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What's Up in September 2016?


Athena

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I don't have much news, just popping in to say hi. I'm really tired, think it's the humidity/warmth. My first review from my supporter in my online programme is today, so it'll be interesting to see if she has anything useful to contribute (she's just a volunteer) or if it'll be general encouragement.

 

I don't feel like doing much today, but I'm gonna make myself go to town. Also currently avoiding Facebook quite a lot as I'm way too addicted to it. I have notifications for messenger on my phone, so if anyone actually messages me directly, I'll know.

I hope you feel less tired soon :(

 

I am absolutely shattered. After 6 weeks the stress of being a man down at work is now beginning to show. It looks set to continue for a while yet as my colleague has been signed off this time until October 2nd. The problem is that I have a week off starting October 2nd and when I return, my Manager has 2 weeks off, meaning that he will be on his own for one week, and I have to cover the entire site on my own for the 2 weeks after I get back. It won't feel as if I have even had a holiday after that.

 

The two of us are doing what we can, but the cracks are beginning to show and will only get wider the longer this continues. In the midst of all of this I have requested a long overdue pay rise. My colleague who is off sick has a slightly higher and better paid position than myself due to the fact that he has some extra responsibilities. I have though been doing a lot of those things as well for some considerable time, and now that my Manager is training me on how to do the ordering (my colleagues main extra responsibility - I placed my first order today), I feel that I should be being paid the same as him. Bear in mind that he is sullen and uncooperative, and doesn't do his job that well anyway - I have in fact been picking up the slack for him and papering over the cracks more or less since I started there. After 2 1/2 years I am tired of this situation and am determined to do something about it.

I hope things get better soon :(. It doesn't sound fair that you're not being paid as much as your collegue. I hope he will be okay on his own and that managing things on your own won't be too terrible :empathy:.

 

My boyfriend's computer broke beyond repair some time ago (it was pretty old). We had to wait for my boyfriend to get a part of his inheritance so we could buy a new computer. The computer parts arrived yesterday so we spent part of yesterday putting the computer together (and by we, I really mean him :P. I mostly just hold a torch and such. But I do know what he's doing. I got tired yesterday at some point so I rested instead). Today we're going to continue with that, as it isn't done yet. We could've asked the shop to put it together for us, but it cost extra money and my boyfriend said he likes putting it together himself. We'll also be putting a new hard drive in my computer. I have already unpacked my new speakers (for my computer). The old ones broke after my mum blew a fuse with the leaf blower (which was quite unfortunate).

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I can sympathise with you re covering for your colleague Talisman - I had a similar situation last year when I covered for a colleague who was signed off for 6 weeks, if we hadn't had the Easter break in the middle I don't think I'd have managed, surprising how much difference an extra 2 days break can make.  It does sound unfair that you're not getting any recompense for all your extra work though, do you have appraisals or any meetings with management in which you feel you might be able to mention the situation? 

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I had a meeting with HR today, which went surprisingly well. We looked at his and my job specs and compared the differences to see which of the extra tasks that he is paid more for I am already doing. It turns out that there are a quite a few of them and I am being trained and getting some experience in the rest of them. They have agreed then to review my job spec. They have also as a temporary measure increased my Managers hours to full time and offered our gardener who has also on occasion helped with the cleaning an extra 2 days a week to help us out. At the moment he works 3 days a week in the garden, so he will also now be working full time (3 days gardening, 2 days cleaning). All of this will be paid for using the money that they are not having to pay my colleague who is now on SSP. The CEO has also suggested that I should receive a good will bonus with whatever is left over - the exact sum of which is to be confirmed.

 

Once my Department Head returns from holiday on 22nd he will review my job spec and see what can be done to increase my wages on a more permanent basis. He is a good man who knows how hard I work and with whom I get on with very well. I would be very surprised then if things did not go my way. I may not get all of what I asking for, but I am reasonably confident that there will be something on the table, which has lifted a great load off my shoulders.

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Stand up for your rights Talisman!

 

Hey y'all!

 

I've been busy with school and decluttering my home. I had a few more areas that needed my attention so I dug in and got them done. The closets and chests needed a thorough going through. I ended up filling two large yard bags of clothes and dropped them off at the local thrift store. I then cleaned linen closets and lastly, our fridge/freezer and deep freezer. 

 

I got up this morning and did some studying, walked the dog and did some raking in the backyard. I have a class in two hours but I plan to take a nap before then.

 

Oh yeah, I set up a new work area in my den. Although I have a study, I find that I'm spending more time in the den (since I've been cozying it up). I still need to have a dedicated study space so I got that taken care of.

