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      So March has crept up on us and I'm thrilled to finally show you the GREAT (he he...) March giveaway!     This time we have a gorgeous print of The Great Gatsby's most famous line from thestorygift.co.uk AND a Great Gatsby tea from the Literary Tea Company! This particular tea is Peach Blossom (which sounds delicious and I kind of wish I could keep it myself...) and the tin features another Gatsby quote.  If you'd like to see the other literary teas available (there are lots, I spent ages looking) you can find them both at the Literary Tea Company's etsy store (https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LiteraryTeaCompany) or at their own website, theliteraryteacompany.co.uk .   As always, supporters are automatically entered into the giveaway and if you're not a supporter but want to be included in this months giveaway you can become a supporter on patreon here... https://www.patreon.com/bookclubforum .   A winner will be chosen at random on the last day of the month. Good luck!  
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poppy

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perfectly frank, she gave me some advice on a rather personal matter. A mere trifle,  nothing that need concern you, but of course, I'll be delighted to do a little grooming for her, car grooming of course!' and he tittered in a most annoying way at his little joke. 'So what's darling Annabelle up to these days? Running a debt collection agency I hear?.'

Bertie opened his mouth to reply but Trixie gave him a warning frown. He was only about to say ...

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the boss is at times bad tempered, but anyway,Trixie was calling the shots here and she asked when Gallstone can attend. "I will call to the office tomorrow....1245 midday and I will talk to....

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Annabelle about what she wants done.'

'No, no! We want the car groom to be a little surprise for her, she's very finicky about her car, we'll bring it round to you. 12.45 then,' and Trixie hung up before he could say anything more.

'Whew, that was a near thing! Imagine ...

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if she ever knew about the tomato sauce..'ere I think we ought to go to 81 Uploaders lane and spy on Bling swing." And Trixie and Bertie got into Annabelle's green car and drove mercilessly over...

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several sets of speed bumps, which would have left Annabelle fearing for her oil sump if only she knew, and narrowly avoiding a wayward pekingese who was rolling in something disgusting in the middle of the road.

They parked again in a good vantage spot to spy on Danglebean and Fly's dodgy establishment. But this time it wasn't Bing Sling leaving with a stuffed black bin liner, it was ...

Edited by poppy

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a posh man reprehensibly seen shaking hands with a large bespectacled bald bloke before zooming away in a shocking pink Viva743.

"Well really I dunno who that is and why....

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he would ever entertain the idea of driving a vehicle of such a repulsive colour!' said Bertie rather dumbfounded. 'And did you see it had eyelashes painted above the headlights and dangly pink spotted dice hanging off the mirror?? Hardly what you'd expect the criminal element to be driving!'

'Maybe that's the idea ...it throws people off track,' suggested Trixie. 'Did you ...

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know Sugar Ray Bumfluff? London's most notorious thief of toiletries from supermarkets? Well he used to wear nuclear disarmament shirts and yet he ran a successful thieved toiletries racket!!"

Bertie said he thought.....

Edited by itsmeagain

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private investigating was proving to be far more educational than he ever imagined. Bertie had led a very quiet, conservative kind of  life and all this unconventionality was thrilling.

'Now to find out what's in the bin liners, Bertrum. Let's ...

 

( :rolol: the names you come up with Sean!)

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sit here quietly and just wait."

"We are meant to be courting" said Bertie, "only you are beautiful and..."

Just then a lemon coloured VW pulled up alongside of Bertie as he sat in the passenger seat.

"Hey you" , said Bernard Mosquito , a well known local.....

Edited by itsmeagain

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stirrer of dubious character. 'Oy!! That there's me park. 'op it!!'

'I don't see a reserved sign anywhere,' replied Bertie innocently, looking around, 'what's your name and I'll just check.'

'Don't get lippy with me, mate! Move it or I'll do it for ya!'

Trixie got out of the car, key in hand and snorting dangerously. She strode over to Mossie, as his cohorts called him, and ...

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pinched his left ear, finishing her manoeuvre with a head nod , an emphatic one, like Stan and Ollie used to do in the movies.

Mossie was livid."Oi simply wadn't advoise yer to roile me..me old man is doing toime fer murder loike" said Mossie, sounding like a...

Edited by itsmeagain

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dork.

'Can't understand a word you're saying, my man,' replied Trixie, taking a leaf from the Personal Encyclopaedia of Sarcasm and Causticity according to Annabelle Chiffon. And she keyed his car.

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Mosquito was annoyed.

"Oi do not fink you are a full shillin darlin ..I fink yer fick loike", and away he strolled, hoping she wouldn't. ...

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follow him and do that thing with his ear again. He massaged it tenderly and winced. It felt twice it's normal size. He tried to catch his reflection in a shop window. He'd always been proud of his rather dainty ears. Bloody woman! Wait until ...

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I come back..with reinforcements.

Ignoring the bumbling Mosquito, Trixie proudly swaggered back to the car.

Overawed by Trixie's commanding behaviour, Bertie began to feel good about this night.."I hope I don't get too excited during the fake kissing cos you are lush" he blurted out, to the chagrin of Trixie.

"Now remember Bertie you must....

Edited by itsmeagain

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pull yourself together and stop going off into the realms of fantasy! Try to remember you're a private investigator not some over enthusiastic Lothario. We are here to do a job. I have a boyfriend. Endeavour to keep those things uppermost in your mind, please!'

'But Annabelle said ...

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we can pretend..."

"OK sit there Bertram. Now imagine we are a married couple".

 

And at that Trixie began berating him for spending too much money, for being too lazy.....

Edited by itsmeagain

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squeezing the toothpaste in the middle, never putting the toilet seat down and always forgetting to put the cat out. So convincingly did she play the part, that Bing Sling, beginning to be suspicious of their continual presence in the neighborhood, disregarded them as any kind of threat. That was when he made his first slip up.

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Bling Swing then went up to the premises and came out carrying bags of something heavy.

Bling needed two hands to heave the sack down from Danglebean and Fry.

"Get snapping now!!" hissed Trixie, and Bertie complied, snapping away like....

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a snappy thing. When God had designed Bling Sling, he hadn't exactly gone for the svelte model. He may have started off that way, but years of availing himself of the fine cuisine at Big Bertha's Chippie had rounded out any angular areas. Heaving heavy bin liners down several flights of stairs (the lift was once again out of service) had left him breathless, sweating and unable to focus. He failed to see Trixie and Bertie. And he failed to see he'd torn a big rent in one of the bin liners, revealing ...

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several folded up shirts, the type sold in Marks and Spencer and other good places to buy.

"Come on Frank, we are in a hurry", said Bling Swing. Trixie thought

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Frank looked vaguely familiar. 'Isn't that Frank Flash, the fellow that runs the market stall selling cheap men's clothes with the lables cut off? He claims they're seconds from China or Bangladesh or somewhere but we just might be onto something here, Bertie, old thing!' And she slapped him heartily on the back, which is always a bit tricky when you're sitting in a car, causing Bert to ...

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honked it again just to irritate them. 'Why do you think she chose bagpipe musical horns, Trixie?'

'Scots ancestry? I don't know! But would you stop doing that, you're drawing attention to ourselves!'

Bing Sling and Frank Flash were now ...

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