a triple whisky on the rocks and three cheese and onion pasties. He sat down in a dark corner, downing his drink and munching gloomily on his pasties all the while scowling at the trio. Eleanor was looking particularly ... (just watched Far From the Madding Crowd the other night starring Carey Mulligan and Matthias Schoenaerts. Was excellent, really enjoyed it, am listening to the audio of the book now ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 (Superb film isn't it poppy?) ......ravishing in a purple dress that really showed what the girl has to offer a red blooded male,,,,or even Gilby. In his dark corner, Gilby began to imagine that things between his mum and Despicable were now getting...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 hotted up. That just might give him a chance to approach Eleanor while they were otherwise occupied. He didn't quite realise how bedraggled his appearance actually was. He was still in his muddy wet socks, leaves clung to his clothes in varying stages of decomposition, there was what appeared to be the remnants of a bird nest with a few eggshells still intact and about him hung a peculiar odour, reminiscent of ... (loved it, Sean. Thought Gabriel Oak was such a sweetie Listening to the audio book, I realise what a wonderful sense of humour Thomas Hardy had. Has me chuckling all the time. And he is beautifully descriptive. Can't believe I've never read anything of his before! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 decaying eggs. He sidled up to Eleanor, who was buying a lemon sherry with ice, and said"Mine to pay for, yours to enjoy". Eleanor jumped back in shock. "Do I know you? Oh Gilby dear you look awful. What has happened? Shall I get a doctor?" Gilby thrust the cash into the bar lady's hand. "Am sick of.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 being all by myself, Eleanor. Please, please, please come home again. I'm pining away, that's why I look so poorly,' he lied, 'I've hardly eaten a thing since you left, completely lost my appetite.' A statement which she would have realised was a complete falsehood if she'd happened to observe him scoffing down three large pasties a short while ago. 'Welllllll,' said Eleanor, '... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 "the fact is I am Sapphic in orientation". Gilby's puzzled look did nothing to make her realise his lack of knowledge of Sapphic mores. "Eleanor what is Sapphic? A language from South Africa? A cheese tart? A new car?....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Eleanor broke into peals of giggles as she was apt to do. 'No silly, I like girls!' 'Well so do I,' answered Gilby, 'oh you mean? ...ohhhhh....oh no, Eleanor!' and he sat down despondently. Then he perked up, 'But that doesn't mean you can't come back and look after ....I mean work for me again now, does it?' Eleanor thought for a moment, 'Only if ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 (edited) I can think about it for a few weeks..since you were a grumpy boss all told", she declared morosely. Gilby left the pub, despondent. It was raining. He began to trudge manfully home. A fox flitted hopefully in front of Gilby, her orange coat beautiful in the dark night. On arrival home Gilby put on the taps and ran a hot bath. He went to the kitchen while the bath was running. He put.... Edited May 5, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 his folded arms on the table, laid his head down and promptly went to sleep. It had been a very long, eventful, energy sapping day. The bath continued to happily fill to the brim, trickled over the sides then increased to a steady stream. Across the floor, under the door, over the landing, down the stairs it went. Gilby snored on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 At 214 am Gilby awoke to a tremendous drumming sound of thumping thudding water pipes. Moving his feet he found he was wading through water, and sloshing his way to the bathroom he..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 saw the taps giving their final death throe gargle before spluttering to silence. 'Great,' thought Gilby, 'what more can this day chuck my way? A flood and empty water tanks all in one now!' He searched the phone book for a likely looking plumber. 'Drainers With Strainers' caught his eye and Bert Birtwhistle answered his call with, ' Wotcha me ol' sparra. 'ow can I 'elp yer?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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