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Artichokes. Trixie had never been over fond of artichokes, but it looked like just one of the goodies on the menu. She ordered a chai latte and an extra large slice of banoffee pie and sat down for a food and text fest. After all, it had been a whole ...

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violated! That lipstick was here favourite and ultra expensive! She realised she was unable to pay for her refreshments and the proprietor was looking rather twitchy, so she rang Cyril to see if he could help. 'The number you are calling is non-existent. Please try again.'

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why Cyril wasn't answering her calls, after all it was definitely the right number. When she'd asked for it he said he'd already added it to her contact numbers when she'd left her purse with him to go to the loo! She tried Bertie's number.

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copious, she began to look like she'd spent far too long in an overheated sauna surrounded by a mound of cut onions.

'Out! Get out! You're scaring away my customers with your terrible caterwauling! They will think I've poisoned you!' and the proprietor pushed Trixie unceremoniously out the door. She headed back towards ...

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the 3 wheeler they had been left with.An old man with a limp passed her, muttering about the increase in the price of bread at the supermarket.

 

Trixie got into the car.As she drove off, Bertie appeared, waving at her as if he was a

Edited by itsmeagain
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was about.

Trixie, in her own little world,  said she was experiencing cell phone reception problems, it was the only explanation for the continuing silence from the charming Cyril. Then, 'What do you mean you've found out what all the fuss is about? What fuss?'

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afternoon tea. We had butterfly cakes and fairy bread and chocolate chip biscuits with sprinkles on top. I learned some jolly interesting facts about birds and bees too. And she's a real good drawer. She drew a corker Hoary Puffleg and Masked Booby. I think I might ...

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take up ornithology as she showed me some nice tits , a shag, and of course some boobies

Now I know how good.....it can be..'.'You mean to say you spent your penny on a cheap massage parlour trollop? I thought....

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'How dare you besmirch the name of such a beautiful innocent lady???!!!' and Bertie retreated into a huffy silence.

'I'm sorry, Bertie, I didn't mean it. Really. I'm glad you had a nice time. It's just Cyril's number is suddenly nonexistent and a whole lot of stuff is missing from my handbag. I'm really worried. You don't think ...

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he's doodled me do you Bertram?'

Bertie sighed.

'I don't know why you ever entertained him.

You had me to think of and you hurt my feelings.'

'But as I said I already have a boyfriend.'

Bertie chortled,a bitter, sour, contemptuous laugh which really......

Edited by itsmeagain
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sounded more like a half-strangled warthog. Trixie suddenly sat bolt upright, a look of dawning awareness on her face. 'I didn't realise it at the time, I was kind of under his hynotic spell, but I believe Cyril was pumping me about our interest in Gus Despicable! I just happened to mention him, and then ...and then...' she said, trying to remember exactly, 'I'm sure he was surreptitiously stuffing a Mudshoot United scarf into ...

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