poppy Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 'Daily Muckrake here, cheers for the scoop, there's two reporters and a gang of cameramen on their way out to yours now.' Gilby put the phone down with a very smug and self-satisfied look on his face. 'That'll fix 'em,' he thought, and he sat down to ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 21, 2016 Share Posted May 21, 2016 peruse his copy of The Daily Bling, a paper in which a man was reported to have turned into a dog whilst on the toilet; a French government minister has cake at number ten; an old man in a nursing home won 500 quid in the national lottery. Gilby thought it prudent... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 21, 2016 Share Posted May 21, 2016 to ring another rag whose headlines were equally as sensational. He could play one off against the other as to who would pay him the most for his scandolous story. He rubbed his hands together, then rang Scurrilous Snippets, whose editor ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 22, 2016 Share Posted May 22, 2016 (edited) Malcolm Sipple, was a bit of a character. You see, he had an affair with his ex employee's PA. That led to a brief time when he didn't know what woman awaited him at home. One fine November evening....... Edited May 22, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 he was happily strutting along, whistling a lively little tune and thinking of nothing in particular, as was his wont, when he was hailed loudly by a 'Hoy, you there! Sipple of Snippets, what's the meaning of ...' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 this? Old Maud your neighbour says last night both your wife and your fancy bit rushed out to embrace you. How do You do it? Any tips?" This person was Phil Mybox, 25, well known Muppet and full time acting.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 Cheese Shreader Manager at Little Chipping Cheese Factory. 'Complete pack of lies!' shouted Sipple, 'and if I hear any more from you I'll sue you for defamation of character!' Phil burst out laughing, 'What character would that be then?' Malcolm was ruminating on this insult when the phone rang and he misheard the caller as Phil not Gil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 (edited) "Mr Mybox, no less!! And how are we today? Still intruding in the business of the employed? Well we have no call...." "Ahem...Gilby Supermarket..millionaire..right here..can you send a reporter to Supermarket manor? I..... Edited May 24, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 have a snippet for your Scurrilous Snippets that's quite a snip, Sipple!' And he laughed uproarously at his own joke. There was dead silence at the other end of the phone. A sense of humour was not one of Malcolm's strongest features. 'Come to the point, Supermobile, and less of the alliteration, I'm a busy man.' 'Well,' said Gilby, 'it's like this ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 ...Barney Givemewomen...." "Gifttowomen...an Old chum of mine....don't come slandering my friends...what do.." Disappointed, Gilby hung up abruptly. He waited for the arrival of the Daily Muckrake and poured...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 out all the water from the leak catching buckets dotted round the house. He sighed, he'd have to do something about getting the rooves fixed. 'How is one man supposed to cope with all this alone?? Cooking, cleaning, laundry and an old heap falling down round my ears! Feckless family and friends deserting me in my hour of need.' Feeling very sorry for himself he poured ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 (edited) a stiff whisky. Downing it, the urge for another got quite overwhelming. His thoughts turned to Eleanor and soon the whisky wasn't the only stiff thing in the room.....his back creaked as he leaned forward, giving him a sensation of backache. To suppress his stiff back he drank a fourth glass of whisky. A press of his doorbell meant that he was soon to be found opening the window. Being a pompous man came easy to Gilby. "Aloha my dear man..who goeth there?" drawled Gilby,..... Edited May 26, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 'It's me Gilby! Open the door, I came to see how you're getting along by yourself. I heard you'd come looking for me.' Gilbert rushed to the door, yelling as he ran, 'Is that really you ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 (edited) Eleanor? Oh Eleanor..." Instead Gilby saw a small figure in a green baize anorak, brown mufflers, and red shoes. Vincent Dessicate.... "Oh...well...can you tell..... Edited May 27, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 29, 2016 Share Posted May 29, 2016 her ... that ...that ...' 'You can tell her yourself, Gilbert, she's just outside tying up the dog.' 'Dog? What dog? Eleanor's here??' He rushed outside and there she was, looking as beautiful as ever. He threw his arms around her and giving her a huge hug, sighed, 'Oh, I've missed you so, Eleanor.' She ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 29, 2016 Share Posted May 29, 2016 said "Oh Gilby how are you? The thing is this dog , Muffle, is our gift to you to keep you company". Gilby saw a gorgeous little black and white baby Border collie. The dog squealed with joy. Gilby reflected that no matter how ugly you are, a dog will love you. Gilby had always thought dogs.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 29, 2016 Share Posted May 29, 2016 were far easier to get on with than humans, they always seemed to like him (which just went to prove that Gilby couldn't be all bad). He called Muffle and held out his hand, the dog licked it. Gilby beamed at the pair and said ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 29, 2016 Share Posted May 29, 2016 "Thanks. Anyone fancy some tea?" At that moment, Paul Bungee and Cath Killtheurge from the Daily Muckraker, arrived in.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 29, 2016 Share Posted May 29, 2016 a gaudily and tastelessly decorated van with DAILY MUCKRAKER in large capitals plastered on the sides. Vinnie rushed out to greet them, 'Pauly! Cathykins! Me old mates, fancy seeing you here, how's business?' Gilby groaned ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 That meant that Vinnie was about to steal the show. "How the earth are you?" ,asked Paul."And do you know Gilbert Supermarket?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 'I'M Gilbert Supermarket!' Gilby butted in giving Vinnie a dirty look, 'I have personal business with these good people if you don't mind, Discombobulate!' 'We'll be off then,' said Eleanor, 'we'll catch up with you again sometime.' 'But ...but ...Eleanor ...no...I'll ...' gasped Gilby, torn between ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 (edited) getting reporter attention for himself, and keeping Eleanor near. Vinnie was simply so..... Edited May 31, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 infuriating! Gilby couldn't spend more than two minutes in his company without things going all pear shaped and knicker knotted. 'How's mother?' he asked, hoping to keep Eleanor a little longer. 'Oh, she's gone off with the under footman, Bahamas, I think they said,' butted in Vinnie and with an airy wave they hopped into ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsmeagain Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 (edited) a blue and gold horse drawn carriage. Gilby was left with Muffle, Cath and her companion from the Daily Muckraker. "The taxi company run by Barney Dontknowwomen is corrupt. He tried to...." Edited June 1, 2016 by itsmeagain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted June 1, 2016 Share Posted June 1, 2016 (edited) 'Barney who???' enquired Cath, pencil poised. 'You know, Windywomen, Stroppywomen ....whatever!' Cath, who regarded herself as a bit of a feminist, glared over the top of her thick, horn-rimmed glasses. 'Don't come your misogynist attitudes with me, MISTER Supermarket! Unless you can give an accurate surname, we're not interested in your petty little story. The Truth is Our Game. Accuracy Our Name!' Which was rich considering ... Edited June 2, 2016 by poppy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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