 

Have a good one!

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I am trying to Virginia, but I won't pretend that I find it easy. By the time I got home yesterday I was completely physically and emotionally shattered by all of it. The last time I felt like that was when I left the first nursing home I worked in at the beginning of 2012, which was run by someone I can only describe as a sociopath and a bully. This is a real wake up call for me that I have to do something about the stress levels. Coran thinks I should see the Doctor and try and get a week off myself, but I am loathe to do this, as I know that the problem will still be there unless I actually talk to them.

 

What doesn't help is my Managers ADHD. Most people think this affects only children, but of course if you do have this as a child, you don't grow out of it. You have it for life. His behaviour can be extremely unpredictable and inconsistent. He is brilliant as a Manager, saying and doing all the right things to support me with training and of course my bid for a pay rise, but when it comes to the actual workload it is a different story. He seems to need constant reminders as what needs doing and seems not to be able to prioritise, or a lot of the time, do the work effectively. There seems no attention to detail, or attention perhaps to the wrong details - dusting the top of doors for example, which can't be seen, but not cleaning the tops of the bins which can. He is also constantly on the radio bending by ear, asking me to do things etc. He told me in confidence that he has this condition, without disclosing it to his own boss or HR, but I can see that it is causing problems. I have advised him to tell them, as he has 3 month review coming up soon, and as it stands it looks likely that this will be extended. Once they know about his condition, they will then be able to help with it and understand why he behaves this way, but if he doesn't, I can see that it will only lead to more problems, for everyone concerned.

 

It really is not a good situation there at the moment there, and I will be glad when I do finally get a week off to go to Prague in 3 weeks.

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I've been busy with school and decluttering my home. I had a few more areas that needed my attention so I dug in and got them done. The closets and chests needed a thorough going through. I ended up filling two large yard bags of clothes and dropped them off at the local thrift store. I then cleaned linen closets and lastly, our fridge/freezer and deep freezer. 

 

I got up this morning and did some studying, walked the dog and did some raking in the backyard. I have a class in two hours but I plan to take a nap before then.

 

Oh yeah, I set up a new work area in my den. Although I have a study, I find that I'm spending more time in the den (since I've been cozying it up). I still need to have a dedicated study space so I got that taken care of.

 

It sounds like you're having a productive weekend :).

 

I'm really struggling with insomnia at the minute - I cant sleep at all at night but all I want to do in the day is sleep - which would be fine but with a nearly two year old thats not going to happen. I'm hoping that I'll sleep better tonight but not holding my breath :(

Awww :( I hope your insomnia gets better soon. 

 

What doesn't help is my Managers ADHD. Most people think this affects only children, but of course if you do have this as a child, you don't grow out of it. You have it for life. His behaviour can be extremely unpredictable and inconsistent. He is brilliant as a Manager, saying and doing all the right things to support me with training and of course my bid for a pay rise, but when it comes to the actual workload it is a different story. He seems to need constant reminders as what needs doing and seems not to be able to prioritise, or a lot of the time, do the work effectively. There seems no attention to detail, or attention perhaps to the wrong details - dusting the top of doors for example, which can't be seen, but not cleaning the tops of the bins which can. He is also constantly on the radio bending by ear, asking me to do things etc. He told me in confidence that he has this condition, without disclosing it to his own boss or HR, but I can see that it is causing problems. I have advised him to tell them, as he has 3 month review coming up soon, and as it stands it looks likely that this will be extended. Once they know about his condition, they will then be able to help with it and understand why he behaves this way, but if he doesn't, I can see that it will only lead to more problems, for everyone concerned.

 

It really is not a good situation there at the moment there, and I will be glad when I do finally get a week off to go to Prague in 3 weeks.

I have ADD (which is ADHD without the H for 'hyperactive') (I also have autism). As far as I've learned, a lot of people who have ADHD as children, still have it as adults (and one must have already had it as a child, to have it as an adult). For myself, I've developed some coping skills to help me deal with some of my symptoms. For example, my temporary memory isn't so great. I make lots of notes and lists for myself, as to not forget what I need to do during a day (or the next day), to serve as a reminder for myself. I realise that not everyone with AD(H)D has the ability to do things like that though. For me it probably partially comes from my autism, I want to know what's coming so I write a lot of things down that will happen or things that I need to do.

