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      March Supporter Giveaway   03/02/2019

      So March has crept up on us and I'm thrilled to finally show you the GREAT (he he...) March giveaway!     This time we have a gorgeous print of The Great Gatsby's most famous line from thestorygift.co.uk AND a Great Gatsby tea from the Literary Tea Company! This particular tea is Peach Blossom (which sounds delicious and I kind of wish I could keep it myself...) and the tin features another Gatsby quote.  If you'd like to see the other literary teas available (there are lots, I spent ages looking) you can find them both at the Literary Tea Company's etsy store (https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LiteraryTeaCompany) or at their own website, theliteraryteacompany.co.uk .   As always, supporters are automatically entered into the giveaway and if you're not a supporter but want to be included in this months giveaway you can become a supporter on patreon here... https://www.patreon.com/bookclubforum .   A winner will be chosen at random on the last day of the month. Good luck!  
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poppy

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already spoken for and if you knew my boyfriend Rocky 'Bogan' Stone, you wouldn't be taking liberties, believe you me! I've got a girlfriend you should meet, though, Doris's  her name, I'll arrange a meeting. But we better get back to work or there'll be hell to pay from Annabell. Quick, look!! ...

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"Get flashing!!" , ejaculated Trixie, in earnest.

Bling Swing came out clutching a bin liner packed with something.

Dutifully Bertie flicked the camera on Trixie's phone, getting several snaps of this event.

How pleased Annabelle would be, he thought. She was so stern that she made him come over all unnecessary.

When later that day our intrepid duo returned to the office, Annabelle asked.....

Edited by itsmeagain

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what information they'd gathered. On viewing the photos she gasped, 'Isn't that the Kingpin Bing Sling clinging to that bin liner thing?'

Bertie giggled.

'What's so funny?' glared Annabelle.

'Illiteration,'replied Bertie.

'There's nothing amusing about people illittering everywhere, pure laziness and downright inconsideration, that's what it is!' Annabelle obviously ...

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was not au fait with the concept of alliteration, to a similar degree that Bertie was unfamiliar with it's pronunciation.

"To be fair Mrs Chiffon I feel the greasy bloke is indeed Bling Swing...renowned as a grade one....

Edited by itsmeagain

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'MS Chiffon, I'll thank you to remember!' interrupted Annabelle.
'Beg pardon,' muttered Bertie, feeling as if he should tug his forelock, ' ...ummm, renowned as a crook and racketeer.'
'Well, we've already established that! What we're trying to find out is what he's up to exactly. Have you got any theories? Trixie?'

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Trixie chuckled in an impish manner.

"Well..I did hear Swing Cling is nefarious in manner..that is he's a bit of a fairy beneath all the macho hyperbole."

"Outrageous and idiotic" hissed the stern mama Annabelle, her crisp white blouse....

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ironed within a millimetre of it's life. 'Rumour and hearsay mean nothing, I want cold hard evidence. You didn't think to follow him, I don't suppose! Do I have to spell everything out for you??'

'Uh hum.. well actually.. he's right here in the phone book,' said Bertie, '81 Uploaders Lane, Nether Wopping.'

'I knew that! Just checking! You better ...

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get down to Uploaders Lane tonight at 8.

You can sit in a car with Trixie.

Anyone asks you what you're up to and you claim it's a matter of awaiting the arrival of June, your mutual daughter, fresh from a piano lesson. Get me?"

Trixie said that it is.....

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stretching the bounds of imagination to think she looked old enough to have a five year old daughter!

'Bahaha, who do you think you're kidding? You could just about be her grandmother!' scoffed Annabelle.

'She's very rude and sarcastic, isn't she?' observed Bertie, as they walked towards the car, 'why do you keep working for someone like her?'

'Wait until you get your first ...

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paypacket. She writes incentives on the envelope such as

"Bertie Wertie is Annabelle's star boy" or "You are the best."

"It all sounds so utterly homely and suave...and I do think being a detective is great", said Bertie, appealing ....

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to her for reassurance.

