Hello,
I am very new to the forum and mentioned in my introduction that I am 18 and suffer from a chronic illness which doesn't seem to have an obvious time limit to its stay with me, but most probably years and years, maybe decades. Anyway it keeps me pretty much housebound 24/7.
I have had this illness for 4 years and up until quite recently I have longed for my old life back, the football, the parties, going to university, going into town, but then I realised it wasn't me who wanted those things it was what everyone who I used to be around want but I actually don't. From being away from my old friends I realise that my interests lie rather far away from what I thought I wanted, some of these interests I have always subconsciously had but were in the back of my mind, probably pushed back there by playstation and texting.
But like I said more recently I have realised I have no interest in my past hobbies and want to embrace a completely different lifestyle, obviously I have already had to due to my illness but I want to turn it into a positive thing, not a negative.
In the past all I have thought of is oh no, I can't play any sport can't even walk around without feeling terrible, can't go up with friends, can't do anything basically, feel ill all the time etc. but now I want to turn it on its head and make it a positive lifestyle.
I feel I have matured a lot more through my illness and want to use that as a catalyst, but was wondering if anyone had any ideas?
I have suffered quite a bit from depression but over the last year it has improved a lot and even more recently it has been much easier, but still obviously a problem, so on some days I feel more 'up for doing things' than others.
Things I now enjoy doing are reading (but I mentioned due to my health I can find this very difficult to do), listening to certain things on the radio such as short stories or interesting documentaries, as well as some more light hearted things, I enjoy nature very much but am stuck inside pretty much and couldn't really garden due to health, we have a cat at home which helps quite a bit actually, I am interested a lot with what's going on so try and keep up with the news with papers or radio (I try and not watch much TV because I don't like pretty much a anything that is on but sometimes I feel so worn out its difficult to do anything else but it depresses me afterwards), I have an interest in historical things such as castles and battles and a small interest in things like watches but find it difficult to do too much about these interests as it can get depressing just to read about these things and nothing happen with it.
I am sorry I have gone on so long,I just feel like I really want to change my old negative life around to a really positive one and it seems like what I actually enjoy is a lot different to what I was doing. It is almost like a retired persons life, in a positive way, not a care home way, but more like gardening, enjoying reading, a much more layer back lifestyle. And as being ill is rather stressful it would be nice to have a more relaxing life as it seems as I have come to the realisation that I may have to spend the rest of my life with this illness so I best start preparing and taking the right steps rather than the wrong ones.
Thank you stomach if you managed to read all of this and I really appreciate it, if you have any ideas, any at all, please share them with me.
Thanks again.
