Any ideas for helping me cope?

[Willhm]

Hello,

 

I am very new to the forum and mentioned in my introduction that I am 18 and suffer from a chronic illness which doesn't seem to have an obvious time limit to its stay with me, but most probably years and years, maybe decades. Anyway it keeps me pretty much housebound 24/7.

 

I have had this illness for 4 years and up until quite recently I have longed for my old life back, the football, the parties, going to university, going into town, but then I realised it wasn't me who wanted those things it was what everyone who I used to be around want but I actually don't. From being away from my old friends I realise that my interests lie rather far away from what I thought I wanted, some of these interests I have always subconsciously had but were in the back of my mind, probably pushed back there by playstation and texting.

 

But like I said more recently I have realised I have no interest in my past hobbies and want to embrace a completely different lifestyle, obviously I have already had to due to my illness but I want to turn it into a positive thing, not a negative.

 

In the past all I have thought of is oh no, I can't play any sport can't even walk around without feeling terrible, can't go up with friends, can't do anything basically, feel ill all the time etc. but now I want to turn it on its head and make it a positive lifestyle.

 

I feel I have matured a lot more through my illness and want to use that as a catalyst, but was wondering if anyone had any ideas?

 

I have suffered quite a bit from depression but over the last year it has improved a lot and even more recently it has been much easier, but still obviously a problem, so on some days I feel more 'up for doing things' than others.

 

Things I now enjoy doing are reading (but I mentioned due to my health I can find this very difficult to do), listening to certain things on the radio such as short stories or interesting documentaries, as well as some more light hearted things, I enjoy nature very much but am stuck inside pretty much and couldn't really garden due to health, we have a cat at home which helps quite a bit actually, I am interested a lot with what's going on so try and keep up with the news with papers or radio (I try and not watch much TV because I don't like pretty much a anything that is on but sometimes I feel so worn out its difficult to do anything else but it depresses me afterwards), I have an interest in historical things such as castles and battles and a small interest in things like watches but find it difficult to do too much about these interests as it can get depressing just to read about these things and nothing happen with it.

 

I am sorry I have gone on so long,I just feel like I really want to change my old negative life around to a really positive one and it seems like what I actually enjoy is a lot different to what I was doing. It is almost like a retired persons life, in a positive way, not a care home way, but more like gardening, enjoying reading, a much more layer back lifestyle. And as being ill is rather stressful it would be nice to have a more relaxing life as it seems as I have come to the realisation that I may have to spend the rest of my life with this illness so I best start preparing and taking the right steps rather than the wrong ones.

 

Thank you stomach if you managed to read all of this and I really appreciate it, if you have any ideas, any at all, please share them with me.

 

Thanks again.

[Willhm]

Sorry that. Should be vey much, not stomach (autocorrect).

[~Andrea~]

Hi sorry to hear about the challenges life has thrown at you. How about something creative? Painting, drawing, creative writing, craft etc? The act of completing something could give you a sense of achievement and help you set goals etc.

[emelee]

It's difficult, I'm sure and sorry to hear about your situation. I have a friend with chronic pain. Fibromyalgia. She can go out with friends on good days. But when going out, it's best to sit around a table and talk instead of dancing.

 

Could it also be that you feel you want another lifestyle because you are growing up? A lot of things happen in your late teens, with one foot in your childhood and the other in the adult world. I know I would never want to be 18 again. Horrible age really. But you'll get older.

 

I always recommend audio books. It's awfully nice to just get cozy on the bed and close your eyes as you follow a story. 

There ARE good TV shows out there. You just have to search for them. I recommend shows like Homeland, Mad Men, Seinfeld etc. But few things beat a really good documentary. BBC has some great documentaries out on DVD.

Music is another thing that is so enjoyable in the background, no matter what you do. Tried Spotify? I find new artists and new podcasts there to listen to all the time. 

And then of course there are painting, drawing, crafting, writing (blogs, poetry, recommendations after reading a book, a novel, thoughts....), learning a new language, and as you said, your cat. I have a dog myself. My precious little baby boy keeps me busy and happy. 

[Athena]

I'm sorry to hear about your illness, Willhm. It sounds like it's really tough. It's difficult when you can't do the things anymore than you used to. I suffer from a condition, where sound (and other input) makes me very mentally tired. I can't go out often or spend much time with other people (especially not with crowds or stangers). I understand it's difficult to adjust to your new life and to accept it. I'm still having problems with it for my own life, sometimes I find I get angry when I feel I'm just too tired to watch a film on TV. Like others have said, it is normal to do less partying etc. when you get a bit older, but it must be very frustrating to have your illness prevent you from making a choice on what you'd like to do and what not.

 

It's great that you're wanting to put a positive spin on your life. I guess you'll have to find a hobby that you can do with your illness and that you like to do (of course). It's hard for me to recommend more than what others have said. I'm sorry you can't read more due to your illness, that would be my no.1 recommendation (well, this is a book forum so..). Another thing perhaps is trying to find a TV show or a film (or both) that you like. There is generally something out there for everyone, though often what is shown on TV is only a limited selection of what's available (at least, here in the Netherlands, we don't have a lot of channels and we're only shown some of the US and UK TV series and films). I don't know you well enough to know what you might like, but hopefully there is something for you out there (where do you live? I'm sorry if you've said this somewhere and I missed it). Another thing that might be nice, is videogames, though again this is not for everyone though there are a lot of different games out there. One thing I do sometimes (when I have the energy) is browsing videos on YouTube. I follow a number of channels (a lot of them to do with books), and I find it fun sometimes to see nice videos that people have made (ie. someone showing their book collection or cute animals).

 

Something creative is a good idea too. You'll probably want to have a sense of productivity now and then, at least I think that's the case for most people?

 

Listening to music is something else that a lot of people enjoy. I can't do it much due to my condition, I would do it more often if I didn't have my problems with sounds. Audiobooks are another option, or podcasts on a subject you're interested in.

 

Something else you could try is learning something new, about a subject you're interested in, ie. history as you say. My boyfriend is quite interested in certain aspects of world war II. A lot of things can be looked up on the internet, in books, seen in documentaries, there is a lot of information to be found that might interest you.

 

Lastly, I don't know how well this would work in your situation, but it could help you to talk over your thoughts with someone close, ie. a friend. I guess this might not be your thing, but a chat with a friend (it doesn't have to be about your illness, it could be about anything) or close one can be nice.

 

That's all I can think of for now, I don't know if any of it is helpful. I hope your illness doesn't cause you too much pain.