 

I don't know if it's an idea for your manager, as we're all different and what works for one person, might not work for another. I'm quite aware of my issues and while I generally remember bigger / more important-to-me things or things that I'm quite stressed about, other small things I'm likely to forget about, so I write them down. If I do my laundry I usually make myself a note listing the time the machine will be done, so I know to do go there and take the laundry out and hang it up (just to name a mundane example of something I did yesterday). Strangely enough, my long term memory is very good. I do still have concentration issues though and I get quite tired and I tend to lose myself in smaller details (also an autism thing).

 

Anyway, good luck with your work and your manager. I hope things will work out okay for you :friends0:. I do think it's better if he tells his supervisors about his ADHD.

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I do too Athena, which is why I have encouraged him to do so. I have suggested to him that he makes lists for himself, as even for someone without ADHD it can be helpful, but so far he hasn't taken this on board. When he told me about his condition (and it is good that he did, as it means he feels he can trust me) he said that most of the time he manages to control it, but it is clear to me that this isn't true. I know that other members of my team have mentioned things to the Department Head who is my Managers boss, and I had a chat with him myself about my own concerns before I knew that he had this. I feel a bit bad about the fact that I did this now, but of course at the time I didn't know what the reasons were. It goes without saying that my Manager doesn't know that I did this. Issues have been raised about his time keeping as well, although he seems to have this under control now, and the cleaning standards in general. He has his 3 month review soon and I would be surprised if this wasn't extended. I think he is worried about the consequences of not disclosing this sooner, and in a way he is right to be concerned, but if he doesn't I can see that things will only get worse. The place I work at is a centre for adults with disabilities, and at least some of them probably have ADD and ADHD, so it isn't a new thing for them. If anyone is going to be understanding then they will be. He has to tell them.

 

I am feeling better and a lot more relaxed after a day off though, and should hopefully be okay to go back to work tomorrow, knowing that our gardener is going to be working with us. I have a spa appointment later on this afternoon which should help - 3 hours soaking in the whirlpools and saunas. There is nothing like a good steaming to get all the tension out of your body.

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Had a quiet weekend, relaxing and reading.  Went out for coffee yesterday morning, and found a French patisserie I've never been to before and had the best almond and chocolate croissant I've ever had!  Will definitely go back if I'm that way again.

 

Been watching some paralympics in the evening, and it's been another fantastic effort from Team GB - second on the medal table again,  although this time China are ahead of us.  Just caught the end of the mens wheelchair basketball game between GB and Germany.

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Is it just me or do weekends just fly by?  Luckily I finish up on Friday for a weeks annual leave and all I can is, roll on Friday.  It cannot come quick enough for me.  The last couple of weeks have been really hectic work wise with a member of staff resigning (or more like walking out as she didn't work her notice, although if I'm honest it's no great loss) and with other members of staff being on annual leave we've been down to the bare minimum meaning my workload has piled up.  This week I'm going to have to try and play catch up so that I'm relatively up-to-date so that I'm not coming back to too much on my return (my work doesn't get done if I'm not there).  On the plus side the mood is a lot more relaxed now and people seem happier (even if they are a little overworked) so it's not all bad.  Sometimes you don't realise how much one person can affect the mood of others until they're gone.  The whole atmosphere has changed, for the better, and it's actually a really nice and happy place to work now.

 

Still, I'm really looking forward to my week off and I am planning on spending the majority of it curled up with a good book or hopefully multiple books.  I'm going to have myself a week long read-a-thon!

 

Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

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I do too Athena, which is why I have encouraged him to do so. I have suggested to him that he makes lists for himself, as even for someone without ADHD it can be helpful, but so far he hasn't taken this on board. When he told me about his condition (and it is good that he did, as it means he feels he can trust me) he said that most of the time he manages to control it, but it is clear to me that this isn't true. I know that other members of my team have mentioned things to the Department Head who is my Managers boss, and I had a chat with him myself about my own concerns before I knew that he had this. I feel a bit bad about the fact that I did this now, but of course at the time I didn't know what the reasons were. It goes without saying that my Manager doesn't know that I did this. Issues have been raised about his time keeping as well, although he seems to have this under control now, and the cleaning standards in general. He has his 3 month review soon and I would be surprised if this wasn't extended. I think he is worried about the consequences of not disclosing this sooner, and in a way he is right to be concerned, but if he doesn't I can see that things will only get worse. The place I work at is a centre for adults with disabilities, and at least some of them probably have ADD and ADHD, so it isn't a new thing for them. If anyone is going to be understanding then they will be. He has to tell them.

