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 Storing your apple cores and moldy old cheeses in bags is not ideal and as you can see, in this case, has led to a marked deterioration of the stitching. In fact, the stitching is now non-existent and if it weren't for the fact ................

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Which would be a shame because after surviving so many adventures, It was almost as famous as Arthur Dent's and had also visited some of the same places. Although I don't think it ha quite managed to leave the galaxy as of yet.....

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......although people do say it was thrown to an astronaut  on the first apollo flight in the late 1960s, it hit him on the arm and fell , where it was picked up by Polly McGinn, an air stewardess, who posted it to her son in Connecticut.

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Unfortunately, on the way, due to the unreliability of postal services in general and the chronic short-sightedness of one of it's employees, the bag ended up in Greenland, an easy mistake to make some might say, but nevertheless, dashed inconvenient and necessitating a long and arduous journey for Polly McGinn's long-suffering but ever determined son, Bob. It was but the work of a moment for Bob to pack his suitcase with a few indispensible comestibles which included .....

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the titles richly embossed in gold, which read The Chronological History of the Rise and Fall of the Lesser Known Peruvian Fruit Bat and The Illustrated Joys of Concrete Making, both of which he never travelled without. Stopping only to feed the cat, put out the milk bottles, check on his pot plants (of which he had a considerable number in the basement, hydroponically grown and artificailly lit), bring in the washing, do the dishes, vacuum the floor, do a little light dusting, fill out his annual tax returns, remodel the bathroom etc, he was off like a flash to catch the next..............

 

(it obviously wanted to take the scenic route :D )

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and Bobby McGinn found himself at a loose end, wandering around the harbour, asking small boat owners if they have seen the Prince Lucien the fourth, bound for Greenland? And , having found he`d missed the boat, can they sail him to Greenland?

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Having spent most of his savings for his berth on the Prince Lucien the Fourth, he was compelled to accept a working passage on a rather decrepit looking fishing trawler named Breaking Wind.  Not long after they had set sail, Bob was handed a bucket of soapy water and a toothbrush and ordered to scrub the ..................

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cooker completely clean.As a passenger on this boat, Breaking Wind, you will do all jobs asked, in order to pay your way, said Igor Sigurdsson, the bearded captain.We want all the fish remains thrown overboard after the cooker is fit to use again, said the captain.

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'And after zat, I vant you to catch ze rats.  Ze rats, zey are as big as cats, very fat are our rats, we cook zem in our vats and eat for our supper.'

Bob began to wonder if he had been rather hasty in his decision to seek steerage on the Breaking Wind, whose other drawbacks included .................

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That it seemed to be held together by hope and wishes. With some of the waves they were travelling on and through Bob was coming to the conclusion that there'd be more going on than the tiny breaking wind could handle. There were some ominous creeks and bangs from below deck every time they climbed a big wave. Bob just hoped he wouldn't have to live up to his name....

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which was Bob the Builder. A name given to him because of his ability to build practically anything out of nothing. That is not saying that the 'building' that Bob did was of good quality....

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Which was why he was known as the boy scout , as he only earned a bob a job which really got on his woggle. He never did get on with the cub group, After only one meeting he decided that trekking round the woods singing silly songs wasn't for him. No, he was set for a better life than that....

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Yes, indeed! Bob went on to climb the ladder of success and became head pea inspector at the local pea factory, a position of which he was rightfully proud. Peas featured strongly on the menu back where he came from and quality control was everything. As Bob stalked and poked around for rats, he thought back fondly of those happy days of gainful employment where every day was filled with excitement and began wondering if retreiving this bag was ...............

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...as important as he thought. Maybe he should count his blessings and just high tail it out of there. Maybe he could steal a life boat and.....

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get back to port and find a decent boat to stoaway on, as he'd already used the majority of his money when securing passage on the broken wind. He hoped he could find one with a less ill omened name....

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He was able to steal a life boat and was happily on his way, singing a sailors song, when all of a sudden he saw a huge spout of water to his left. The shadow under that spout of water was huge. Bob sighed a huge sigh of fear when he realized that what he was seeing was....

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a giant squid, the like hadn't been seen before around the area. It was totally out of Bobs understanding, How could a creature so large survive in an area so lacking in food to eat. Bob suddenly had a thought...

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if he attached his lifeboat to the squid, his journey would be all that much quicker. Life as Pea Inspector in Pemberton's Premium Peas had not been the optimum learning ground for all things sea-faring, so maybe Bob could be excused for this misguided decision. No sooner had he thrown a stout rope and snagged one of the giant creatures tentacles, when ...............

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