'Well like I said, wait till you get your first pay packet, that makes up for a lot. It's the only way she knows how to keep staff with that caustic tongue of hers!'

'Fancy being so rude about your age, though' said Bertie, 'she's no spring chicken herself. How old do you reckon she is?'

'How would I know, I'm into speed dating not carbon dating!' Trixie obviously ...

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had little time for the new boss.

Suddenly wanting to seize a chance, Bertie asked if the 2 of them could "share a tasty fish supper at McLennan's Chippy prior to going to Uploaders lane."

Doing swift mental calculations, Bertie envisaged a few drinks from 3 til 4, an early repast of chips fish n peas, more drinks, a fruity suggestion to a half cut Trixie followed by 6 hours sat like lemons to spy on Bling Swing.

"Did you hear that Arturo "Nasty Joe" Maccarone has been released?" asked Bertie, his knowledge of Mafioso doing nothing to impress Trixie.

"Frankly I am pasta all dat chatter about pasta", quipped Trixie, her humour wasted on the dullard by her side.

Edited by itsmeagain

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'We could go to 'Pasta la Vista, Baby' for spaghetti if you'd rather?' suggested Bertie.

Trixie sighed, he just didn't get it, 'No fish and chips and mushy peas will be just fine, but it will have to be takeaways. We need to find a park early up Uploaders Lane so we get in a good position to see what Bling's up to.'

'There goes my chance to ...

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impress you with Giovanni's expert Italian cooking.Pasta tubes covered in the very nicest of red tomato sauces, swamped in melted mozz...what more can a duo like us want?"

Trixie decided it was better to......

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humour him or he'd go on about it all night. And it did sound rather yummy. And she was getting kind of peckish.

"Do they do takeaways?'

Edited by poppy

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"Well really we will be on duty...so the car we are watching from. But my pal Doris is wanting to meet you..will next Monday suffice Bertie?" , enquired Trixie in a coy way.

"We will see " replied Bertie, disappointed at his failure to garner interest from Trixie. They got....

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into quite a mess eating their meals. Trixie stuck to good old spag bol but Bertie proved there was a side to him that was rather more adventurous than on first impression when he requested Rigatoni con la Pajata. Unfortunately, not only did they manage to smear themselves with tomato sauce but quite a bit got onto the pristine upholstery of Annabelle's  car.

'Oh no!!!' wailed Trixie, 'what can we do now?'

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"For contingencies like this..and others I hope to get into later..I carry a box of Greeneasy wet wipes..moist but not overbearingly so".

And at that Bertie began wiping tomato sauce off the seats.

"She will....

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never notice a thing,' he said as the bright red stain spread and turned a fetching shade of pink.

'She may not be in the first flush of youth, Bertie, but she's not senile with failing eyesight! We better go and ...

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get help. She rang David Gallstone, a registered upholsterer responsible for the Royal family and keeping their limousines clean. Trixie had once rung before upon reading of how he once cleaned baby sick off the floor of an Alfa Romeo driven by

a rich footballer .

So now Trixie said. ..

Edited by itsmeagain

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to David Gallstone Esq., as he liked to be addressed, that she had a job for him.

'I only deal with the upper classes, don't you know, I have no time for riffraff and the prolateriat!' he answered in a nasally, pretentious voice with all the charm of a typhus epidemic.

'You know Ms Annabelle Chiffon, I believe? She is our employer and it's her car needing attention.'

'Ann ...Anna ...Annabelle Chiff...on, you say?' Gallstone stuttered in alarm, 'you better ...

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try Mr Augustus Bernard, owner of the Plentiful nightclub. Last time Ms Chiffon spoke to me it seemed she and he....

Edited by itsmeagain

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...'Don't try prevaricating with you salacious tales, Gallstone!' Trixie knew she had him over a barrel, Annabelle obviously had something on him by the sound of his nervous stammering. 'Will you see to the car or do I need to give my boss a ring?' 

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"Do not call me Gallstone , do call me David. I see no need for rudeness. Annabelle took some time with me got to know me..well I wil be....

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