 

I am feeling better and a lot more relaxed after a day off though, and should hopefully be okay to go back to work tomorrow, knowing that our gardener is going to be working with us. I have a spa appointment later on this afternoon which should help - 3 hours soaking in the whirlpools and saunas. There is nothing like a good steaming to get all the tension out of your body.

 

I'm glad you're feeling a lot better :). It does sound as if they will be understanding of his condition. I hope things work out for your manager and for you.

 

Had a quiet weekend, relaxing and reading.  Went out for coffee yesterday morning, and found a French patisserie I've never been to before and had the best almond and chocolate croissant I've ever had!  Will definitely go back if I'm that way again.

 

I'm glad you had a nice weekend :).

 

Is it just me or do weekends just fly by?  Luckily I finish up on Friday for a weeks annual leave and all I can is, roll on Friday.  It cannot come quick enough for me.  The last couple of weeks have been really hectic work wise with a member of staff resigning (or more like walking out as she didn't work her notice, although if I'm honest it's no great loss) and with other members of staff being on annual leave we've been down to the bare minimum meaning my workload has piled up.  This week I'm going to have to try and play catch up so that I'm relatively up-to-date so that I'm not coming back to too much on my return (my work doesn't get done if I'm not there).  On the plus side the mood is a lot more relaxed now and people seem happier (even if they are a little overworked) so it's not all bad.  Sometimes you don't realise how much one person can affect the mood of others until they're gone.  The whole atmosphere has changed, for the better, and it's actually a really nice and happy place to work now.

 

Still, I'm really looking forward to my week off and I am planning on spending the majority of it curled up with a good book or hopefully multiple books.  I'm going to have myself a week long read-a-thon!

 

Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

I hope you enjoy your week off :)! Good luck with work for the next few days.

 

I had a nice weekend. My boyfriend's computer is all put together and he's been busy getting things to work (not everything works straight away under Windows 10). I think most things are working now. I've been reading this weekend and I've also been busy organising files on the computer. I hadn't done this in a while, and I'm having fun with it most of the time.

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I'm really struggling with insomnia at the minute - I cant sleep at all at night but all I want to do in the day is sleep - which would be fine but with a nearly two year old thats not going to happen. I'm hoping that I'll sleep better tonight but not holding my breath :(

 

That's a horrible feeling - minus the kid, I know it well, but I struggle at work when I'm like that.

 

It really is not a good situation there at the moment there, and I will be glad when I do finally get a week off to go to Prague in 3 weeks.

 

Ooooooooooh Prague! I really want to go there.

 

Is it just me or do weekends just fly by? 

 

Definitely not just you. I am not ready for it to be Monday.

 

I had a bit of a weird weekend. Saturday night I had a really unpleasant experience with a guy from a dating sitewhich left me quite shaken, and I wound up going to stay with a friend who lives up the road. We were up til seven am playing a Yoshi game on his new Wii U, and went we finally went to bed I got so many lovely cuddles. It both made me really happy and really sad - I do really like this friend, but he has anxiety/depression and I hadn't even seen him since June because he wasn't feeling up to it. So that's kind of the sad part, the happy part being how nice it was to spend time with him. it really made me reflect on how I've been chasing after another friend who I argued with recently (about my negativity and attitude) and waiting around for him to get over it. I deserve better than that - I deserve friends who will let me come over at 2 in the morning and play video games with me without questioning or criticizing why I need that. So I cut ties with the other friend, and so far I don't feel bad about it at all.

 

My online programme for helping with my anxiety is also going pretty well, and hopefully today my friend will be able to book a day off in December so we can go to Cologne for the weekend. Fingers crossed she'll be allowed take the day.

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Insomnia's horrible, I can sympathise.  I found sleeping tablets were useless, both the prescribed and "natural" ones (Nytol).  Has anyone got any tips or advice?  Being really humid at night hasn't helped either.

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I had a bit of a weird weekend. Saturday night I had a really unpleasant experience with a guy from a dating sitewhich left me quite shaken, and I wound up going to stay with a friend who lives up the road. We were up til seven am playing a Yoshi game on his new Wii U, and went we finally went to bed I got so many lovely cuddles. It both made me really happy and really sad - I do really like this friend, but he has anxiety/depression and I hadn't even seen him since June because he wasn't feeling up to it. So that's kind of the sad part, the happy part being how nice it was to spend time with him. it really made me reflect on how I've been chasing after another friend who I argued with recently (about my negativity and attitude) and waiting around for him to get over it. I deserve better than that - I deserve friends who will let me come over at 2 in the morning and play video games with me without questioning or criticizing why I need that. So I cut ties with the other friend, and so far I don't feel bad about it at all.

