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Mole

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Everything posted by Mole

  1. Some of these are great. A large portion of these, if not all of them, are the results of the Style Invitational contest from week 310 (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/invitational/invit990314.htm). This is a humor contest, which asked participants to come up with the bad analogies Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other Sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. - Sue Lin Chong, Washington His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. -Chuck Smith, Woodbridge He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. -Joseph Romm, Washington She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. -Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. -Russell Beland, Springfield McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. -Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. -Roy Ashley, Washington Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Chuck Smith,Woodbridge Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. -Russell Beland, Springfield Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. -Unknown He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. -Jack Bross, Chevy Chase The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. -Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. -Jennifer Hart, Arlington The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. -Wayne Goode, Madison,AL John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. -Russell Beland, Springfield The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.-Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.-Unknown He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. -Brian Broadus, Charlottesville Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut. -Sandra Hull, Arlington The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of "Jeopardy!" -Jean Sorensen, Herndon Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. -Jerry Pannullo, Kensington The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. -Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. -Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. -John Kammer, Herndon My favourite Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. -Barbara Collier, Garrett Park She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. -Susan Reese, Arlington It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before. -Marian Carlsson, Lexington The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton. -J. F. Knowles, Springfield The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. -Jennifer Hart, Arlington The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. -Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium. -Unknown He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. -Susan Reese, Arlington Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser. -Chuck Smith, Woodbridge She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. -Brian Broadus, Charlottesville She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. -Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. -Sue Lin Chong, Washington It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. -Brian Broadus, Charlottesville
  2. Love him or hate him, he couldnt be ignored.
  3. A very good read. I found the first 50 or so pages "setting the scene" a bit dull, but after that it was extremely interesting. The amount of BullS*** spread about Columbine would fertilize a football field. Eg: They were bullied-wrong : They targeted people by race : They were Goths All bull, and that
  4. From western Australia, currently living in the goldfields, soon to be going costal again!
  5. Lets see, I remember being perfectly happy, warm, well fed and happy, then I was born.... I was born dead but got better (poor mum was left in the stirrups while they all rushed off to revive me) I was an avid reader at an early age due mainly, I think, due to terrible eyesight and a vacation travelling over Westrn Australia. ("look over there, in the distance....meh!) I was a terrible child, 30 years later and people from my old home town still remind me "you were a **** of a kid".... Was a bad student at school. Spent about 3 months in hospital at the age of 13, where I taught myself to speed read, the worst thing I could have done. I went through dozens of books.... After school Ive run through quite a few jobs, including shedhand woolpresser shearer deckhand on a scallop trawler road worker lab assistant (plant tissue culture) Detention officer (I may post a couple of my shorts on that later) Mine Medic and trainer. Theres quite a few other bits and pieces but thats most of them. Currently working as a medic/trainer on a nickel mine in WA. I work week on week off and am on call 24/7 while at work. A lot of my job is training new starters and various safety checks, so pretty boring really. In a couple of months Ill be running my business full time and moving to a costal town, so big changes coming. I still read a fair bit, and love to get sucked in by a good book. Oh yeah and theres this woman who keeps following me around, I think shes stalking me, I woke up last week and she was even in bed with me!!! (Denise from this forum is my other half)
  6. Anyone here a fan of/ or read much of Theodore Dalrymple? (the blokes pen name) Possibly the best book Ive read on modern society and its puzzling failures. Why does the worst section of society seem to be increasing? Why doesnt welfare keep people from living in squallor? Why do women stay with men who abuse them? A relly good read looking at the mindset of a section of society that has never had so many opportunities, but refuses most of them for cheap booze and a shag. Not a happy book, he doesnt write a pesription to cure societies ills, but he does point out a number of the worst symptoms. Heres a short extract. "..Such redistribution was the goal of the welfare state. But it has not eliminated poverty, despite the vast sums expended, and despite the fact that the poor are now substantially richer
  7. Excellent book, read it when I was quite young. Some of the Big names mentioned in the various claims of fraud etc are still occasionaly seen in the news today, suing or countersuing one another. The worst part i thought wasnt the governments indifference (bad as that was), but the way the writers own newspapers refused to report on the disease properly because it might affect a lot of their advertising revenue. The terrible news that even his own lover (who knew the risks), still went out and acted like it wasnt real was terrible as well. Still worth a read, even if some of the stroy has dated a bit since it came out.
  8. Magician by Raymond E. Feist is a good read on its own. There is a whole series using the same characters/setting if you like it.
  9. Probably "filth" by Irvine Walsh, a hard read on a number of levels. The main character is so revolting you feel sorry for his Tape worm when he commits suicide. If you red that spoiler and it made no sense, trust me it will if you read that book. Hes a copper, but a complete moral degenerate.
  10. Mole

    P G Wodehouse

    Ive never seen the TV series, was it worthwhile? read a number of the books, I always loved how terrified everyone seemed of the formidable Aunties. "He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say "when!"" "The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun." If you havent read them, then as a treat pick up pretty well any one, just be prepared for some funny looks if you read them in public.
  11. I reread the book last year, its a really great read. I remember beign assigned it in school years ago and not being "convinced" by its story, now Im not so sure. Look at how much freedom is lost already in the name of "Laura Norder", if anything the UK looks the closest in spirit, if not in deed (yet). Place the following search terms in your browser if you want to worry. (I havent done the minimum posts to put links in yet so sorry) Classrom spying. School laptops and remote surveilance Free laptops to kids UK. Now if I were paranoid.......
  12. I first found the book s while working on a trawler whan I was about 15. The interview with the vampire was just one of a box of books we got as a 2nd hand cheap lot for on the boat. I read and re-read it dozens of times. It didnt quite change my life but it came close. Whereas before I wasnt interested in life that much it changed one aspect of my thinking a lot. I wanted to see what would happen next. To the world. To me. I have read nearly all her books and have a soft spot for "the mummy", but dont read it expecting anything more than a "popcorn" read, its a book for fun, a one off in a very different style to the Vampire books. I enjoyed Lasher and the mayfair witches, the idea of an entity planning and executing a plot stretching over generations was great.
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