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yes but uncle Marvin had other ideas, telling me

I must toe the line or I would be out."

"What a ludicrous man that Ramsay is...did he have ideas about you ?"

 

Eleanor said that it was not likely, as Ramsay swore every second word and so you couldn't be sure.

So Gilby ate another sandwich and said "

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'I would have punched him in the nose if he had!'
Eleanor giggled, 'You're such a gentleman!' She'd obviously been too busy earlier on concocting peach pie to hear his less than gentlemanly suggestion.

However, Gilby was of the confirmed opinion that that was exactly what he was. He puffed out his less than impressive chest, making himself look like a rather anorexic pouter pigeon, and said, 'Would you like to go steady, Eleanor?' 

 

Eleanor said that it was not likely, as Ramsay swore every second word and so you couldn't be sure.

 

:rolol:

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Suddenly Eleanor realised what the purpose of her rollup smoking employer`s attentions was.

"Actually it is unseemly for one to sleep with one`s employer, so no is the answer", she declared, attempting to put a grave aspect on matters, despite her inclination to burst out laughing, which she avoided.

Gilby thought "Well I could soon quit you being my employee" but stifled the thought, and instead said "very well", and quietly left the room, bacon grease on his hands....

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black thoughts in his heart. Time to tackle that Vincent 'holier than thou' Despotic, he was just in the right mood! He discovered him ensconced in the potting shed with his mother. They were poring over ...

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a grubby garden manual,Vinnie asked

"so Mrs S, have you ever grown a bigger turnip than that? Two feet high, rock hard, be really good in a stew. I"

"Mr Destruct what time are we meeting?", asked

Gilby, a sneer erupting by the corner of his mouth.

"Tomorrow 11@m, now I am busy so you can...

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take this turnip into the kitchen for me, Eleanor wants to make Turnip Surprise for dessert tonight.

'Dessert???' Gilby was so surprised that he forgot to be affronted and ask who gave the orders round here. Instead he tottered off, hoping to see Eleanor again, with the turnip that must have weighed all of ...

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An eighth of a ton..well a couple of pounds at least. Gilby was in the kitchen , dutifully scraping worm droppings off the dirty turnip, when the doorbell rang.

Opening the window, Gilby yelled "Aloha...who goeth there...friend or foe? As you see I am master of all I survey and..."

"Postman mate, it's a registered letter for Supermarket, Gilly or sumfink."

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''tis I, Lord of the Manor, Gilbert Supermarket Esquire!' and Gilby waved his turnip knife grandly in the air.

'Mind out, mate, you'll 'ave someuns eye out, you keep flailin' that fing about!'

Gilby impatiently tore open the letter. There, inside ...

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was the tiny, clear, easily read handwriting of

Boris Berk, landlord of 543 Helpmate street, one of Gilby's many old addresses.

"Dearest Supermarket,

It's only me again, pray don't think the taxman has caught up with you just yet. 543Helpmate street , old chap, the electricity bill stands at 567 quid and I cannot pay it ..it's over to you ...pal"...

"How did you get my address?"

whispered Gilby, @lmost inaudible...but in came Eleanor, gaily saying "Why of course I know where you live, silly".

"Excuse.....

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me, but that's no way to treat a turnip, Mr Supermarket! Give it to me,' and Eleanor erupted in a fit of giggles again. As attractive as Eleanor undoubtably was, her propensity for giggling at every opportunity was, quite frankly, starting to get up Gilby's nose.

'Ummmm .....Eleanor, my dear, do you think we could have less of the ....

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giggles? Only, you see at every end and turn you start to chortle..."

"And what's wrong with that? Am I to guess you would prefer to have a pouting, miserable girl as your helpmate?"

"Oh no not at all..now please help me...I have many hundreds of pounds to pay to a Mr Berk, @ landlord.

Will you go tomorrow at 10ish to 32 Gormless avenue @nd hand Mr Berk this cheque?"

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'Certainly, Mr Supermarket. Would it be possible to have Vinnie drive me there? It's several miles away and if I walk there and back, dinner will be very late.'

