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bath towel and shook it limply,  like as if he was a puppy tapping a leaf in a park. 

"I will tell you my neighbour, that I want you to go and switch off the taps in your flat, or what remains of it. Then take your stinking bath and put it in the nearest bin. I am having 🇫🇷..... Fren..." 

"Mais out,  you home terrible.. I was juste telling ze man about ze French letteur when ze ceiling caved.." 

"Now wait a while chaps  and chapettes, isn't it time that we sorted it all out convivially?  Curmudgeonly is the name but let's not get nasty about that. Snoring 😴 is a scourge of.... 

Edited by itsmeagain

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poppy   

'Shut it!' 'Tassez vous' barked David and Solange in unison.

'Well, that's a fine howdy-do-dee! A fellow's just trying to bring a little 'entente cordiale' to a sticky situation and you bite his ruddy head off!' But he didn't seem in any hurry to leave, things were far too entertaining for that.

'If you chaps would give me a bit of a hand in clearing up my flat,' said Martin, 'I'd be frightfully grateful. Shouldn't take more than a few hours.' There was a long silence, followed by ...

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the re arrival of Edith Stribble, who had asked Martin to have a shower. 

"Young man, what a fool you seem. 

I think we need to get to grips, here, with the frightful state of your flat. No will not be taken for an answer. Not for nothing did I do 48 years as a hospital cleaner." 

So off she went, mop, bucket, brushes and cloths, marching into Martin's dirty, stinking, flat. 

" Mind the hole in the bathroom floor ", declared Martin, thinking.... 

Edited by itsmeagain

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poppy   

the old biddy's eyesight might not be up to snuff.

'Nothing wrong with me eyes, laddie. Now get to work!' and Edith brandished something looking suspiciously like an electric cattle prod under his nose. She plonked herself down in one of Martin's decrepit looking chairs, whose soundness she failed to first ascertain, with the unfortunate ...

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poppy   

triggering an unexpected chain of disturbing events. Firstly, she leapt from the mushy seat, and 'accidentally' (well, that's the story she stuck to, anyway) zapped Martin on his more than ample behind with the cattle prod, causing him to ...

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trip up, he then fell headlong into a bowl of fermenting custard he had just been preparing to eat, which led to his face looking like Mount 🗻 Etna on a bad day. Yellow...... 

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