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poppy

Continue the Story Game

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put on the satnav.

'At the chip shop named Scum Fish Surprise, turn right', said a female voice.

Trixie said she may see if Gus Despicable is up for a bit of flirty conduct..after all he....

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'd had a bit of a fling with her at one time. With any luck he'd be able to get them into the inner circle of troublemakers.

'Continue driving in the same direction for 150 kms,' said the plummy Satnav voice who sounded like a cross between the Queen and Lady Mary from Downton Abbey.

'What???' exclaimed Bertie, 'And who chose this atrocious woman's voice for the satnav??'

Edited by poppy

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As the miles shuttled by , Trixie, lulled into a stupor by the conversation about bikes, fell asleep. When she awoke the windows were down and a drenched woman was telling Bertie

'No dear you're in Cambridge...that there's a London address.'

Flummoxed, Bertie asked

Edited by itsmeagain

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if there was a Lemonface Close in Cambridge.

'Oh yes dear, but you have to check the postcode, see? That there's a London postcode. Not using one of those Tomtom arrangements are you? Goodness me, hahaha, they'll lead you a merry dance, every time.'

So Bertie, swearing away volubly and intermittently grinding his teeth, turned the Plastic Pig around and ...

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angrily drove through the rain, tutting and groaning while Trixie played Candy crush and ate cheese and onion baguettes intermittently whilst humming Erotica by Madonna and occasionally hissing 'its different for a girl.'

Bertie drove through the teeming rain....

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angrily drove through the rain, tutting and groaning while Trixie played Candy crush and ate cheese and onion baguettes intermittently whilst humming Erotica by Madonna and occasionally hissing 'its different for a girl.'

Bertie drove through the teeming rain....

 

:rolol:  :rolol:  I cracked up, Itsme.  Absolutely classic!! :D 

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nose almost touching the windscreen as he tried to see the road ahead. Not only did the Reliant lack any kind of demister or heater, it also had vacuum wipers, if he drove slowly they went like billy-oh, but as soon as he put his foot down, they almost stalled.

'I think I'll download Pokemon Go, Bertie, we're crawling along so slowly, I'll be able to capture them as we go.'

She started humming Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Want To Have Fun, which was almost enough to ...

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:rolol::rolol:I cracked up, Itsme. Absolutely classic!! :D

Good. One deserves a good chuckle now and again, doesn't one?

Your contributions are excellent.

Edited by itsmeagain

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nose almost touching the windscreen as he tried to see the road ahead. Not only did the Reliant lack any kind of demister or heater, it also had vacuum wipers, if he drove slowly they went like billy-oh, but as soon as he put his foot down, they almost stalled.

'I think I'll download Pokemon Go, Bertie, we're crawling along so slowly, I'll be able to capture them as we go.'

She started humming Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Want To Have Fun, which was almost enough to ...

make Bertie cry.

'We are pulling over at the next service spot as I need a tinkle', he said.

'Oh good...me too',she replied, giggling because a Facebook friend had lost a shoe in the rain swept high street today, arriving at work ten minutes late after getting the shoe back.

'Marvellous beverage bar', cried the sign at exit 543 by Cambridge south.

Bertie parked up and ran into the place, looking for a toilet. Trixie entered the cafe and said 'A hot sweet coffee please. '

Bertie had a tinkle and waited by the door. Fifteen mins later a text came through.'You ok hun? Only I am having a drinkie, you said drinkie was a priority.'

'I said tinkle...'

'Oh tinkle..wine eh?'

Bertie ran into the cafe, right forefinger prodding the air. He stopped by her table, a grimy cafetiere, milk, and sugar lying upon the table.

'I said t..i.n..k..l..e..tinkle..wee wee..not sat here drinking coffee like some aristocratic lady on a bar jaunt through Paris!!'

'If I tell Annabelle you shouted she will...

Edited by itsmeagain

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not be happy! Not one little bit. In fact, she won't let you borrow her bike anymore and you'll be stuck driving that three-wheeled pregnant rollerskate!'

Bertie deflated like, unbeknownst to him, the back tyre of the Reliant was doing at that very moment.

'Triple shot black coffee, please,' he sighed and sat down beside Trixie, spooning in five teaspoons of sugar in the hope of it giving him some strength.

'Trixie, do you think you could ...

Edited by poppy

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drive the remainder of the way to your ex boyfriend's house? '

'Ex boyfriend? Oh Gus Despicable.. it was a mere bit of fun..and yes I will drive.'