 

My online programme for helping with my anxiety is also going pretty well, and hopefully today my friend will be able to book a day off in December so we can go to Cologne for the weekend. Fingers crossed she'll be allowed take the day.

Sorry to hear about the unpleasant experience. I'm glad you had a nice time with your friend though. I hope she gets to take the day off.

 

Insomnia's horrible, I can sympathise.  I found sleeping tablets were useless, both the prescribed and "natural" ones (Nytol).  Has anyone got any tips or advice?  Being really humid at night hasn't helped either.

My boyfriend suffers from insomnia (and he has M.E.). He doesn't take any sleeping tablets, but on occasion he takes melatonin. We try to get him to stick to somewhat regular bedtimes, which helps. Before we lived together, he'd sometimes be up during the night and asleep in the afternoon, sometimes he'd stay up for 2 days and then sleep for almost a day. I would phone him and I could never be sure if he wouldn't be in bed. It's like his body clock is not 24 hours. But anyway, it's been helping to have him stick to a more usual bed time, so that at least he's generally up during the afternoon and sometimes the morning.

 

His M.E. / CFS of course definitely doesn't help with his insomnia. He often feels worse when he wakes up in the morning than when he went to bed. So because he feels allright when it's bedtime, it was hard for him to stick to it when we weren't living together yet (and even now he sometimes goes to bed a bit later than I feel he should). I go to bed pretty early myself, so I'm usually asleep for a few hours before he comes to bed, and I get up early so I'm up a few hours before he gets up.

 

What also helps him, is that he used to watch a lot of TV in the bedroom before bed, but then we read or heard somewhere it was better not to watch TV in the bedroom, to really associate the bed with sleeping. So if he wants to watch TV he has to do it in the living room instead (the TV in the bedroom is a really old one my grandmother didn't want anymore, anyway, whereas the TV in the living room is a bit newer). That seems to help as well.

 

I can't really think of anything else. I would help him more if I knew how, but I think sleeping well will always be a problem for him. If he sleeps for a few hours then that's considered a good night. He often sleeps for a few minutes, then wakes up again, then falls asleep again for a short while, then wakes up again. In the morning he sometimes is no longer asleep but his M.E. makes him feel too tired to get up. Sometimes he's numb and can't move. He definitely feels better in the evening just before bed. Sometimes it takes him to whole day to finally start to feel better, and then he has to go to bed again.

 

Of course since my boyfriend has M.E., things work differently than for someone who doesn't have M.E. . I don't know if any of this helps in any way, but here's our story of the insomnia, anyway. My medication makes me feel quite sleepy when I take it in the evening, so it's not a problem for me to fall asleep in the evening. Once I'm awake in the morning (and it's past 5:00 or such), I can't sleep anymore and I just get up. I also can't sleep during the day (except maybe those times when I had the flu really bad and I barely slept at night).

 

I hope you, Laura, and you, Madeleine, feel better soon :(.

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Thanks Athena - yes I've heard that routine helps, and also not having any gadgets in the bedroom, which I don't have, I used to listen to the radio for a while but now I just read for about 20-30 minutes.  Trouble is I live on a main road so it can get a bit noisy sometimes, plus the traffic starts fairly early.  I don't know maybe some people just have erratic sleeping patterns! :o

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Oh yes having a sleep during the day is an absolute killer for me, I tried it on a walking weekend when we came back around 4.00, didn't sleep well and woke up with a splitting headache and feeling sick, and I've noticed that happen before when I've tried it.  My friends manage to have a nap during the day if they want one, but it makes me feel even worse.  4-5 hours is the most I get as well, that's a good night's sleep for me ;)

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I've just booked a weekend in Cologne in December with a friend to go check out the Christmas markets! We went with Cologne as it was the cheapest place flights and accomm wise in Germany coz we're cheapskates broke :D

 

Really looking forward to it, its the first thing in ages I've had to look forward to.

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I've just booked a weekend in Cologne in December with a friend to go check out the Christmas markets! We went with Cologne as it was the cheapest place flights and accomm wise in Germany coz we're cheapskates broke :D

 

Really looking forward to it, its the first thing in ages I've had to look forward to.

That sounds great! Hope you have fun
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I've just booked a weekend in Cologne in December with a friend to go check out the Christmas markets! We went with Cologne as it was the cheapest place flights and accomm wise in Germany coz we're cheapskates broke :D

 

Really looking forward to it, its the first thing in ages I've had to look forward to.

I've been in Cologne, it's a nice place. I wish you a lot of fun :D.

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