Gilby muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'Vincent bloody Disemboweled!!' which Eleanor thought it wise to ignore.

'No!! I very nearly have my learner's licence now, I will drive you! I've been coming along in leaps and ...

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bright pink, maroon, then an alarming shade of heliotrope.

'Mr Supermarket,' cried Eleanor in alarm, 'are you feeling quite alright? Are you choking?' and before he could answer she performed a very vigorous Heimlich manoeuvre on him from behind, leaving Gilby ...

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gasping for breath in a purple bundle on the floor.

Gilby opened the door, revealing Vinnie holding a bunch of marigolds, water dripping off them onto the floor.

"For you for you the love of my life", said Vinnie, tripping over Gilby and tumbling so he knocked Eleanor onto the couch, Vinnie atop her, his head nestled upon her inviting chest.

"I will see you tomorrow at 11...my mother where is she?" @nd Gilby marched.....

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up to Bonnie and demanded to know who he was. It was enough having that abominable Vincent Desolation pawing at the lovely Eleanor, the love of his life, without some other strange bod turning up at the door bearing stinky marigolds and carelessly falling all over the place!

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LOL.....New phone and it is predicting things just as it pleases!!!

It is Vinnie not Bonnie...lol

"Oh of course you have forgotten my mother now, Vinnie Decibels but my God you aren't having this beautiful piece...tomorrow at 11 along with your excuses".....

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:rolol:

 

'Calm down, calm down! You've been over-doing things, man, you're hallucinating now! You don't think he's found our secret stash, do you, Eleanor ??' Vinnie whispered in an aside. 'There's only me and Eleanor here. Who are you talking to over there? That's just a blank wall.'

'Go and have a little lie down, Mr Supermarket, I'll bring you a nice cup of tea, you'll feel better in no time,' Eleanor said soothingly.

'Perhaps I better,' said Gilby feeling confused, 'I think I'm getting ...

Edited by poppy
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overwrought. Tired isn't the apposite word for it. After all I have been stressed all day , running about all week..."

Gilby reclined on a chaise longue, @ bowl of green seedless grapes by his bedside, a flask of sweet tea on the go constantly.

He awoke into silence and pitch black darkness in the room.

"What time is it?" he groaned quietly, his alarm clock showed him 02:09.

"Crikey I have....

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Yet there was nothing amiss with the tea.

Gilby now clocked for the fact that his appointment with Vinnie Despoliate

was actually due in nine hours time.

He laid his head groggily back on his pillow, sleeping peacefully til 8am.

He woke....

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Vinnie was playing an old gramophone record with child, dog, cat and pig sounds."Taking me back some years to when I worked for Major Bobbins on Clough farm", declared Vinnie. Clutching a bacon sarnie he dashed from the kitchen, salty fat running down his stubbly chin.

Gilby unplugged the record player.

In walked Eleanor, bearing a tray of toasted marmalade sarnies.

"Good morning Gilby" $he declared, flirty and happy.

"Morning. You know, don't forget you have to go visit Mr Berk with the several hundred quid for the lecky bill. You're going in a taxi".....

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...'and you shall accompany me!'exclaimed Gilby.

'Oh, but today's my day for sorting out the pot cupboard and hand washing my smalls!' exclaimed Eleanor.

'Never mind your pots and smalls! I didn't get where I am today worrying about my pots and smalls,'and Gilby waved his hand dismissively.

'No,' thought Eleanor, 'where you've got today has got nothing whatever to do with anything you've ever done! You've got your Uncle Marv to thank for that!' Out loud she said instead, ...

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"Ok what time am I going?"

"I am accompanying you at ten a.m.

Since I do not drive I have booked a taxi."

At ten, Jim Beans, 45, taxi driver arrived.

He deposited our silent duo at 2 Gormless avenue.

Eleanor knocked on the black door .

A sprightly old man opened the door.

"Mr Berk at your service..oh Gilby...your wife is very charming indeed" said Berk, feebly.

"No this is my helpmate...she has declined nuptials, @nd I am here to pay the 567 quid lecky bill", said Gilby in a morose way.

"Introducing Eleanor", said Eleanor, gaily.

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