Trixie tried switching the engine off then on, pushing the gas pedal like as if......

Edited by itsmeagain

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she was blowing up an air bed with a foot pump. Clouds of black smoke billowed out the exhaust and if the little car had been equipped with a rev counter, it would have gone off the richter scale. Trixie ground it into gear, dropped the clutch and they shot off like a cork out of a shaken ginger beer bottle. However, it wasn't a smooth passage. The flat tyre caused them to bounce up and down and teeter dangerously to one side, finally ...

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coming to a juddering halt in a muddy ditch by the side of the road.

'Get the gear out of the boot' said Bertie as they

got waved at from a car of young louts driving past.

'Never have I...'

Trixie's phone rang.

It was Annabelle.

Edited by itsmeagain

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'Where the heck are you???' she shouted down the phone, 'You were supposed to be back here hours ago!!'

'Car trouble ...sorry ...can't hear ...bad reception ...breaking up ...' and Trixie handed the phone to Bertie who did a very convincing impression of static and crackly noises. He then hung up. 'That'll teach her for giving us such a heap of junk to drive!'

'Now Trixie, get the jack out of the boot and I'll ...

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do the business. This car is a pile of junk. Just because we daubed her vehicle in tomato sauce my god we do not merit such contempt. It's as if she never heard the word manners. Snooty....'

.....Bertie's phone rang.

'Its Annabelle. Give me your exact location .'

'In a ditch on the edge of Cambridge. A man passing says on a clear day one can see the university. Magnifique as one ought to say if one is French.'

Edited by itsmeagain

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'Stop talking nonsense, Bertie. I expect you back here within ...'

He started doing his hissing, phone interference noises again and hung up.

'Bertie, there's no jack, there's not even a spare tyre! But I just remembered, I'm an AA member. I'll ring them!'

' 'arry's Auto's 'ere. 'ow can I 'elp?' answered an  'H' pronunciationally challenged chappie.

' 'elp, I mean help,' said Trixie, 'we're ...

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in a ditch south of Cambridge in a rubbish Robin Reliant. Given the fact we need to be back at work in London...'

''i darlin'....me noime's 'arrry an oim up for a larf if yer get me drift...nudge nudge...but

if yer wanna extricoit yerself out a this ditch then oim yer man..moi moit Wilf Cantdoit can actually do it..'e will reach yer in 'alf an hour. 'E is fully.....

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h'equipped for h'all contingencies so can put yer feets up and take the weight orf loike.'

'Put our feet up indeed!! Where the heck does he think we are? Sitting in a lazy boy??'

Disgruntled, they sat down on the edge of the muddy ditch and waited. Half an hour ....three quarters of an hour ... an hour and a half.

Trixie's phone battery had gone flat from catching pokemon and Bertie's was on the way out from tetris.

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A passing motorist stopped .

A smartly dressed bloke asked, his blue tie flapping in the wind,

'Are you guys ok? I have been past three times within the past hour and you have been.....

Edited by itsmeagain

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sitting there in the ditch the whole time. He gallantly held out a hand to Trixie and she gave him her grubby one. There was a loud sucking noise as he hauled her out of the mud. Bertie was left to find his own way out. The chap was driving the latest Range Rover and winched them out in a jiffy.

'We'll have to get the tyre to a garage for you, before they close, you come with me, my dear.'

'You better stay here in case the AA comes, Bertie. Guard the Reliant.'

Bertie hoped ...

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that their troubles were soon to come to an end.

'My name is Cyril...Cyril Bauble'.

'Trixie Trixiebell. My colleague there is Bertram.'

Ted Stocking, 43, owned Stocking incorporated..'guaranteed to knock your car into order.' Cyril

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said , 'Let's go round to mine and you can freshen up a bit while the tyre's being mended.'

'Freshen up!' laughed Trixie, 'it's a hosing down I need!'

But once at his flat, his smooth-talking took on a more menacing tone.

'Right, I know you work for Annabelle Chiffon. Tell me all you know about ...

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her and this fake detective agency she's running. I am more of a detective than her and I am no detective believe me. Oh I can tell she's evil that Chiffon.

You see..well it's like this Trixie..once upon a time.....

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...well, not that long ago really... I had a bit of a thing for her. She led me a merry dance, I can tell you! Ice Queen she is. Hinted at this and that if only I lavished her with gifts. That car she's driving now was from me! Fancy restaurants, best hotels, jewelery, you name it, she got it. But when I asked her to make an honest man of me, come home to meet mother, she just ...

 

 

'

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