poppy Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 Sprightly Man immediately perked up, 'Come in, come in my dear! Perhaps then if you're fancy free, as it were, you'd consider dining with me tonight at a special private little table I keep reserved at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay?' Eleanor burst into peals of giggles, as she was wont to do. Gilby ground his teeth, a habit that was becoming rather entrenched and didn't augur well for future dental work. 'Oh Mr Berk!' exclaimed Eleanor, 'I ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 know MrRamsay fairly well but I cannot join you today as I have smalls to wash and cupboards to clean.I.." "Smalls dear....oh let me see" "There's the money for the lecky bill....goodbye" and Gilby whisked Eleanor briskly out the door. The old man Berk tore open the envelope."Hehehe.... 657 pounds in total...the bill was only 98 quid....a fool plus his cash are easily parted." Back at the mansion,Gilby goes looking for Vinnie. He finds him standing outside Gilby's office door, a sheepish look on his face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 (edited) made all the more ovine by a fine pair of mutton chops he'd been growing and nurturing on the side of his face. 'Go in,' Gilby said abruptly, 'but don't bother sitting, you won't be staying. I've decided your services are no longer required, there's no place here for a rampant womanizer in my household. Here's two weeks pay in lieu of notice, you can pack your bags and leave forthwith!' Vinnie sat himself down in Gilby's chair and put his feet up comfortably on the desk. 'Now hang on a minute, MATE, this is how it is like ... Edited April 14, 2016 by poppy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 (edited) ....You need give me two weeks notice in writing to vacate the premises. As lover to your esteemed uncle I ought to be allowed to stay but of course he's dead so off goes Vincent into the distance. I expect a written notice to quit in my hand by 4pm." And with that he stormed from the room, popping his head back to say "Those lovely boobs you lust after...I...only I....have enjoyed." A huge copy of "Motorbike maintenance for old men" flew through the air....but Vinnie had gone downstairs. On the phone he said "Florence, your son is evicting me...." @nd Edited April 14, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 'WE SEEM TO HAVE SOME INTERFERENCE ON THE LINE, CROSSED WIRES OR SOMETHING,' yelled Florence. She gave the phone a good whack on the edge of the table. 'That's better! I'll come over at once, over my dead body that useless son of mine will...' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 (edited) "evict you my kutchie little wutchie. I will help restore you to your rightful place at the head of the household. You being such a loyal....." "GERMANY CALLING!! GERMANY CALLING!" came a crackling, staccato voice on the crossed line. "Stop!! I am talking to Mrs Supermarket and it's. .. Edited April 14, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 imperative we finish our conversation!" Germany took not the slightest notice. 'I'm vanting to sveak to zee head shebang of zee phone company! Vud you connect me plez!!' 'Would you just go away and boil your head! Florence, Florence ....are you there? I wasn't talking to you!' Vinnie wailed. Too late ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 (edited) Florence, who alone of the amorous duo could not hear the staccato interference, slammed the phone down. Wilf Supermarket, her husband, enquired what was the matter? "Oh just memories Wilf...memories..you I know I am post menopausal..well I cry when I recall the good times...a trip to New York." Naive as ever, Wilf put his arm around Florence's shoulder. She kept weeping and blurted out " Oh thanks Vinnie, you are truly the best." Edited April 15, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 'Vinnie? Vinnie? Who's Vinnie when 'es at 'ome? Only Vinnie I ever 'new was one Vincent Dessicate and I can tell you roight now, Florrie, you don't want to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 get involved. When I was trying to find my way as a young man, the ugly charmless little toad charmed his way into women's beds....." "Ohhhhhh noooooo please dear...no Vinnie was just an imaginary figment of some top brains on book club forum. You know a woman named...." "To be honest there's football on t box so go and occupy yourself...Vinnie indeed...goodness if he ever comes calling round here I will knock...." Drrrrrrrrinnnnnng drones the landline. Wilfie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 bellowed, 'Get that, Florrie. Me footies on!' It was Gilbert. 'Mother, Vincent's got to go, he's continually ogling and groping Eleanor and I suspect he does the same to you. The man's a downright Lothario! He says you won't let him be fired and you're the apple of his eye. I won't have it!' 'Gilby, he isn't like other men, didn't you know? He bats for the other side.' 