Hygge

[Virginia]

Being an American is stressful. We worry about health care, crime (guns) childcare, education, the economy, jobs, terrorism, racism and of course, politics. When we turn on the tv or go on Facebook we are constantly slapped with the cruelty of not so much the world but our country. I can't lie, it was really getting to me to the point where I was avoiding the internet and the news. I was getting more and more angry and it showed in my online comments. It took me out of "character" so to speak. After a couple of pretty nasty retorts to some a$$ho!3 my dear mother (I regret introducing her to FB, lol!) inboxed me to gently remind me of my home training. So, I have been weaning myself from angry retorts or comments of any kind (I'll never be completely quiet, its not in my nature) but I choose my battles and how I now engage with strangers online.

 

One thing that I've found to help redirect my anger and frustration is my introduction to "hygge." 

Pronounced Hyoo-guh, Hygge isn’t something that can be directly translated into English. Hygge is more of a feeling, an experience and an atmosphere all rolled into one.

Hygge is basically a heart warming way to live a life filled with love, happiness, wellbeing, simplicity, laughter. It’s like a cosiness for the soul.

To Hygge is to not sweat the small stuff and to not get bogged down by life’s pressures, but to focus on living well and living simply with an appreciation for what you have, and most importantly spending quality time with the people in your life that matter the most.

 

Our daughter mentioned it one day as she's been trying to find peace in a home with 6 little ones and a hubby who travels for work. She mentioned the word and it triggered something I'd come across months ago. I decided to do a little more research and have now found my "happy place." It was such an easy transition. A cozy home, family/friend centered, good food and drink, the overall feeling of warmth and contentment even as the world goes to hell in a hand basket. 

 

Americans in general aren't geared towards simplicity and contentment. We tend to want more, are restless, all for one and none for all. We work too hard and even though some jobs give holiday pay, most don't so there's no way for low pay workers to take a vacation. Most don't even get major holidays off. You get sick you may be out of a job, your child gets sick and you may be out of a job. Heck, if you die, some anal manager wants to see the coroner report. Hypertension and stress. It can be disheartening.

 

So, once I found this new to me concept, I jumped on it full sail and I'm dragging my family along for the ride. I'm feathering my nest with what's meaningful, what's useful and comfortable. I want to bring in beauty and serenity. I truly want to make my home a safe haven from the madness. And even more so, I don't want to contribute to the madness anymore. I can't respond to negative comments or stupid people when I'm sitting in front of a gorgeous view, sipping coffee and listening to soothing music surrounded by candles and wearing cozy jammies and fluffy slippers and socks, can I?! lol! 

 

The best thing about this new state of mind is that I'm carrying it outside my home. I'm more polite and in tune to other people, I'm more forgiving and easy going and I wear a smile. 

 

This is a concept that will probably not catch on here in the USA but I can only do my part. For those of you who've grown up in this culture, what do you do to perpetuate it? How has it made a difference in your lives?

[Madeleine]

It's become quite popular in the UK too, I think it came from Denmark originally.  Glad it's helping you, Virginia.

[Little Pixie]

I`m a big fan of candles too ; I see buying them as a necessity now, just part of the usual supermarket shop.

 

I`m also a big fan of Gretchen Rubin - she has some great tips for making your home snugglier.

[Talisman]

I have heard of hygge but don't know an awful lot about it other than what you already say. 

 

The best way I have found personally to live my life is through the practise of mindfulness, which by the sound of it incorporates components of hygge, or  maybe it's the other way around? A lot of people get confused about the difference between mindfulness and meditation seeming to think they are the same thing, and although it is true that mindfulness can be practised as a form of meditation, there is more to it than just this. It is a whole way of seeing and viewing the world. Where mediation is designed to switch off the mind, mindfulness is more about expanding the mind to take in everything around you and see it and yourself as it really is without judgment. It is really about being present to everything and just observing it all. This can show you an awful lot about yourself, but also about others, some of which you might not always like. I tend to eat really quickly for example, as for years I had jobs where all I had was maybe a 15 minute break which really wasn't good for my digestion. I started to slow down then when I ate so that I could experience and observe everything about the eating process - the feeling of the food of in my mouth, all the different flavours and so, how it feels when I swallow. 

 

You can do this with anything in your life - it doesn't mean that you have to do everything slowly, but it does mean that you nave to mentally observe yourself and everything around you as you do whatever it is. Walking across the garden for example, feel the cold and the damp in the air, and breathe in all the smells of the rotting leaves, the dew on the grass etc., the crispness in the air and see how that makes you feel. Even with mundane things like washing the dishes, or brushing your teeth. I guarantee you it will be very difficult not to smile and you won't ever at these things in the same way again! 

 

You can use mindfulness as well to examine as why do you things in a certain way and how you relate to others by observing yourself in interactions with other people and also by observing them. You get to the point sometimes when you can almost watch the different emotions coming to the surface as you react to certain things and change that emotion in mid flow so that you react differently. That takes an awful lot of practise mind you. Mindfulness has been a complete game changer for me that has taught and shown me an inordinate amount about myself and how and why I behave like I do and sometimes how stupid and pointless it all is. I find myself laughing about a lot of it!