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poppy

Book Wyrm
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  1. he'd run any faster he'd have stood a good chance of beating Usain Bolt! I didn't expect to see him again but I hoped his charges would return, they'd got through a pile of work that had been falling on my stooped and overburdened shoulders. There was enough time now for me to take a break so I reclined my lazy boy, put my feet up and took forty winks. I was in the middle of a very pleasant dream where ...
  2. I had to put up with so many pillocks. How I missed Rosie, she was so good with people, with her charming and winning ways she could convince the most truculent to co-operate and had boundless patience with sops like Cross. Admittedly, there were times when I felt she was a little over-friendly with young Lotharios and I'd had cause to have a few words, but generally I'm happy to be hard at it behind the scenes and leave the public relations to her. I wonder when she'll be home. 'Arr humm ... are you listening to me?' Pastor Cross had been wittering on apparently. 'Not particularly, I really must ...
  3. I looked at him aghast. 'I didn't think vicars smoked cigars! Have you got a spare?' 'Certainly. It's a little hobby of mine, collecting fine Cuban cigars. After all, what was good enough for Winnie, is good enough for me. My favourite is the Montecristo, but the Trinidad Esmeralda comes very close in my humble opinion. It all depends on your tastes whether it be sweet, nutty, leathery, tangy, citrusy, floral, honeyed, spicy, woody, fruity ...' By this stage I was glazing over. I inexpertly lit the cigar, puffed in and out rapidly, inhaled deeply, and had a apoplectic coughing fit. Parson Cross thumped me on the back, which only made matters worse. 'You're supposed to cut the end, Mr Revolting!' he said, rather aggrieved, 'and you NEVER inhale!' I ground the nasty, smelly thing out in the dregs of my teacup. 'Well really!' spluttered the Parson, 'I mean to say ...
  4. their work, that I decided to hire them. 'Well done lads! Would any of you be interested in after school and weekend work? I'll pay £4 an hour and tea breaks thrown in.' 'Getta grip, moite! The mini mum's £5.28 and we ain't working for nothing under £6. Yous seen how us works, we're worth it!' English proficiency was obviously not a necessity when it came to street savvy. I thought for a moment ...
  5. at the ready for my next cup of tea. 'It will indeed be a pleasure!' gushed the worthy Parson Cross. 'Always happy to assist the constabulary and their fight against the rising tidal wave of crime. If you will just wait one moment ...' and he shot out the door and was soon back with around thirty boys. 'If I can just leave this lot with you, dear Mr Revolting, I will return to collect them forthwith.' My mouth was still hanging open in astonishment when he and the cops beat a hasty retreat. A more mottley assortment of pestilences I'd never seen! All chewing gum, slouching against walls, one had a slingshot and looked like he was about to take out some fellows eye and another was handing around cigarettes. 'Right you lot! ...
  6. how many, how well behaved they are ... you know, any nasty habits like pinching things, peeing on loo floors, kicking cats etc ... and how much you're willing to pay for the privilege?' 'Well, I was rather hoping, ours being a charitable group and all, you could see your way clear to waiving any charges at this time. I assure you, the boys are very well behaved, they adore cats and have been rigidly toilet trained. Of course we will pay the usual fees for tea and cake. It would be very good good publicity, you know. I have a good friend, Peregrine Farquhar-Smythe, who ...
  7. overwork, stress and the heavy burden of responsibility. Tea was the order of the day ... hot, sweet, strong tea. And preferably accompanied by custard creams, if that little minx Dolly hadn't found and eaten all my secret hoard! I'd just settled down with my cup that cheers when who should walk in but ...
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