'What the hell has cricket got to do with it? Don't tell me he plays for Wales?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 "He well...oh my God..did we not tell you of the birdies plus the bees when you were a teen? It simply means he prefers men...." "Ooooooo kayyyyyy" said Gilby , trying to cover up his ignorance, " well he is a liar .....can I speak to my father?" "No he's engrossed in England v Germany... bye son, do sleep well". "It's only 11@m..."....but mum had hung up. Gilby searched the phonebook. "Davide Pluspartout of Useless Eustace legal services,9 Moron Drive, London. Now that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 17, 2016 Share Posted April 17, 2016 sounds like a likely solicitor for Mr Vincent Dismembered!' Gilby was surprised that they were able to see him immediately, so ringing for a taxi he resolutely set off for Moron Drive. Florence, suspecting she and Vinnie darling had been at cross purposes in their phone conversation, now rushed to be at his side. She found him in the kitchen with Eleanor, where they were ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 17, 2016 Share Posted April 17, 2016 (edited) guffawing loudly at a news tale from the Daily Stun.It was about an old mansion owner, Steve Fleabite, 76, who tried his luck with all manner of women, but got the knockback time after time. "Old buffoon just like Gilby Super...." Edited April 17, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 17, 2016 Share Posted April 17, 2016 For once Florence's maternal instincts came to the fore.'Don't you go calling my Gilby a buffoon! I'll have you know he ...' 'Dear lady, nothing was further from my mind! Disabuse yourself of the very idea this instant! I was about to say he was an old buffoon just like Gilby was mentioning the other day!' Florence's ruffled feathers stabilized, 'Well, in that case we need to come up with a plan to keep you here, Vinnie, I would hate to lose you now!' A tear started to appear. 'The best way to Gilby's heart is through his stomach, I suggest ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 18, 2016 Share Posted April 18, 2016 (edited) that dear little Ermentrude here continues cooking her concoctions for HIM and for no one else. As for me I am of the opinion that you Vinnie, need a mature feminine hand, if necessary including the rod of correction", she murmured in a sultry voice. "After all, you can be quite naughty and I...let's just say that whatever floats your boat I wil accommodate you my dear..." "I am Eleanor , Mrs Supermarket and not Ermentrude", declared Eleanor , mildly...... Edited April 18, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 18, 2016 Share Posted April 18, 2016 and you can tell Gilbert, if Vinnie goes, I go.' Vinnie was starting to have doubts about the desirability of staying on in Gilby's employ, what with his bosses scone-doing tendencies and Mrs Supermarket's overbearing and over amorous ways. Lord Bottlesham from Finkley Bottom Manor had recently ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 18, 2016 Share Posted April 18, 2016 (edited) put an advert in Buffoon magazine, looking for a helper " to ease an infirm male through the vicissitudes of daily life....must be male, agile, @nd able." Vinnie resolved immediately that he would secretly telephone the residence of the ever willing Lord. Vinnie said "Irony of ironies...a middle aged ugly gay man such as me...two women at loggerheads over me...pah"......@nd at that he Edited April 18, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 18, 2016 Share Posted April 18, 2016 lay down in a dark room with a wet towel over his eyes. He was forced to get up and lock the door after Eleanor, and then Florence came fussing around with BLT sarnies and Camomile tea respectively. He'd quite made up his mind now, that Gilbert Up Himself Wholesale Supermarket could go boil his head, he was going to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 to ring Lord Bottlesham and find out.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 when he could start his new position. Runcible, the Butler, answered the phone promptly. As luck would have it .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Bottlesham said the call could be put through to him , and minutes later Vinnie was saying "Shufflebottom, yes....that sounds ok for me , I shall.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 start promptly tomorrow at 8.00am.' 'Capital, Capital, Desecrator! I'll see you for pop-wallah at tiffin!' Vinnie hadn't the foggiest what he was talking about, but hoped all would come clear on the morrow. Now to .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 start packing his bags. It seemed that..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 quite a few of his more personal belongings were missing ...his favourite teddy bear, his purple spotted boxers, his book on the construction and maintenance of hypertufa pots and worst of all ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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